My thoughts, my expression

Here it is again!

2011-12-31T19:32:00.000+05:30

Here it is. That time of the year. When the whole world revels, a few sit back and relax, a few ponder over what happened in a year that seemed so short.

I know for sure, yet again, I'm not in the first category. When someone asked me what my plans were for the new years, I'd told, as I recall, 'Plans generally go kaput. Let's see how it goes.'

Well, they did go kaput, to an extent. :P

Anyways, I'm at home, as usual, this time around too. Nothing's much changed this year. Hell, it moved on faster than any of the years.

Eventful? Yes, definitely. Few worth telling out on a public forum, few, clearly not. A detailed account can be searched about in my earlier blogs, for really patient people once they are back from their hangover.

I have this strange urge to get all philosophical this time around too. But I'll hold myself back. Don't want to sound like a 50 year old already, considering the alliances I've been getting (so far, at least).

I'll probably welcome the new year with music. I don't see any better way to do it, as of now. Till then, a movie probably.

But I'm more excited about what 2012 will bring about. Importantly, the December 21st part of what has been doing the rounds for quite sometime now. I remember being as excited about it, the first time I got to know about it. Can't wait to be a part of history. I think I'll be one of the very few people to be disappointed if nothing happens as per the Mayan end of days. Nevertheless, this year will see a lot of unfinished stuff getting completed, of which I can assure I'll keep the blog world updated about. Hopefully, I'll do something that I've never done before this year.

Here's wishing all of you a very Happy New Year. May you all have a good time (partying, for today and,) throughout the year.

And life goes on..

2011-11-28T22:03:00.001+05:30

When its been quite long since I'd have rambled and written something, I generally go back to see what I've written. The mere thought of Jobs and his effect still makes me shiver and wells up my eyes.

But, life goes on, so will Apple, atleast for 5 years or so. I wish them all the luck.

Anyways, November is almost over, and like a dutiful blogger, I was determined to not miss writing one. Life's been pretty hectic, but fun, nevertheless.

I attended my first conference, not sure if it was the first I attended, but for sure the first in which I participated, as in, presented my work to an expert audience, waiting for them to shred my work to pieces that can't be collected later on. Surprisingly, of course with assistance from my guide, my work wasn't shredded to pieces, it was not lauded either, but it was not shredded. I discovered a very different approach in the way conferences and people are dealt with, compared to how it is done in the US. Not that I went there again, but interaction at such a level hadn't happened here, for me to relate to it any earlier.

The conference was at the campus of IIT, Roorkee, which we reached by train (phew!). Easily one of the best campuses I'd have ever seen till now. It looked like a pukka student atmosphere. Missed my hostel days, those night walks, those endless midnight talks et al. Its hard to believe sometimes that I'm back in college, on the other side of the class, as one of my dear friends put it across for me.

Haridwar and Rishikesh were two places we were able to go to, owing to time constraints. Rafting on the Ganges was probably one of the most humbling feeling I've ever got. I mean, we've read about the river, know that people worship it, know of the mythological significance it has in an Indian context. Not that I'm an all believer, but still, the word means purity to me. Standing there all decked up and ready to raft was an unexplainable feeling. I sometimes think I dwell too much on the psychological part of the effects of inanimate objects, I'm trying to figure out why. Maybe its the inkling to write a song. Maybe. Rafting was fun, indeed, but the news that came to me later that day wasn't.

After Jobs' death, I was shocked by 3 other deaths. All people whom I revered if not idolized. All people whom I loved and respected, if not worshipped. All stalwarts in their own might. Ghazal maestro Jagjit Singh, Bhupen Hazarika, the voice that still resonates in my ears, and today, just today, Ustad Sultan Khan. Bhupenda passed away the day I rafted on the Ganga. The song that he had created, the song that brought about a wave of something over me, back in my engineering days. The song that Nani and I would discuss about, for a long time to come.

Jagjit Singh ji was the life of ghazals for many. I shamelessly admit that I'd not heard of many of his ghazals, probably owing to my extremely poor knowledge of the language, which would result in totally being unappreciative of the nuances of finer words and the way in which they were used. I loved his voice though, that deep baritone is equalled by few.

Ustad Sultan Khan was another different but remarkable singer. I first heard him in Piya Basanti. Discovered that soul is the most important essence of singing, even if you have the most melodious female voice singing along with you. Discovered the Sarangi because of him. Sang Albela Sajan a zillion times, which made me get selected in a number of places.

I mean no offense to anybody, but these weren't people whom I idolized. I respected them and learnt immensely, but it was not heart shattering, because I've not been able to make myself aware of the entire database of their potentiality. I shiver with trepidation when I think what would happen when people whom I adore, worship and consider indispensable prove me wrong in matters of longevity. Not that there won't be a similarly talented being on the planet. But that there won't be anybody as close with dedication and passion, a rare quality these days.

So, life does go on, on and on. It takes sometime after the initial grief to realize that life's indeed so unpredictable and lets get on with it, take reigns, let the horses control it sometimes, but enjoy and live it to the fullest.

Jobs!

2011-10-06T10:40:00.000+05:30

I really don't intend to make this a eulogy, I'll really try not to.

My first tryst was with the Powerbook G4 or G3, I don't remember. My brother had got it from Australia in mid 2005 sometime, on his vacation. I didn't have a clue how to use the machine, I guess that is exactly why I was flummoxed. He let me use it purely for Garageband, and in the next few hours, I'd recorded bits of 3 songs. I'm not saying I was a wizard, I'm not saying that was the best software I ever used, but I'd say boy, it was fun using it.

6 years later, I own 4 of apple products, God has been very kind in that regard. I follow each minute detail of apple, their product launches, press conferences, the WWDC, its almost uncontrollable excitement, every time. The like I've only experienced when I'd to propose to my ex girlfriend, or when I'm on stage, ready to deliver my first song.

I can't even begin to say how my respect and admiration for Steve, grew, over the years. The way life took its course on him, the way he took back the reins of his life, the way he stood by (sometimes irritably), the way he innovated, just about everything. Maybe, most of the things. Its actually unfair to sum up his achievements and his vision in a few words, by somebody who just admires him, knowing nothing about technology and marketing.

Just a few days back, before the iPhone 4S released, I was thinking that all great people we have today are old. They created their own mights, in their fields. We all look upto them. It was a very disturbing thought that they were old and vulnerable and if I may, fragile. It would surely create a void, in their absence. Voids aren't always good. Even if there are people ready to fill in, it'll take an awfully lot of time for me to imagine them filling a void. They could create a new aura instead. But voids remain.

Least did I expect Steve Jobs to fall in that category. I mean, its unreal. Though he has battled for life, for quite a long time, as per media reports, I had always assumed that he is weak, as he looked during the launch of the iPad 2. But never had I assumed that his end was this near. I was glad he took over as chairman and made it publicly known that he won't be able to do justice to his earlier position. Still it didn't strike me. Maybe Steve knew. Maybe.

I have lamented quite a lot that I had never been able to experience the nerve breaking excitement that I'd (partly for Tim) during the last iPhone 4S event, earlier, to witness the iPod being launched in 2001. But I've youtube atleast, that has documented it. For which I can't thank enough.

I've heard people exclaim in awe, I've heard people rue about apple's policies, I've heard Jobs himself say that death is the only thing that we all share. But let me reiterate, its really unfair for someone like me, in fact, I'll take the liberty of saying that its unfair for any of us to summarize his achievements, his visions, his inventions and his aspirations in a few words, a few hours after his death. Its hard to imagine that only 4 years back, the phone was reinvented. Maybe there was a touchscreen akin to iPhone earlier, but its not about a new product. Its all about a new idea for an old product. I don't think it was ever easy to challenge a behemoth like windows.

He was arrogant, he was a taskmaster, he was someone whom you probably don't want as your boss. But he was a genius, he was brave, he was, is and will be admired by generations to come.

September

2011-09-30T21:05:00.001+05:30

Ok, this was meant to be my first full fledged blog posting using an iOS device. (a)JM.

September, my most dreaded month had almost, on a couple of times lived unto its notoriety. But I'm forced to change my opinion now. It was bad timing, all the while, for 4 years or so.

Apart from sunny days after a rainy/cold spell in September, (though I am not supposed to say this having been out of India for 3 Septembers), my (current) usual rendezvous with influenza, risen petrol prices, there is really nothing much I can find to complain about September. Alright, I know I'm being too picky. But I already said, September isn't too bad after all :)

On the contrary, its a little productive ;). Our lab facility was inaugurated just a few days back. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to reveal much on my (personal) webspace. But it was something big, and it went on well.

Life's as usual, with busy and interesting spells packed in. Learning experience never ends, guess that is how its like being in the academia. I'm surprised with the speed things are unfolding though. Life's changing gears, maybe similar to the Q7's 8 gear transmission, need to catch up to the speed.

Have been out of reading for a while now, had a really busy schedule. Just started reading Bill Bryson's A short history of nearly everything. This, (you'd know if you've read) is probably the only book of this kind that'll ever come close to being actually p-r-e-s-c-r-i-b-e-d for a curriculum. I mean, its so novel-like. To top it all, its like a sequel to all those history channel videos I've always been fascinated about. Please read it.

That's a wrap for now, will keep the blogworld updated about my next favorite month coming up. Even when it was more than 2 months away, it already boasted of the Metallica concert on a special day followed by my trip to Roorkee. Lets just hope it doesn't fail like September did :)

Au revoir!

The Amphibian

2011-08-31T15:33:00.000+05:30

Amphibians. The class of vertebrates that are capable of living both in water and on land. Two radically different scenarios. Why were they made?

There were animals that could just stay on land, there were the ones that could stay in water, swim in all their glory. But, why were, (If I may?) organisms that could exist both on water and land created? Pardon my ignorance, but even if there are human inventions of that kind, they have not been as popular as the Car or the Ship.

The human mind is programmed to do so much more than what is actually done. When entities like amphibians have existed since the Devonian period, much earlier than the human race, merely the human mind should be much capable, rendering everything else pale in comparison. If amphibians were bestowed with a complex body structure that enabled them to stay on either media with equal aplomb, the human mind, over period of time of course, realised that humans couldn't do it and developed accessories and apparatus instead.

The human mind. So creative, yet so destructive.

For reasons unknown to me, a large section of people restrict the potency of the brain to just what is most obvious, what is easiest to do and what the general human perception is. Mind you, it is again a perception devised by the same human mind. While I agree with the principle of doing one thing and sticking to it throughout the life in order to better it over due course of time, it, sometimes sounds monotonous to me. What is more exciting to me is when you can squeeze in enormous amounts of work and creativity in quite a few areas and still, deliver.

I'm not saying that its an individual thing. The human mind has seen enormous amounts of creative waves in the form of Leonardo da Vinci, who, wiki says, was an engineer, mathematician, artist, musician, painter, sculptor, architect, inventor, scientist, anatomist, cartographer, botanist, writer and geologist. Phew. Now, I'm not sure if wiki is to be believed as a credible source of info, but I remember having read somewhere about his inventions. Giving benefit of doubt to the great artist, I'll take it that atleast 7/8ths of that is true.

Now, I know I'll invite a lot of flak because there are people who have proven their worth in their fields, without insulting their field or other fields. There are numerous people who have proven time and again, that with determination and passion, anything can be achieved. Maybe my perspective toward life is different. But let me reiterate, my potency is not very different. I believe that in a small life of 60 years, if you'll have to look back, there should not be an iota of remorse for not having done something, especially if that something is dear to you. There'll be many things dear in life, which is again a perspective, and purely a matter of choice.

Which is why I envy the amphibian. I'd not say they don't have enough commitments or responsibilities. I'd say they have theirs, I've mine. But I don't think they'd have a complex mind, as complex as their body structure. Welcome, the human mind. The supreme entity that creates problems, emotions and at the end of it all, resolves everything.

P.S. Its very tempting to check this for mistakes, but for the first time, I'm posting it without (re)reading.

The myriad LIFE

2011-07-31T00:10:00.001+05:30

I don't miss writing blogs anymore. To say I have a lot of written record now is an understatement. I write for myself, exclusively, stuff that I won't publish, whenever I feel like it, away from the public eye. I've a progress checker haunting me every 15 days to make sure I don't deviate from my goals. Sounds really mechanical and robotic. The only respite is since the person who keeps track of all this is myself, I decide to cut some slack. Sometimes.

But the thing with life is, you'll have to really go with the flow. Its slightly contradicting. You need to live life to the fullest, do what you love to do. Enjoy and live for the moment. On the other hand, its just one life that one knows of that has been 'gifted' by some entity. Pack as much as possible in one life and make it awesome. We live just once. There's really less time to get bogged down by trivial things, that are by themselves, a part of life itself.

Though the latter perception helps one go about crazily and do a lot of stuff, the reality of everything being real dawns down, at a point, manifesting itself as a fleeting thought or as a temporary phase of being low.

I mean, there are really times when even favourite songs or classy quotes fail to inspire. I don't know if I can talk for the general public or just a few insane people like me, or for just me. But, something, somewhere will always be ready to inspire. That'll come in the form of a novel, or Chitraji's songs, for now, for me. Well, again, its probably a perception. Things don't go as per plan. We (I'm sure I can generalise here) as humans, showing our greed in every possible facet of life would want to plan for a lot of things, and we do it to such an extent that even if we are lucky enough to lead a more than average life, we still get worked up about a silly thing. Maybe this is how life is, maybe things getting added up, its upto us to filter and decide what is really worthy of getting worked up.

All said and done, life's still beautiful, and making it remain so is entirely on us. Looking at the big picture helps, maybe sometimes, when you are probably looking at getting inspired by something. Very likely, it'll seem like something trivial. Rather, you are on the right track, if it seems so.

Dream

2011-06-28T20:36:00.002+05:30

Dream. Fantasy. So far apart, but still have some bit of a dangling semblance.

Felt the bulging need to mention fantasy here, as I'm in the middle of reading The Lost Symbol, a novel in the Robert Langdon series by Dan Brown, for the second time. Not that I loved it so much, but frankly I don't remember if I do. Read this at around the same time I read the Six Sacred Stones and was terribly upset with Matthew Reilly for having not finished the novel in one book. I mean, are you even allowed to do such stuff with a fast paced thriller? Anyways, The Lost Symbol reading started, again, after a minor tiff with a friend if it was on par with Angels and Demons or the Da Vinci Code. I'm yet to find out.

Back to dream and fantasy, I can think of a few things, songs in particular, just by the mention of the word 'Dream'. It was the song presented by Susan Boyle in Britain's got talent, in 2009. The first time I saw the video, I was surprised like anybody. But I don't remember being rude, like most people in the audience. Although, what I remember vividly is emoting more than the audience there. It was the voice, I guess, but more than that, it probably was the song structure, the powerful vocals backed by the soft piano keys, an abrupt key change right in the middle of the song that hits you like a gong, the brass here and there. Here, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp7ARm2Lwdo. If someone would sing like that and look like that, I'd marry her. Not Susan Boyle, the babe from Glee, whatever it is, an album or a band or whatever.

The other thing that I'd love to emulate would be Dream on, by Aerosmith, which I think I've missed performing by a whisker. The opportunity came to me when I had never heard of Aerosmith, which is really sad. I really doubt if I'd be able to do justice to that song, but what are dreams for? They make you feel good.

Dream. Wonder how this word came into usage. The terminology itself would incite a lot of praise and harangue from me at the same time. Its my dream to own a Lamborghini Aventador. Its my dream to be on stage with my band and perform to our own numbers. Its all a dream. I freaking hate it because its a dream. Is it fantasy? Not yet.

Its all still possible. By all, I refer to my other dreams too. But as a fiercely closed person as I'm, going close to reveal 2 dreams in public is as far as I would ever go, even if I'm heavily drunk. The last time I remember being drunk, though , I edited an official letter for grammar for a friend, and the other time, I drove an Accord, with 3 other people, and reached home safe and sound. Hell, I'm a person who eats only half of the stomach's capacity on a regular basis, so I would surely know how to drink 'in capacity', which is the farthest I'd take it. To call me 'in control' would be nothing but a gross understatement.

So now, back to the Dream. In certain facets of life, from as much psychiatry I know, one can fantasize. There's nothing wrong in fantasizing and feeling good about it. But the dream is nowhere about merely thinking and feeling good about it. A Dream is a challenge. A Dream is an inspiration. A Dream is what pushes you to the hitherto unknown avenues of your own lifestyle. As rightly said by one Mr. John Updike, 'Dreams come true. Without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.' It is so persuasively inspiring that even if you would want to brush aside your Dream, which is really, a foolish thing to do, you'd then brush it back and put it back on track.

The human mind is limitless. There are no restrictions enforced by anybody or anything on it, on the thought, I mean. The closest anything can get, in terms of being free, would be a bird, till it lays eggs. In the practical world, it gets a little tricky trying to achieve what one dreams of. There might be instances when one assuages oneself reminding that its after all, a Dream. But, it IS a Dream. Something that YOU need to work to make sure it IS yours.

AR Rahman - Bangalore

2011-05-31T22:52:00.002+05:30

The most noteworthy event of this month, hell, I'd say even of my life was attending Rahman's concert, for the third time, in my life. I remember the chills and unexplainable joy I'd experienced standing in the rain, with Shankar Mahadevan and Rahman's jugalbandi on Ghanan ghanan, years back at Palace Grounds. None of the emotions changed later in 2010, when I attended his concert in Houston. Only the mouth went wider with amazement as to how on earth 'an Indian composer can pull of a show of such magnitude', to quote myself from twitter.

When I learnt about the concert happening in Bangalore again, it reminded me of the chills, the emotion all over again. I knew I would not be disappointed, I wasn't. Not with the songs, or singers or the set or the lighting. But, to an extent with the sound guy. I'm sure a lot of attention would have been paid to it, he probably had a bad day.

The concert as a whole, was awesome. I'm probably very fortunate for having seen two concerts organised in such a grandeur. Cancel probably, a la VW. I'd expected the song line up at Houston to remain the same, more or less at least. It took me entirely by surprise.

The show started off with Yelelo, the lines from Roja, immediately inciting a thunderous applause and bursting out of all pent up emotions, sending chills everywhere, influencing the tear glands to a great extent. In short, nothing in the world mattered anymore, and everything but for the song, the voice and the man seemed infinitesimal.

Quickly, the stage setting changed, the dancers came out, the songs were unleashed at a rapid pace. I was amazed by this new line up of singers (again), couldn't really come to terms with how beautifully they carried themselves and performed, not compromising at any time on the vocals. It was style. It was panache, clubbed with dedication and practice, that was evident. Maybe it was the taskmaster too. :)

Yayire saw a complete makeover. So did Tanha tanha. Man mohini was fused with Tu muskura. Chukku bukku raile was hard rock and was fused with Petti rap. Anjaana was sung by the man himself, so were half a dozen other songs, such as Rehna tu, Dil se, Tere bina, Meherbaan, Yeh jo des hai tera, Gurus of Peace, etc.

I realised (again) how pure Javed Ali's voice is. Just the line 'tum se kyaa maangu main, tum khud hi samajh lo' from Arziyaan was enough to make me watery eyed. The other line up consisted of Shweta Pandit, Harshdeep Kaur, Neeti Mohan, Vijayprakash, Suresh Peters, Remo Fernandes, Sivamani and a bunch of super talented, amazing singers and musicians, apologies for not knowing their names.

I reiterate, I don't think there can be any composer who can make songs like Mukkala and Khwaja mere khwaja. Like Pappu can't dance saala and Uyire uyire. Like Vande mataram and Kismat se tum. Like Thirakaatha and Bombay theme. Like Oruvan oruvan and Piya haji ali. This, is all possible with total submission to the music, to the divine entity and faith, in work. Success not reaching the head is also what which can make things happen. When I listen to Rahman's songs, more than his voice, his composition, his innovative ideas, his choice of instruments or singers, which would take weeks to settle in, its the immense dedication that I can listen to. Its the submissiveness that I can listen to.

Such a great person. Such talent. Didn't hurt me when it poured in Bangalore a few years back, almost canceling the concert. Didn't hurt me when a few people said, 'How come Rahman doesn't sing in his concerts? It was such a waste of money, Rahman's concert and only other people sing!'. Didn't hurt me when people commented in Houston that Rahman should not perform SOUTH INDIAN songs. Likewise, it doesn't hurt me when a composer of the stature of Ismail Durbar, a great composer himself, who dared to create his own style, makes a statement saying the Academy awards were bought. Like I said, I'm in the phase where in everything else apart from the man, his music and his voice seems just infinitesimal.

Hats off to you, Rahman Sir, for your music, for your perspective toward life. May you perform many more times, in Bangalore and elsewhere; may you win more accolades; may you come out with great albums that would set benchmarks for years to come.

Jai Ho!

And April marches too!

2011-04-29T22:36:00.001+05:30

The sheer amount of joblessness when I was in the US, made me ponder, and at times, discuss with my room mates as to what my schedule was when I was here, working, trekking, performing and jamming, something that would serve as food for thought, at times, now that I'm back. Life's not much different now. :)

April probably was the most eventful, till now, since I started working. Lot of travel, lot of fun.

When I boarded my flight to Bangalore, I was very happy. One, that I'd made a decision and was getting back to my home, and the other, that I'd never ever have to make such an arduous long journey again, ever in my life. Little did I know that I would be wrong. Its for no reason whatsoever that it is said that one wouldn't know what is in store.

I was supposed to go to Chicago, for a 2 week training. This came across hardly as a shock, compared to what would happen weeks later after the decision. My US visa was rejected. To attribute it to my hair, the officer didn't even look at my face. To attribute it to some immigration laws, I fail to understand the fact that the officer who cancels my student visa doesn't bother to inspect my documents and denies me a visa. It was hilarious, actually. None of the 3 of us who were supposed to go got a visa. Needless to say, I didn't meet a single person since then who wasn't surprised.

A trek with my friends is something that eluded me since a long time. When I had come here during my vacation, it didn't look like a big deal to me, something that I'd repent for a very long time after I'd go back. I was thrilled when we all decided to go on a trek, albeit for 2 days, near Dharmasthala, Karnataka. We camped just next to the waterfalls, a few feet just before the falls would take a 250 feet vertical drop. The closest I could go was maybe 20 ft away from the cliff. Hell, my head was reeling just by seeing people standing and sitting at the edge. But the scenic Western Ghats compensated totally for what I would boldly say was one of the most energy draining treks of all. It only made us think how important food and water were. I think, subconsciously, it provided inspiration for a new song that I recently wrote.

The farthest I travelled till now on road was from Bangalore to Pune and from there to Nashik. The sleeper, in my opinion was a notch comfy than the train. Stayed at Nashik for about 2 days. I'm involved with fire research. We burn things and then extinguish them :P. Only, there are standards that tell us how to burn and how to put the fire off. Had the sun been a little more intense, I'd have become the raw material myself for a fire test. But, all's well that ends well. The training programme seemed too short for a travel of 1000+ km on road.

Can't help but notice (again) how fast time is flying. It seems slow sometimes too. I'll be meeting my brother tomorrow, after 3 and a half years. I don't know if that is a long time or a short time, 'coz I don't see anything having changed.

Anyways, I'm off. See you all soon. :)

March! (pun intended)

2011-03-31T22:15:00.001+05:30

Barely. Just Barely.
I'd almost given up, and to augment my laziness, the internet responded a little slower than usual when I'd almost closed the page till the familiar layout showed up :). I must really stop treating blogs like a last minute bill payment, honestly!

But with gym, music, work and other mission'S' (:P) that I'm trying to scrape through, (still), none of them have become regular as yet. Guess I am losing my managing skills or the travel takes the most of my energy. A 3 day workout (at least) has probably seen light of the day (week) a couple of times. Music classes, which I'd been planning since a long time ago, will have to wait till I get back from The US of A.

Oh yeah, that reminds me that I didn't mention. The wholly ugly process of the US visa! I never even had a wildest dream that I'd go through the dreadful process again. Have heard about a lot of rejections off late, will get to know about mine in less than a week now.

Haven't been able to meet a lot of friends, haven't been able to record stuff, haven't been able to keep up promises, haven't been able to meet a few of my goals, but I should say, I'm loving it. I mean, all this happens at breakneck speed. More so, coz I work on Saturdays too. So technically, its just one day in a week that I get to do the most, and people say try and concentrate on one and accomplish it, but I say, I live once, let me try my hand at all of it, as long as I enjoy doing it.

The horrible part of all the 'missions' is the hair washing part, which, simply put, I've no idea how I'm managing with the temperatures going as high as 35 odd, and all the traveling. Well, so far so good. The day I decide I have had enough, there are loads of compliments coming in, so, I believe its ok!

Anyways, I'm off. Hope the next blog wouldn't look as forced.

The turn of events, if one may say so

2011-02-28T23:27:00.000+05:30

Ah! Respite. Finally. :)

I'm employed. Can't really say I went through turmoil for ages, but whatever little I went through, its best if its kept to myself. All in all, I can just say that I'm glad things went this way. There were decisions that I could have taken, in a fit of desperation and frustration, but maybe something inside told me to wait it out, which I did. The rest, I must say, just fell into place. Maybe divine intervention, maybe destiny.

By the way, I'm now Assistant Professor at Jain University. The campus is huge and very nice, about 55 km from my place. There are many best parts about the job, travel included. 55 km would probably take about 2 hours, one way. But there is the college bus, which eliminates the need to drive. The timings make life so easy! The college operates from 8.30 AM to 4.00 PM. :)

The college, the facilities is something I'm yet to explore, but the fascinating part of it is the research going on. I'm in a department called Center for Disaster Mitigation, working on Fire. Mostly safety and the like. There is this huge lab that is being constructed which, ideally should serve for the whole of Asia-Pacific for testing materials for fire safety, one of the important aspects of safety generally taken for granted here in India. So, its the lab that I'll have to take care of, with a little teaching, due to start around 2 years later.

Though I'm all decked in formals, the presence of the pony draws multiple giggles, arouses interest and awe among the student folk. Surprisingly, though Jain prescribes a dress code, they managed to exempt me from it. But honestly, one (or rather, a group) should at the least hold a clandestine short meeting about my pony, unlike what they do now. I mean, its obvious for me and the people I hang around with that my pony is the topic of discussion. Well, way of life! ;)

Faculty and fellow colleagues address me 'SIR', which definitely feels weird. Guess needs a little time. Hell, it feels odd even when a coupla students addressed me SIR!

Well, adios for now, while I'll still grapple with my travel routine, college timings, managing music and my workouts, and most importantly, my sleep.

With half an hour for the day and the month to end, I am grinning ear to ear that I didn't miss February. :)

Random thoughts

2011-01-31T17:29:00.000+05:30

Just a few days back, it was the New Year’s day. Didn’t realise its already the 31st! On one hand, had this strong urge to not write a blog, simply because there isn’t anything to write actually. But I realised I could actually choose to do that every time I wanna write. So, I forced myself to write something, just for the record.

Guess its an example straight out of what happens in life. I strongly believe, and I know most of you would also agree that people have tremendous potential and it clearly shows when they are pushed to the maximum.

(Excuse the philosophical rant,

courtesy: Now playing: Dream on - Aerosmith)

In the middle of typical mood swings these days. Today, I feel there is so much to do in life, so much that I’ve rambled on, when alone, that come to think of it, there is actually very less time to do all that. Sometimes, just because of the insecurity that sets in if I would be able to do all of it or not, prompts me to aimlessly drift away from the ‘set’ goal.

Music. Ah. Those 5 magical words. They give joy and another set of 5 letters. Bliss. Earlier, not much earlier in fact, my rendezvous with music was just going to classes, learning the lessons with utmost dedication, minus any practical application. That changed pretty fast over the years, courtesy, the company I had, the musical repertoire I found myself attracted to. The next phase was spending a lot of time in figuring out how tunes were made, how they applied in other forms of music. How everything is a magical set of just 7 (or 12, erudite musicians) notes. This phase saw no emphasis on lyrics, whatsoever. I guess that is when it all changed.

(Now playing: Aaromale - Alphonse/AR Rahman)

When I learnt what words and expressions in songs meant, I didn’t stop listening to songs that I don’t understand. Music still has taken precedence over lyrics, obviously. Talk about music not being native to any language.

Maybe around 7 years has passed since I started with these phases. Today, I’m a part of a band, and I can say I’m proud to be one of the founding members. What started off as a thought of just creating instrumental pieces changed over time, and proper ‘songs’ were born. Someone recently asked me, ‘It must feel really great no, after composing a song? It’s more like you’ve achieved something.’ No, it honestly doesn’t. When I listen to songs that I’ve already recorded, I think what can be made better in it. More often than not, I get lost when composing a song. I just stop working even if I’m getting ideas and distance myself physically from it. I let it evolve and come to me. This could last from anywhere between few hours, a day or more than a couple of months. Achievement is still something that scares me, especially with something like music, coz what do I do after I achieve?

Today, I’ve a setlist of songs, all waiting to be recorded. Can’t wait to listen them happen.

(Now playing: Feel my love - Vinay Shanthagiri/BlendzZ)

When I listen to a song, a flurry of thoughts get in my head. First the complexity in it, then the expression. When I hear a spectrum of wavelengths of different instruments, the only thing that occurs to me is how much dedication is required and how many hours of practice that artiste would have probably put in to play it to such a degree. At that particular moment, everything, every single thing in life seems bull crap. That is the divinity music has.

Back to some Maiden now, maybe, or, here goes....

(Now playing: Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin)

Ciao!

The end is near :)

2010-12-31T19:58:00.000+05:30

Not to end the year on a pessimistic note, but with the year ending in a few more hours, 4 and a half to be precise, couldn't resist the title :).

All's well that ends well. Sometimes its true, sometimes, its accepted out of desperation, sometimes to assuage oneself. But what the hell, all's still well that ends well.

2010 was eventful. Now that I made that statement, all processors in my mind are busy scurrying to find what all 'events' did happen.

Lemme try going backwards.

Today was exceptionally brilliant, with the above statement really making sense and what a finale to the year! Most importantly, what a superb way to celebrate the year eve. For the first time in my life, today, I entered a studio, a recording studio, had musicians play to my tune, recorded with a fantastic sound engineer, (can't say the best, coz he is the first one I worked with). It was an overwhelming experience. I'm sure more emotions would flow, with other instruments coming in after a few more days. Found myself sitting satisfied after a few runs and few track recordings. I think this, till now has been the best new year eve celebration.
(Its actually easy to 'read back' what happened in the past few months, I must have it all written down ;). But let me resist the urge. Few more paragraphs and I'm done.)

There was the bidding farewell to few of my closest friends in the US, the Graduation Ceremony, the thesis completion, the 'almost just missed' defense, the concerts - AR Rahman and Iron Maiden, the trips - Galveston, San Antonio and South Padre, the first anniversaries of both my Mac and the M-Audio keyboard :D.

It always seems a great deal talking about it, all at once or just summarizing the only 12 months that went by. To live each moment, so that it becomes memorable for the next is what many fail to realise.

Suddenly, its all very humbling.

Let me keep the blog short for now.

I wish all people I know a VERY HAPPY AND EVENTFUL NEW YEAR. Hope the year ushers in new awakenings, new sensibilities and new opportunities. I'm no party animal, will stay indoors tonight, I guess. To all revelers, take care.

Life back home!

2010-11-30T18:01:00.004+05:30

Its been a month. Well, more than a month since I came back.

No A/C. No silent streets. No high speed internet. No constant alcohol parties. But, I don’t feel like a stranger in my own house. Probably the only things I miss now are the internet and a few friends. But nothing life threatening. :)

Friends, more so because of the impromptu discussions that would start without a preamble. Because of the impromptu movies we would start, no matter what time it would be. It was a little similar to hostel life. It was fun.

After months of frustration and practically assuming that there was no point wasting time in waiting for the market to pick up, I took the risk, and came back. I’ve heard from people that its much better here, but I’m yet to experience it. I know its a matter of time.

Only how long ever that takes, gets frustrating with each passing moment. Again, as always, there are two sides to every story. I either wake up everyday and crib about my state or see new things beyond what is apparently seen. Like someone said, (honestly don’t know who) ‘One would reduce his vision if there is a lot on one’s mind’. :)

One misconception I’d was that I could barge into any company and just pester them to give me a job. Apparently, the farthest I can probably get is only till the security, which would do no good. Hell, they shooed me out of the Chemical Department of IISc., asking me to mail them first and then come ‘only when called’ :P.

So, its more or less akin to what I had been doing in the US. The only breather is that there are umpteen people who can be talked to and pestered here and there is a much lesser percentage of people ‘fake-promising’. Atleast, so I hope.

[What coincidence! Now playing: Send me an angel - The scorpions]

Nothin much happening otherwise. Musically, we did jam more than a couple of times. We jammed quite a bit, the only period of lull being the last few days. Got my Creative 4.1 speakers repaired, on which I’d lost hope altogether. God Bless that electrician! Feels out of the world to listen to Maiden on these speakers.

Met almost all my friends, felt nice. Not very nice since most are either getting engaged, in the line to get married, married, or celebrating their wedding anniversaries. :D

The best part has to be the food. Ten days of my coming here, had a friend’s house warming ceremony to attend. That was my first rendezvous with sumptuous food. Another house warming ceremony followed. And just recently, there was a big reunion of sorts during one of my friend’s wedding. About 15 of us, most of whom I got to see after 4 years. Felt great. Glad I didn’t miss it. :)

All in all, I must say it feels great to be back. The driving, the pushing and shoving, the food, the sweets, the people, the noise, the crowd, the weather, the dust, the pollution, everything.

Hope something happens on the job front soon! After all, a person who loses faith really doesn’t have anything more to lose.

Aboard the flight!

2010-10-24T12:42:00.000+05:30

I’ve always wanted to say this. Aboard the LH 441 from Houston to Frankfurt (though it isn’t my aircraft, it sounds nice when read aloud :P), I am doing what I wanted to do from a very long time. The only thing is that this would be published as soon as I get access to internet.

Any other circumstance, any other day, I should’ve been extremely elated about the fact that I’m over the North Atlantic now, about to land in approximately 3 hours at Frankfurt, en route to Bangalore. Not today. I didn’t say I’m not excited, but not as much. For one, there is the anxiety of not finding a job back in the US and going back to India for good. It is anxiety but not repenting on my decision. I was never too keen on staying here in the US for a long term. Just didn’t know how long the ‘short term’ would last for. The second reason why my excitement is getting masked is because I hate bidding goodbyes. Few relations made, have withstood against the test of time and as most of us would have experienced more often than not, few would just obliterate in oblivion.

I’ve never opened my laptop in a flight. Just thought it was clumsy to type in such a small space with so much constraints. Moreover, I didn’t have anything life threatening nor thought provoking to an extent that I make a record of it. Today is however different, though it is neither. Maybe a little of the second one.

No matter how bad the place is, no matter how much I cribbed, no matter how much I expressed disgust, no matter how much I relished just the thought of getting back home, few people just change the short span of time spent with them that all of a sudden, nothing matters anymore.

This happened of course, to a greater extent when I left hostel. 4 years of engineering, 4 years of fun, everything just seemed to go away in a jiffy. Memories are all that remain. I so wish that I’d taken more photos. Now that I look back at the photos that I’ve, I remember more, maybe each single thing associated with each photograph. Maybe that is the beauty of a photograph, maybe that is why its said that it ‘captures the moment’.

The same thing happened when I left India to go do my Masters. Coming to the US in hope of a better life was the only way I assuaged myself. You know, Masters - ‘apparently’ a big deal, then finding a job, making money and the like. Come to think of it, though it all didn’t happen to an extent I’d expected, (the greatest mistake of mankind - Expectation) there were a few people, a few incidents that I’d probably never forget. I was just skimming through my photo albums on my iPod and that is when I realised how important photos are, in anyone’s life. From the trips and shows in 2007, to the various airports I went around, from the first snowfall to the hurricane evacuation adventure, about 4 graduation ceremonies, the first fun trip to San Antonio/South Padre (boy, what a trip!) all the cars I drove, the parties at home and basically all that. Hell, I don’t even know if I’d meet all these wonderful people I’d been associated with, for these 2 years in my life again. Again, there would be few relations which will strongly brave the odds thrown around by time and few will just collapse over time, but it will always remain etched in my memory.

Only qualms were the bed bugs and the cockroaches which I don’t think I’d miss to that an extent. :P

Probably the best statement that I’ve heard in these two years is by one of my room mates, Dhrubo. We would have these engrossed discussions about life, about how people change and stuff, about how things that happen are so unreliable and the like. At an apt juncture, he just said, ‘A person who tries, never fails.’ I can’t forget that. It just came at the right time and was effective enough.

I’ll miss being a part of all those discussions we’d have endlessly, Dhrubo and I initially, till we shifted to another house, when the rest of the gang joined in. It was fun.

Anyways, I still have about 2 hours to land in Frankfurt. Maybe I should be excited, maybe. And boy, someone was right. This is the first time i’m flying Lufthansa, and the legroom sucks. Can’t imagine how someone tall can sit here!

The BitterSweet symphonies of September!

2010-10-01T07:10:00.000+05:30

I'm glad September is almost over in this part of the world. What did poor September did to me? Actually nothing. Frankly, I am not superstitious or anything. I don't believe that there is a lucky pair of clothes or a lucky date as such. That said, Tuesdays and Septembers are always special in their own unique ways. I was born on a Tuesday, and more often than not, out of sheer coincidence, either my final practical exams at college, or the date on which I pay the exam fee or some such important thing would happen on the Tuesday. If I went on Monday, there would be some problem or the other and it would surely work, the next day. Tuesday is still special to me, though I don't initiate any thing consciously on that very day. It just occurred to me now, that the planetary ruler of Scorpio is Mars, and Tuesday is named after Mars.

September. Ever since I was a kid, I simply detested September. For one reason, the freakin' month seemed to take forever to end and wouldn't let October start. I was mighty kicked about my birthday in October but it seems funny now to think so, because my birthday is almost in November :P. The super brain that I'd, failed to notice this. The other thing being that September was the month in which most inactivity was rampant. I'd no friend who had a birthday in September and I didn't know of the birthday of one family member which was in September too. The moment October would start, I'd get all excited. October seems like the best month to me, for obvious reasons.

Only now I repent that I've not had any written account of all Septembers in my life, but I couldn't. I don't think I even knew about blogs till about 6 years back and my first blog entry was probably (had to check) in the OCTOBER of '07. October is such a 'happening' month. It of course reduces one year of my life every time it comes, but I somehow choose to not credit it for that :P.

Just recently, owing to my utter state of joblessness, I went a little back in time to see how the past Septembers were. Turns out that till as back as my memory can go, September has always been Bitter - Sweet. Now, this could've happened in any other month, for that matter of fact, in every month. But I care about beloved September :D.

September 2010. I'm at home in Beaumont, about a month's time after Graduation. The job market hasn't helped me in any way, so far. Sitting at home applying and calling companies all day long hasn't been too helpful either. Most people who've been through this would agree that its at least a little harrowing. With absolute house arrest, socialising, oh, one day, even getting out in the sunlight seemed very strange. That is when I decided to get out every day, at least once. But, on the brighter side of it, September 2010 also had AR Rahman coming down to Houston, giving me an opportunity to see the man himself, live, for the second time. September 2010 also was witness to me taking risk, something I wanted to do, but never mustered enough courage to do so. Situations forced me to. I'm talking about booking a ticket to Bangalore, to go for good. Was that decision Bitter or Sweet? Time will tell.

September 2009. 13th of September '09. One of the things of my big wish list saw light of the day. At 9.30 AM that day, I got my MacBook Pro. One year down and yet, touchwood, it looks new. One of the best things I've ever owned. Also, by then, my now famous dental episode had reached epic proportions and not finding enough options to treat my teeth here, I'd to rush to India for 3 weeks, after stopping eating for about a week or more. On a personal front, this trip was much better than the previous one in July - August. And importantly, I got to meet two old and very good friends that I'd not been able to meet since a very long time. Nani and Harsha. Most friends with whom I'd been going on treks were in Himalayas, and I made sure I met with them too.

September 2008. I was still fresh and new in the US. A month old. We were just back from an evacuation during Gustav. The news next day in the gym showed another hurricane, Ike, which would hit us in about 4 days time. The whole of Texas was asked to evacuate. We were rushed to interior parts of Texas. Houston lost electricity. There was large scale damage everywhere. Notwithstanding the ordeal of staying at a Gym during the evacuation, I flew from there to Phoenix, AZ. Adventures galore during this journey included getting lost trying to find the bus station, traveling to Dallas alone, which was about a 4 hour drive by bus, getting to the airport from deserted downtown of Dallas and spending the night at the airport. It was nice of course, once I reached my cousin's place.

September 2007. I was working at IISc. SIT and IISc have been the best phases of my life, so far. Hope more add on later. On the personal front, September was an emotional upheaval.

September 2006. Fresh after graduating, I was at home, jobless. I'm sure we'd started the band, but can't remember how good we were doing. Maybe, I should say, we were grappling to take a hold of the band, all of us.

That is all I can remember and that is the most I can go back in time. Wanted to have a written account of this so that I can add more to it in the September of 2011. Not that I would forget, but its nice to read it later on.

I'd still say if I probably look at other months too, I can draw something out of it. This 'grudge' against the poor 9th month is probably uncalled for. Who knows, maybe the best things in life later on may happen in the very month of September. Hell, even my birth - day 'Tuesday' could deceive me later on. Only time will tell.

AR RAHMAN!

2010-09-18T14:05:00.000+05:30

Just instantly after typing in the title, I realised I've never written about the person, whose music I've analysed and gone berserk afterward. Anyways, the best time to write something about something very exciting is just after its been completed. So, here I'm, for the first time ever, writing about the concert I'm just back from. First time because I'm documenting it right away, rather than cross referencing it with some later incident.

AR Rahman - Jai Ho, the Journey home tour, 2010. Scheduled to happen on July 3rd got cancelled after the incident in Detroit and was postponed to September. I had bought tickets, the day they started giving tickets, sometime in March. It feels very nice to be back from a concert, of which I'd dreamt of from quite a long time.

Drove about 90 miles to reach Houston, reached pretty early and waited at the entrance, where the gates were supposed to be opened at 7.30 PM. There was one guy whom we (my friends and I) met, who said his daughter was performing. He seemed jovial initially, but later was just a little too much. He said that Rahman wouldn't allow local talent to perform, because they gave a shoddy performance when he had a concert at Oklahoma. I don't know when that was, by the way. He also said the last performances of Rahman were bad, and apparently he felt so bad about it that he didn't want to sit through the whole concert too. His complaint was that they performed a lot of 'South Indian songs'. I said nothing. He went on blabbering that all tickets this time weren't sold and that the tickets in Dallas were even sold for half price or something. I couldn't care less for what he said. He also complained that he was not interested in seeing the show, and he would stay till his daughter would complete her dance, which as it turned out was not very bad, by the way.

The gates opened at around 7.50 PM, we went straight ahead and waited till 8.15 when the dance started. There was a curtain kinda screen right in front of the stage, which was not taken off, even for the dance! It was surprising, but I knew that people would understand better, once the show started. Toyota Center was huge, it seats about 19000 people for a music concert. When the concert started, there were about 1500 people. I was extremely disappointed, while I still told myself that an Indian composer putting such an event by itself deserves a lot of accolades.

Malachi, the boy advertised started running, as if looking for something amidst the audience. The Journey home from Bombay Dreams was interspersed with 'tere paas main aa raha hoon, apni baahein khol de'. Tears welled up my eyes. Just to listen to Rahman's voice was enough for me. It swiftly changed to 'O saya' from the acclaimed Slumdog Millionaire. Interesting new flute bits were heard. It was just explosive. Just as I thought I'd miss Sivamani in this tour, the percussionist proved me wrong.

I didn't keep track of songs. There were about 35 or 40 songs, not very different from what were performed at other venues. I enjoyed the show and I'll just mention the highlights.

The set. The marvelous set. One can't find enough words to describe the way it changed for each song. A 'Mangalyam thantunaanena' had roses all over, 'Holi' had colours splashed, 'Ringa ringa' had flowers and balloons, 'Ganesh' had Ganesh, and most of these were not still imagery projected in high quality. They were all animations, projected. Absolutely delightful!

The 'South Indian' crowd was concentrated in an area not where I was seated and I could hear the biased applause as soon as 'Athiradee' started. I was the only odd man from my section I guess, people hadn't had a clue of these songs. This biased applause went through most part of it, whenever there was a 'O Cheliya' or a 'Kandukondain kandukondain'. I don't blame them. I truly believe in music not having a barrier, but I also empathize the fact that most people understand Hindi, and not Tamil or Telugu. That, by itself would open up a new debate which is not I want to address here.

'Barso re'. Neeti Mohan and Shweta Pandit. The set had rainfall! There was an awesome violinist and barso re changed to a smooth and exciting phase between the violinist, Naveen and the tabla player. The instrumentalists by themselves are of such a high caliber in a Rahman's concert that what they play sounds just right and superlative.

The unplugged versions of numerous songs. The best part was when Hariharan performed a classical thumri, with Rahman on the harmonium and Naveen on the flute. It felt nice because it didn't seem like Rahman, Rahman all over, but India! India! all over. Then the unplugged versions suddenly picked up momentum, with one rhythm maintained, the scales rapidly changed from 'O cheliya', 'Kandukondain', 'Ishq bina', 'Hosanna', 'Hum hain iss pal yahaan', 'Rehna tu', 'Kaadhal aNukan', among what I can remember. This part was just mindblowing. Any other strong word? I don't know.

Tiny bits of various songs were played. Liked this too. Kept me, (I won't talk for the audience) asking for more. 'Dreams on fire', 'Theeyil vizhundha', 'Bhor bhaye', 'Genda phool', MJ's 'Black or white' (surprise surprise) were among this. I didn't quite think 'Black or White' could sound that good with Rahman singing.

As for the man himself, apart from a few lines of Black or White, interspersed with rap and 'Pappu can't dance', he did honours for 'Yeh jo des hai tera', bits of 'Urvasi', 'Dil se', 'Azaadi', 'Jai ho', 'Vande mataram', 'Luka chuppi', in which the Nightingale herself was projected on the screen, with a special video shot, I assume.

'Azaadi' needs special mention. The operatic chorus in the beginning was replaced by orchestration. That was commendable.

Best parts of the concert - 'Bharat hum ko', 'Escape' from Slumdog (wished to have heard more of Asad Khan though) and 'Barso re'. The guitar work in every song was simply great. Singing had its share of ups and downs, but it was a live performance and for me, it entirely did what it was supposed to do. Infuse energy.

Complaints? There were songs like 'Only you', 'Hello Mr. Ethirkatchi' (Neeti Mohan, thumbs up!!), 'Taxi taxi' that I think a handful of the crowd knew about. I still can't understand how someone who loves music can't appreciate good music. I've major complaints about the sound mixing. Rahman's hand held synth made more noise that overshadowed Vijayprakash's otherwise flawless rendition of 'Chaiyya chaiyya'. Vijayprakash, Alphons (why o why wasn't 'AaromaLe' performed!! :( ) and Benny (another super energy performer) were barely heard at times and were too loud at times. I would have just wished there were more experienced people who could have regulated the volumes more effectively. Even lower notes of 'Azaadi' weren't heard very well.

Special mention of Harshdeep Kaur. She put intensity and devotion during Ik onkar, and overshadowed every person on the stage during 'Thayya thayya/Chaiyya chaiyya'. I've never seen a live performer with that voice texture and quality.

Hariharan was the only veteran singer. He did what he was to do, and boy, with what a grace. Experience talks for itself! Nothing more said.

It was a great show. Great energy. The best set that any show can ever get. Great singers. I was glad to see new faces, hear new voices, new styles with all due respect to Rahman's evergreen singers.

To the guitarist, the violinist, all, absolutely all singers, Naveen, Amy Tinkham, all of them who made it happen and The Man himself, RESPECT!

Maiden - June

2010-08-01T03:21:00.004+05:30

Iron Maiden!

I desperately wanted to have a write up of the concert, this stupendous concert that happened on June 11. The desperation, more so because of not having written accounts of any of the 3 concerts that I'd attended till then - AR Rahman, Shankar Mahadevan and The Scorpions, in that order.

I was never a Maiden fan. All I knew is that they had performed in Bangalore twice, (both of which I shamelessly missed), they were from UK and they are all really old. Till I went to the Scorpions' concert in Bangalore, I didn't realise that people who are 60+ can have a great amount of energy.

Anyways, with Maiden, I started listening their songs much later, much much after I started listening to Scorpions. The first songs I had liked was from the album, 'Seventh son of the seventh son'. I really liked the way they linked the songs and had a theme, then moved on to Como estas amigos months, maybe years later. I never fancied them that much, you know.

All hell broke loose when Chetan and I started having discussions about 'Lightning strikes twice'. That went on from song to song and eventually I had a couple of favourites. All through this, strangely, I'd never heard of their entire work. Only after coming to the US, with a little more time devoted to listening music, I got their whole discography and went berserk.

Then, it was 'Flight 666' that made me really know about the band members and worship them. Maiden's songs are one of the highest rated and played on my iTunes. I'm very strict with rating, I must mention. No matter what state of mind I'm in, I listen to those leads of Dave Murray and it makes me cry.

So, when I learnt about their concert in Houston, I didn't want to miss the chance. I'd a fairly decent knowledge about their songs by then, and I knew how a live concert would be like. Just imagining Steve Harris and Dave Murray play gave me goosebumps.

With no much adventures on the way, we reached the venue near Houston at Woodlands. There were quite a bit of people, I must say. Dream Theater started the concert. I'm not a big fan, yet.

When Maiden came on stage, it was exactly the way I'd imagined it to be. Adrian Smith started off the leads of The wicker man, the rest came running in and then it was just explosive. I couldn't believe I was seeing them live. The ambience, the aura, their guitar riffs, Bruce Dickinson's vocals, simply put, everything.

Deftly, they moved from song to song, played most of my favourites - Blood brothers, Ghost of the navigator, Brave new world, Dance of death, Wildest dream, No more lies, Hallowed be thy name and lots more. The only songs I missed were Trooper, Revelations and Rime of the ancient mariner.

But nevertheless, it was like a dream. Listening to someone whom you adore so much, someone whom you worship. I still can't believe I saw them live. I remember, I couldn't hold back tears during Blood brothers and Brave new world. Gosh! It was a once in a lifetime experience. Shame on me for having missed their 2 concerts in Bangalore!

Up the irons! \m/

Time! The Time!

2010-08-01T02:50:00.005+05:30

After nearly the busiest month ever, since I came to the US, I'm all set to officially graduate this summer, in the August of 2010. Don't know why, I don't feel very excited about it. But I'm happy.

Most of my blogs rant and rave about how things were, how things change(d) and destiny. Ok, maybe not most. But if one wanted to read such things, one wouldn't have to search for a long time in my archive.

June was supposed to be the Maiden month, and July, the Rahman month, christened so by me, in anticipation of the concerts that would be held in the months. June happened, the blog should happen soon too, [:D], but unfortunately, Rahman's show got postponed to mid-September.

Time is a very shameless entity, if I may dare to call it so. Like it is said, time changes everything. Time changes priorities, hell, it manages to change people. The kind of change is very debatable, something I don't want to get into in this blog. People fall in and out of relationships and few even state the clichéd 'Time teaches/heals everything'. If its an exam or a thesis defense like the one I just had a couple of days back, people get tensed. If its the same defense in progress and you go on blabbering, the time progresses pretty darn fast. If you are missing someone who's really thousands of miles away, you would feel time progressing very slow.

Thinking about the importance time has in our lives scares me. It is an entity that doesn't stop, no matter what, doesn't give a rats ass to what you feel, scared, lonely or happy. There would be situations which you wouldn't want to end, but time doesn't seem to care. Heartbeats get arrhythmic, every person would have experienced situations where in it would have felt like the heart would come out of the body and bounce away. Still, the second hand goes on at its own pace.

Such a divine creation is wasted, more often than not. Doesn't pain me. I do it all the time too. Only at times it occurs like a flash of brilliant light that reminds me for a few minutes that I need to work hard, that my brain is definitely capable of handling much more pressure than I have given it. Only once, till now, I've crossed that threshold, and it beautifully linked to my body's refusal to cope up with my mind.

All of us invariably end up respecting time, though it sounds a little too 'over the board', maybe? And why wouldn't we, after all its only time that can change the current time.

A trip in TX!

2010-07-01T03:59:00.005+05:30

Whew! Almost made it. I was getting all panicky that my resolution of 'each blog a month' this year would also go down the drain. I can now safely say I've done well for the first half. I mean, I've not had 12 per year and even if I did, doesn't count that way. :)

I had initially planned of writing earlier but considering the number of events that I'd known were supposed to unfold, and that too at a feverish pace, lemme say a cliched excuse. I was busy. :P

First of all, after the not so adventurous canoeing, I was really looking forward to what would be one of the best trips of my life, till now, and boy, was it! Come on, with the right company, even sad places will look awesome, but here, the places were awesome too. Could I ask for more?

One of my very good friends had come down to Houston, for the memorial day weekend and his birthday on the 1st of this month. The trip was more or less planned, to San Antonio and South Padre Island. The very same place that is being pounded by Hurricane Alex as I write this. I hope there wouldn't be much damage to life.

San Antonio, TX.

We headed straight for the amusement park, the much talked about Six Flags Fiesta. Had my first roller coaster ride. Ever. I was almost certain that I'd not get alive out of it, when I recollected what I'd written the previous month. Go with the flow, man! The blistering heat notwithstanding, we took a mutual consensus to dive into the water, that was specially open during the summer. It was bliss.

From here, we headed straight to the downtown, to go see the River walk, photos of which reminded me of Italy (You know, I can't say that. I've never gone there). It was all of what another friend of mine who'd visited told, and more. It was R-O-M-A-N-T-I-C. I missed taking my girlfriend along (I actually can't say this, too). Everything was so serene about the River walk and its history, I ended up being speechless for this part of the day.

The next day wasn't very exciting. We went to see the number 1 tourist spot, The Alamo. I suddenly felt it would be nice to come back to this place, after 20 - 30 years. We rushed out of the museum, (was it one? sorry!) and drove a good 4+ hours to reach South Padre.

South Padre Island/Port Isabel, TX

Maybe not as beautiful as Miami, (again, politically incorrect, I've never been there!) but it was nice. It was a lazy 2 day outing here. Celebrated the birthday, with the birthday boy's selected cake (Its a pain to select for him, he's damned too choosy :P), went around scouting about the island (It really isn't one, though it can be assumed).

Went on a cruise the following day. Now this was awesome fun. A boring and slow ride through the waters of the Atlantic, with one hundred photographs being taken for every 5 minutes or so, it was serene, no doubt about it, but what came later was the fun part.

Trying to spot dolphins, one thing I've always hated, (How would you like if marine organisms came running behind you with menacing machines, just to check you out!) even when we tried doing the same in Palolem, Goa, wasn't that bad after all. Dolphins came pretty close to the boats, but there was no expected jumps. It was exciting to see them. The 'captain' was radioed and told that deeper into the gulf, there were dolphins spotted. He pushed the boat's speed limits and now transformed the ride into what could be called a cruise. The birds, the water, the waves crashing against the nose of the boat and water spurting inside, it was just awesome. No, maybe beyond that.

After the nearly 2 hour cruise, we decided to go to the beach. I have this thing for water, maybe most people have. Its such a nice feeling just to stay there and hear water roaring and rumbling, to get drenched in that God's eternal creation, to not think of anything, to not worry about anything, the flow that I've already talked about twice, now.

We were smart enough to not carry spare clothes or towels even. Its fun, unplanned. Result? We had to sit half naked in the car, till we reached the motel back in Port Isabel. We cleaned ourselves of the salty water and then headed to the jacuzzi in the motel, right outside.

The next day was reserved for returning, a 7 hour drive, back to Beaumont. I hated getting back, just like any other trip, but what I would hate earlier was to get back to routine. What I hated more now was Beaumont was a totally crappy place. Sorry, still is. Earlier, after a trip, at the least I got to enjoy decent facilities, in an insect free environment.

Everything about this trip was just awesome. The drive, the lonely roads, the scenic beauty, the ride - a Chrysler 300, (one helluva car, I must say), awesome company - 5 of us in all, more or less similar temperament.

There were 2 drivers, and whatever I drove was the most I'd ever driven. Felt nice. 'Wish it wouldn't end so soon', again a cliched term after every fantabulous trip. But I'm happy all of us felt the same way. With everything in life, rather, everything good in life, one should feel that it would last a little longer. That is when you know how good it was.

And about the other events, it'd be sheer injustice for those events if I did say a line about them. So, you can expect them to be blogged shortly.

Anxiety or Premonition??

2010-05-26T06:28:00.002+05:30

Its been close to 2 years since I arrived here in the US. I missed out on going to trips after coming here. Not that I was going out constantly when in India, but it is only after a while that I really started loving all the impromptu trips with friends. When you change location, it takes time, (not always) to make new friends of the same frequency and go on similar trips (not always, again).

I missed out on one such rare opportunity, when my room mates had gone to Louisiana, maybe a long time back. I'd to stay back and work at the lab, and stayed alone at home for those dreadful 3 days. It was very exciting, with nothing to do but stare at blank walls and entertain a stranger who came knocking at the door one night, asking for money, because her 'son wasn't keeping too well'. She surely isn't creative, her son would keep getting ill every 15 days or so then.

Over a period of time, the excitement of going to a trip, seeing a new place, getting to know people better all faded away. So when my lab mate just recently asked me if I would go along with them for a canoeing adventure, I was excited, happy and overwhelmed. Moreover, there would be 10 people going along. The more, the merrier. I was happy.

Then it started, crashed on me. Realisation, not water. :P

I don't know swimming. Not even enough to save myself. I've tried, but I must say, not enough. One of my friends had recently gone canoeing and had nearly drowned. People from Lamar had gone canoeing and I think one or two people who went, never came back. They got carried away in the current whilst their friends were busy rescuing a person who had almost drowned.

[This blog is obviously not exciting for readers as I'm here, typing away]

All sorts of thoughts came onto me that day. We were supposed to leave the next day. I'd drown. How would people send my body home, how everyone would be in trauma, how that sense of not being able to do what I wanted to do will always [is haunt the word?] me, what would happen to my precious belongings here, what if my phone also drowned, would I be out of reach forever and just go 'missing'. It didn't end.

I stopped walking, took a deep breath and smiled. Things that have to happen, happen no matter what. No point cribbing over them. What if tomorrow is indeed the last day, what would I do is what I questioned myself. Again a flurry of thoughts. Shit, I'd to talk to one hundred people, I'd to play the keyboard, I'd to do this, do that and do everything. EVERYTHING. I smiled again. Go with the flow man!

Another realisation. How would the mentality of a person who knew he was dying indeed, from some disease, a la filmy style, be in such moments? Would he have given up on life or would he be enjoying? I couldn't see myself anywhere. :D

That night, I slept for 5 hours. People who know me know that its not uncommon. What else happened was that I'd dreams that I was 'trapped' in a canoe with water waves as high as 70 - 80 feet crashing on the canoe, taking both the canoe and me down. I woke up with a jolt. Shut up and sleep.

The next morning, one of my friends had a dream about drowning too. I was smiling my nervous smile by then. Didn't know how to react.

Then the time finally came. You won't believe it, but I took a phone index, checked that I'd not written my name for identification, wrote it, and took all my ID cards, that I never take while on trips. We reached the place, the nervous feeling reducing already. I almost laughed at myself when I saw the water. It was almost still and looked very calm.

As we started canoeing, all the fear went away, so much that I removed my life jacket and put it aside, knowing fully well that the water was deep at times. Though the company was good, the surroundings were good, [it was a narrow stream flowing in the middle of a forest], no current in water was the damp squib. Sometimes it was the haphazard wind, sometimes the opposite current. Nothing life threatening. For most of the initial 2 hours, I'd taken the lead for the exhausting 3 hour 'almost boating' adventure. I just wished I'd my girlfriend along. It'd have been romantic.

The call of the destiny

2010-04-27T08:13:00.004+05:30

I firmly believe that God exists. I won't be foolish about the fact, I'd also say that an anti-God exists. When I say this, and when I regard God as the creator of practically everything in and out of the world (read earth), the creator of the anti-God too, it makes me think that why God would do such a thing. Then I soothe myself saying that its just that there exists a 'good' entity and something equally negative in energy, that we have come to call by various names over time.

People, the lame people, us, of course if you believe that you are in the world for some reason, and have been put here by an entity, would agree with me, that when you were created, it'd not be tough for that entity to create a path for you in life. The path is all created, one not being able to see it or not is again, a different thing. Say, you'd be destined to become a painter in your life, you realise that you are good with the brush after doing PhD. Stupid, I know, but its hypothetical, or come to think of it, quite rarely possible too. You get this urge to put everything you did all this long, and curse yourself for not recognising the hidden potency in your own self. You'll get conflicting thoughts that would put a Gemini to shame. More so, when you've a family to support and you are the only source of income. Do you think you can paint your way to earn bread? Agreed that you'd be happier doing what you wanna do, but such things look good on paper. Is this God's way of telling that, 'See, I gave you a path, but my negative counterpart asked you to not go there, I can't do anything', so, is God an entity that gives you good and bad both at the most vulnerable times?

There would be this section of people not agreeing with me by now, and shaking their heads in reluctance. Such people would like to tell, that they create their own destiny. I'd say, its just that these people realise early in life what they can do, have a clear view of how it'd shape up later on in life. Now, again, does that mean that they are entering a new area and creating a destiny for themselves or did they just go into their 'pre destined path' and bragging about it big time, just because they beat others to it?

I don't know. Its complicated. All I believe is that, the light is already glowing in one path, and it'd take 359 or lesser angles to probably see it and identify it with one self. :)

The fascinations, their extents

2010-03-30T06:57:00.006+05:30

Since I can remember, I've been totally fascinated by the universe. It surprises me that I've never made a written account of it. Well, almost, I should say.

The earliest memory was the Haley's comet we studied at school, and the hoopla about a meteor shower, that was not visible, and the Hale Bopp comet. Eclipses never fascinated me. They intrigued me.

That interest also encompasses the global warming phenomenon and the existence of life on earth. I know it is like writing about 3 different parts of science. But, I'm quite sure my audience isn't that specific.

I used to make these reports when back in school, on things that fascinated me, and called them "PROJECTS". The universe was my biggest project ever, that I eventually lost out to careless formatting. I was heartbroken.

Just recently, I read a book (after a long gap) about how stuff formed on earth, how things happened, how we evolved. I loved it. Venkat, suggested I see 'The universe' that was aired on the History channel. I never watched that channel. But yeah, I did download it and was dumbstruck.

It is not that the super visuals/animations made me gape at it. It sure did, but my complex mind had one hundred things going on. Ever since I had been thinking about how things are in space, as strange as it may sound, I never felt the need for wanting to know if life existed beyond earth. Maybe I'd learned to be self sufficient or something, I don't know. But it never even came as a fleeting thought. As I read more into it, I was awed by the way scientists made calculations and arrived at conclusions about planets, stars, et al. That was THE thing for me. Without advanced telescopes, if they could do this, imagine what their grey matter was made of!

Finding out more about planets, to an extent is fine by me. I mean, its interesting for sure to know where we live, what surrounds us and how safe we're. We do it after moving into a new colony, so, there is nothing wrong in that. After seeing a few of the episodes of 'The universe', I realised, we are living in a dangerous zone. A totally unpredictable one at that. One solar flare, one solar wind or one asteroid flung by Jupiter's magnetic field, or just about anything could happen as I write this. And we worry about petty things in life. :)

My first reaction was, 'Oh shit, what if an asteroid struck in 5 days?', very typical of me. Then I realised that the life on earth isn't a very different situation. Call it God's loop of life and death. The existence of earth or life on it is totally left to the discretion of an entity that created it. It started to fascinate me all over again.

As I said, to an extent, all this is good. But yeah, its a perspective. Its probably defined differently by people who are in various fields. Sending satellites up in space - reason? Selfish needs, by the whole of mankind that has reached proportions that has made us impossible to survive without phones or internet. What happens to satellites after they die? Space pollution. Not a different situation on earth, is it? We polluted earth enough that we now pollute outside it. It pains me when people and organisations talk about 'searching for water on Europa, or Mars' and spend billions of dollars for that. It seems very unwarranted for, to me.

I agree and understand that humans are afraid to die. We don't want to die, ever. Wish it were that easy. Wish it were in our hands. When the whole thing is so damned unpredictable, I wonder how people come up with ideas of 'going to another planet, in case the earth gets sucked up by the sun', or, funnier, 'how to send a missile from earth to deflect an asteroid from hitting the earth'. For all you know, when you are going from Earth to either Mars or elsewhere 40 years later, if the time is yours, an asteroid may come hurling toward your spacecraft. :)

Its nature, time and God, either one of them or all 3 put together that governs every being's existence. Things were meant to happen this way. Bacteria was supposed to form, I was supposed to be born, people who are dead, were supposed to be dead, I was supposed to write this blog, and it goes on. There is a course that has already been devised for each one of us. We could use the money being spent on sending a robot to Europa to clear half of the world's slums. I wish the place we've been given to stay is made better, rather than giving up hope and exploring other lands to live. It is, in all possibility, a better option.

But yeah, many people wouldn't agree with me. They would feel all this is a possibility, we could evade cataclysm and the likes. It is a never ending debate. We are selfish. 1 in 100 would donate money of their own to benefit a third, unknown person. The minute one has more money, he would wanna buy a costlier car and a bigger house. Similarly, people have money, they wanna send robots in space and find another place to turn it into a living hell. Next, they'll want to send some organisms to see if they can mate in space and make a new, hybrid organism. Gosh, its never ending. But, nevertheless, its very interesting. :)

The Best is yet to come, They say

2010-02-25T23:35:00.006+05:30

The Best is yet to come.

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Smile, It could be worse.

A few lines of inspiration, if you may say so.

All of a sudden, I went blank. What I'd been wanting to write since yesterday appears lost in the complicated twists in my head. Of course, I'd a topic today morning, but almost the whole of yesterday I managed to control my urge to just write and ending it up shabbily.

There is a link I HAVE to post in this blog. Considering the number of times I've done this (count that zero) it must have really meant something to me.

Here's the link: http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

When I read this, I thought about the guy who wrote screenplay for 3 Idiots and especially the line 'Kaabil ban, kamyaabi jhak marke peeche aayegi' [Roughly translates into, Never run behind success, make yourself success-worthy first, and then you'll succeed]. Maybe he could have done a lot more in life, maybe he is, maybe the best is yet to come.

I'm sure all of us, sometime or the other in life, would have lamented about a day, an hour, or a week at work, or otherwise that the period has been the worst. What's worse, during that unfortunate phase, we'd get something more, that is worse than what we thought was worse. It takes you to that point of hopelessness that makes you wonder if what you are doing was 'designed' for you at all.

Its totally on the person involved, if he could take it up as a challenge and say, 'Bring it on, mate, you ain't seen nothin' yet.' But really, practically, one can't be so ideal at all times. We are prone to all this, I'd say, we're humans you know, [not considering the fact that my mind is complicated one teeny weeny bit].

Life's simple, I have told myself many times, it is in fact, what one makes it to be. Its worked for me till now, and it will, in future too. But when we are distressed with trivial matters, that surely don't seem trivial to us, I think about that entity because of whom all this is happening. Call it divine, call it time, I don't give a damn. But when there is something happening, someone is making it. There is no magic in that.

How would it look from the outside if it were to be seen? A distressed person, having all the goods in life, worried to death about some trivial matter, nothing life threatening, when there are a number of people striving hard to live, to eat, to lead a normal life. Such is the irony of the world. A person may forgo his lunch so that 2 of his small kids may eat, and one guy may strive hard to buy a Lamborghini. Priorities are so different.

2 of my very good friends helped me edit an idea, that would become a song later on. Its all about life. I learnt a lot from that song. The meaning of the song is so simple, if someone asks me what it is, I can just say 'Its about life' in a single line, just like that.

The bottom line is, as someone coined, It could be worse. Smile. Live for the moment.

New year!

2010-01-01T13:51:00.004+05:30

Though I may have rushed to type this blog in the midnight, still counts as 'written' in January and there is thus, a void created for December 09. But first things first,

Wish you all a very happy New Year!

Frankly, for me, 2009 was a swift breeze. I can't even remember chronologically the things that have happened. Only now when I look back, I realise that time has flown past.

The great things I can remember would surely be the third anniversary of the band in June, my 2 India trips, one by choice and the other by force, the much talked about (by ourselves, duh!) jamming session of the band after a looong time, the Macbook phenomenon.

It just feels like having done all of this very recently. Only, the recently happens to be more than just 'recent'.

On the personal front, things saw a giant upheaval at times, in my usual steady and strong course of life. I've to be very careful with this in blogs. Blogs are like a public diary, you choose how much you want the other person to read. :P

Nothing much's changed apart from that. Absolutely nothing. Maybe a few perspectives. Maybe.

This new year didn't have all that 'NEW YEAR!!'ish excitement. Not that I'm a party animal and I was deprived of my party this year or anything. Come to think of it, the past few new years have just been calm. The last year was an exception again, I was in the same club I was, a few hours back, but it was fun. or maybe, I thought it was. The year before that, 4 colleagues from IISc had gone to see the disastrous 'Om Shanti Om'. I hadn't even laughed during the course of the movie. It was torture. A brutal one at that. As far as I can recollect the years before that, I'd never 'partied till I dropped' or involved in binge drinking. It would be a quiet night at home, thinking each time the new year went by, that I should have done something exciting for celebrating the New year. The fact that I'd recount to, many years later on this day.

I've had a problem with communicating with a large group of people. There was a phase in my life when I'd feel insecure of myself. Things changed, albeit slowly, during due course of time. I could talk to large groups of people. That was never a problem again. But perspectives are something that rarely change with time. Atleast with mine, they are surely true. Call me rigid, or stubborn or not wanting to change, the truth remains as it is!

[Going a lil' philosophical, I need soothing music now.....

I choose 'En swaasa kaatrae']

Ok, now why the crap about how I was? The fun I thought we'd last time dancing away to the countdown, doesn't seem that fun after all. I'd rather celebrate a quiet New Year's, watching fireworks, (oh no, that would make me think about pollution), hanging out with friends, with lots of people talking non stop, or a romantic getaway, talking about how the year was.

That is the way I'd prefer my new year celebration. A little noise is ok for me. Not a club in godforsaken Beaumont, with racism so rampant, that even music starts sounding repetitive and banal after a while. I was yawning! :D

In fact, after a while, it was depressing to see couples kissing so passionately. The few things I learnt today were,

1. Especially when you don't enjoy dancing that much, make sure you've a good female company to go and dance. Being in love with her is a bonus. :-D

2. The cause of racism is the way we have conducted ourselves by being outrightly desperate for some 'attention'. I could say it in one word - DISGUSTING.

[Song changed to 'Yenna solla pogirai'.. awesome melody]

As much ironical it may sound, I missed my friends big time today. Ironical, coz I've never spent new years with my best friends.

All said and done, I realise that I slightly contradict myself here from what I started initially. When I said new year was just another day this time around, there is no question of missing something that has never happened. Maybe it is just a feeling of wanting to do something, and regretting for not doing it.

This is me, The complication personified. ;-)

Anyways, I know I've not made much sense. The bottom line is, its a new year again - 2010, and I hope that all people get the best and their best out of this year.

A very happy new year to all of you again.

Homeland beckonED ;)

2009-11-30T07:09:00.003+05:30

When I made sure there was a reference to teeth in my previous blog, it wasn't for nothing. Barely 3 months after I came to the US, for some strange reason, I'd to make a quick visit again.

Initially what seemed a pain that would subside, my toothache reached inexorable proportions. Thankfully, the pain that was, was only when I ate. Solution? I stopped eating. :)

The filling that I'd gotten done in Bangalore the last time, came off, and the crown I'd on one of my teeth came off barely after a week after it was fixed. Yes, it was God's way of telling that I am getting old, maybe. ;)

Finding no other way out of this, after finding out that its really a pain, much greater than my toothache to wait for dentists and get my teeth checked here in the US, I realised after much dilly-dallying that the best option was to fly back and get it done. The dentist whom I saw here, said that I'd gone to see him at the apt moment. Any later, the cavity, void of its filling now, could complicate further, requiring a root canal treatment. But, he thought it was wise to postpone the filling by a week. I was required to go and check with him if they did fillings, the next week. The exact day when I landed in India.

I'd heard the treatment in US was expensive. What I'd not heard was that the treatment and the way you are looked at, is pathetic. Without much option, I booked my flight tickets. Thankfully, the permissions in the department was given. The international office worked at a painfully slow pace, and I literally sat down on their necks to get my I-20 back, with a travel endorsement. Not to mention the surprise looks on each and every person's face and the dubious looks. As if I were mad to fly back 6000 miles, just for fun, in the middle of the semester.

It seemed like a plan to go to Tumkur. 3 days after I decided to leave, I was sitting in the flight. With my teeth in that condition, food on the flight was a major major problem. But I managed, somehow.

I flew Emirates, over Dubai. Reached Bangalore at 3 AM. Didn't take the taxi in the counter, coz it was way too expensive, the last time. I went further ahead, there was a guy who offered a taxi, and showed me a card, which clearly looked 'self made'. With not much choice, and no other taxis visible, I'd to board this. He came with another guy (!!) and either of them didn't speak much. It was around 3.30 AM, and for those who know the route from BIA to Malleswaram, it was lonely, for sure. I realised that anything could happen after I neared Hebbal. I asked the drivers for a phone, thinking I'll make a quick call home and tell I'm almost there. When he said he didn't have a phone, I felt like slapping my head for making it obvious that I too, didn't have one.

Anyways, he dropped me, safe and sound. I was worried for my MAC, if not for anything :P

That day's and the subsequent visits to the dentist revealed that there were quite a lot of complications than just a filling and the absence of a crown. My wisdom was overflowing, and not finding enough place in my head, had overflown to my teeth. Unfortunately, it was crooked, and I'd to get it removed by surgery. There were 3 more fillings on the upper jaw, that obviously I couldn't see.

With the teeth taken care of, at the earliest, I was able to slowly start eating things. Yes, I looked emaciated completely. Within two weeks of not being able to eat anything here in the US, I'd lost 6 kilos. I've lost count of the number of people who wanted toothache on listening to my saga. I only wished no one would go through this ordeal.

This 'emergency' 'short' trip to India of 21 days, was better than my first for various reasons, and worse for a few reasons.

I could meet my parents again, most of my friends again. The best part was probably being able to meet 2 friends, whom I'd not met in a long time, in the order of years. Felt nice. The minute my swelling went down, I started running here and there.

The sad part was, another trip got cancelled (again) . It was planned for 3 days to Pondicherry this time. Viral fever caused this.

But the hopeless part of this trip will always remain the 'Almost Just Missed' trip to Himalayas. The gang with whom fun was redefined, with whom impromptu trips were planned and executed left to Himalayas the day I landed in Bangalore. I'd even given a thought to go to Delhi directly from here, and then to Bangalore. I was just waiting for an assertive answer from any person I would meet next. That happened to be a "NO" and I realised it was for the good of the people going there too. I mean, no one would want to hear complaints of not being able to eat anything, for 2 weeks. Plus, my treatment could be at stake (considering that I'd to undergo 2 minor surgeries). It was too tempting. HIMALAYAS! FRIENDS! Couldn't help it. I thought of leaving later than I thought from India so that I could atleast meet them once they return. That happened in the last few days of my stay there. Result? I met them after an everyday planning, for 2 days, for extremely short durations. But I guess, without the toothache, even that wouldn't have been possible.

Thanks to the toothache, we could squeeze in a jammin session of BlendzZ, on the guitarist's birthday.

All said and done, the teeth seem to have responded well, and I'm still trying to make up for the lost weight.

For a reason? You bet!

2009-10-29T10:13:00.004+05:30

There is a very old saying in Kannada that says, 'Hall idhdhounige kadle illa, kadle sigounige hall illa'. It roughly translates to - 'A person wanting to eat nuts wouldn't have teeth for it whereas a person having teeth wouldn't wanna eat some'.

Its a situation, I'd say, mankind has been trying to grapple with ever since.... ever since when?

I'm very sure that each one of us, could definitely live a better life. I don't mean by standard or class or luxury, but by the way of thinking. Had this not been such an important aspect in our lives - the part of not being happy having what we have, we'd have not been living like this today.

A guy with a girlfriend would definitely tell people around him that a life without one is so much fun. It is not always true, with him or the other person. The other person would always want to have a girlfriend, and he simply cannot have one. (He may have many, it doesn't count!)

Problems galore. The easiest way to escape from problems. Few of us get involved in a few things that we shouldn't have been involved in and later attribute that to some invisible force that has created such a situation which has tightened its noose around the neck of the.... Man! Its just us! We create problems, we don't have, atleast, all or most of us do NOT have the expertise to get out of it. It is sad, but true.

As I type this, I remember another saying that said 'The grass is greener on the other side'. Now I realise how true these sayings are.

A person whom we don't know could sometimes teach us so much. I wouldn't have written this blog if not for an incident that happened today. I was waiting for my lab-mates at another lab, not mine, and this guy working at the lab called me in. We'd met earlier, but today, we discussed about work. What his work involves and the like. Frankly, I was disheartened because the work he did interested me and had I known before about the project, I probably could have done that. I was complaining about not having work, and how it feels to work, go to a lab, manage schedules just because you have work and so on. He was looking for something all the while. Finally, he said, "See, my work is so difficult because I don't find the apparatus I'm looking for right away. I've to search so much for it."!!

My argument was that he atleast has something to search for. :P

But what I understood from this is that we don't grip ourselves with what we're or what we've. What others do, what others have fancy us. As I was sitting in his lab, I wished I were there everyday and had that much work. Then another thought crossed my mind. I'd have probably wished for a day off from work then. Not having work would have looked greener then.

I don't know if I need to say that its a sick feeling people are incorporating into themselves when they could be happy, because if people don't feel jealousy, anger or frustration, I'd not classify them humans. Now, the extent of positivity in these feelings is an individual thing.

It was a lesson to myself. More so, an experience. I'd never expected him to say that. Had he told me that it was ok, and that is how it is, I'd not have learnt anything. His way of telling that the apparatus he was looking for was not available right then and that, he felt was a very difficult thing made me just smile and realise how foolish we really are.

We have every single thing in our own hands, but we don't look in the right direction.

The journey home, is never too long!

2009-08-28T21:47:00.006+05:30

A not so famous song by the double Oscar winner AR Rahman, from the broadway musical, the Bombay Dreams. Its a good song.

Very true, though. After hopping around in Chicago, Frankfurt and Dubai, I was exhausted, nevertheless, but that excitement was still alive when I reached Bangalore and I rejuvenated myself as soon as I landed. Hell, I wasn't even jet lagged. Well, I wasn't jet lagged when I landed back too [:P]

For REGULAR followers of my blog, you should know what I'm talking about, for the rest, Duh! Look up the previous blog. Its just that I couldn't or should I say didn't write about how my trip was, till I realised that I was about to break my resolution of wanting to write a blog in at least each of the remainder months. :D

I landed in Bangalore, from Dubai. We entered through the west coast of India, obviously.The moment the plane was in Indian airspace, I didn't feel emotional, neither did I hear 'Yeh jo des hai tera'. I guess I was too engrossed in my novel. But, it sure was a great feeling to see that unmistakable gulf of khambat and the gulf of kutch on the screen. I smiled. INDIA.

There was a small, essential (I thought, few of them didn't) swine flu test as soon as I landed, and one person was not co-operating well enough. Maybe he was a big shot. (As if they can't get swine flu :P) The tests done, I came out of the airport, with my luggages not screened for what they'd have in them. There it was. Fresh Air! (I hate A/C by the way). There was something else familiar. Noise. Horns. I smiled, again.

A taxi guy came up to me, took me to his office as soon as I came out, finished the formalities with the lady there, (which seemed to take a long time, no complaints! ;)) while I just stood there recognising the familiar cars, whizzing past, without caring for the pedestrians. It didn't look scary to me, considering that it is totally opposite here, somehow, it really didn't look scary.

The cab drivers were in some confusion and were adding to the already haphazard arrangement. They were abusing a driver who hadn't come back with a BIG car. They looked at me twice thinking that I wouldn't understand Kannada, (nothing new) but all this made it seem so pleasant to me, that I smiled again. :)

There was a similar system of a checkpoint that we have at the university here. You swipe a card and it opens up. Unfortunately, there was some problem, (No complaints, again :)) and after 5 minutes, a guy walks up to it, lifts the bar off from both sides of the checkpost and lets us pass. I didn't find it hilarious, I didn't find it a lapse in security, I thought how would have they dealt with this in US!

Anyways, I reached home, after around an hour of landing, and it was very soothing to hear the cacophony around, rather than sitting grim in an A/C car.

The one thing that struck me the most about Bangalore and my home was that, the climate was so pleasant. It felt like a natural A/C. So cool and pleasant. Spoke with a few friends of mine, a few relatives, all felt good. It was home for God's sake! HOME! :) :)

To get into an everyday detailing into what I did would be a little too much. :P The first few minutes of driving, I was a little apprehensive, but then, it was all normal. Met (almost) all my friends, my ex and current bandmates, two of us even jammed for a few minutes, and both of us were so happy that the equation still remained the same. Watched a couple of movies here and there, went to the malls a few times, everything seemed good. The only thing I was feeling weird was that I was on vacation, in a place that I have lived most of my life.

Met my colleagues at IISc, met my professors, it was all a feeling that I was here, I did this, I had gone here and there. I don't know how to put it in words, in any language.

Probably the biggest blunder that happened, and was not committed was the missing out of the trip(s) that were planned. One trip was not confirmed, and it struck to the both of us that there isn't much time, the day before I left. ;) The other trip, with the big group that I'd been going around when in Bangalore, was cancelled purely because of me. What I could see then was that it'd be very hectic for me to come back and leave. What I couldn't see was that it'd easily take an year or more of waiting on both sides to merely see each other, forget a trip. A realisation, that occured to me, much later, on landing here.

Anyways, all that happens is for a reason, and is for the good. The short trip to home. A trip of 26 days. Even if I'd stayed for a coupla months, I guess I'd have felt the same.

As for the "changes" that many people try to look at and compare between the two places, I'd plainly say, after an year in the US, or should I say, after an year of stay in the clean, pollution free, efficient, 'dream-realising' US, I'd rather prefer to stay in a place that has pollution, mismanaged traffic, bad roads, smelly food, commotion, friends and family. Home is just HOME.

Oh main nikla, gaddi leke...

2009-07-10T07:28:00.011+05:30

There! My resolution of having to write atleast one blog per month went down the drain. I'm happy that it went down with something good that I did, rather than the usual laziness, which seldom happens to me. :) I kinda decided to make up for the unwritten blog. But plans are meant not to work, right? ;)

I know I write really long blogs. Fortunately, for me, I don't have to compete in a 'short note writing' competition. I'd have failed, miserably, time and again. Social issues, my perception of people's perceptions, movie references, traveling, hurricanes, people who influenced me, have formed the various topics of my blogging. With the hurricane season fast approaching, lets see how many blogs I'd have to dedicate for them alone, or, lets see if I'd be able to write on hurricanes, at all :P

June!

The mid month of the year, the birth month of one of my oldest friends, and the month in which probably one of the greatest things in life has ever happened to me - the anniversary of the band, which quickly stepped into its 4th year of formation. But the June of 2009 was special in other ways. The reason for which I and quite a few people close to me were waiting since the early February - my going to India after almost an year of being in the US.

Now to talk about how I found Bangalore after an year would be an extremely long blog. So, very wisely, considering the plight my blog readers will have to endure each time they click on the link and gasping to see how small the scroll bar would be, I decided I'll write about the journey in the first part, and follow it up with a sequel of how I felt things were back home. Gosh! I'm getting wiser with each passing day!

June 10th.

The day I'd been waiting for, with bated breath, since the past 4 months. Quite an adventure happened, I must say. My flight was in the late afternoon (Indian Standards) or early evening (US Standards). Ok, it was at 1530 hours. I'd to get to Houston, the nearest big city to board my flight to Chicago. Houston is about an hour's drive from my place. My room mate, very willingly (probably to whisk me off for a month's time, not withstanding my vocal torture) agreed to drop me off. About 45 minutes into the drive (Oh! Driving in the US is such a big bore), the windows failed to open down, the sun roof failed to engage, disappointing my room mate and another friend, (who had a flight to Newark an hour earlier than mine) who wanted to have a smoke. We decided to stop the car while the both of them could have a smoke and then resume the remainder of the journey of around 30 minutes. The car stopped, no doubt, the cigarettes were lit and the short break of 5 minutes turned to be a tensed break which would last for around 30 minutes later on. The car did start, but the gear refused to budge. It just wouldn't move from P for Parking to D4 for Drive 4. Not quite shocking, since, apparently, it'd happened earlier. The shock started growing intense when the situation remained the same after 10 minutes. My room mate, being a mechanical engineer, started using brute mechanical force for the poor automatic transmission. It just wouldn't budge. The clock was ticking away.

We called up our other room mate, who was busy, (which is why he wasn't keen on whisking me off) for help. Numerous combinations and pressures of applying the brakes while struggling with the gear shaft provided little result. The other room mate at home was left with no other choice but to get another car and pick us up from there and drop us off at Houston. There are no autos here and people just go past, without bothering what is happening. So much for thinking that Americans are very helpful. I'd not say otherwise, I'd say, it was just not our day.

The back up car, dashed its way through the freeway, and was exactly at the location we were stranded in, in remarkable time. We transfered the baggages and hopped on to it. As for the poor car that had broken down, it seemed to respond to touch, for it responded as soon as my other room mate put his hand on it. Anyways, we reached the airport, just in time. I checked in my luggage all the way till Bangalore, with not having to worry about it wherever I stopped. Oh yes, I'd to stop at quite a few places. ;)

Chicago was the first. A 2 and a half hour flight journey from Houston. I gained some knowledge from my suavely dressed and groomed co-passenger, Angie, that flights from Chicago are bound to get delayed, courtesy - rain. The flight landed, and I had to run around quite a bit. The airport is huge! I had a transit of an hour and a half which was worrying me, but didn't affect much. The flight out of Chicago's O'hare International Airport was right on time and I was on it, heading toward central Europe, one of the oldest airports that has seen the World War 2, Frankfurt International Airport, Germany.

The 8-something hour journey was not very strenuous. Come on, I was going home. Nothing could be taxing! I'd a German young girl for company. The carrier, American Airlines was nothing impressive. It was a tad more luxurious than a local flight in the US. No screens on indivudual seats, impatient and rude stewardesses all characterised this journey. I'd not say racist, not yet. The food was ok. I'd asked for vegetarian food, and I got it.

Frankfurt was one of the very big airports I've ever been to. I knew it is old. But I didn't expect it to be that huge. I had to kill 4 hours of time in this airport. Cursing myself for not having space in my carry on baggage, I was able to buy some vodka chocolates, leaving the other tempting ones behind.

I was looking forward to the next stretch of journey toward home. Mostly because I was switching carriers at Frankfurt and travelling by an airline that has earned the reputation of being very good. Fly Emirates.

The moment I finished my security check and boarded the Emirates flight, I could only keep my mouth wide open at the luxuriously appealing flight interiors. It was too much, more like pampering its guests. It took half an hour for me to close my mouth. The economy class in Emirates seemed like first class in other airliners. I was expecting some good company this time, but alas, when you expect things, the opposite happen. Humans don't seem to realise this simple law of nature. Anyways, I was alone, with probably 5 of us occupying the row in which I was seating, a row that had 3-5-3 seats! This aircraft was wide! WIDE!

I reached Dubai, (have forgotten the flight duration) and for the first time, I got down the flight from stairs. There was no aerobridge and my guess was, there was no FREE aerobridge. :P I felt like a VIP in those days when they would wave at fans and get down the stairs. Only, I was just a P, and there were no fans. Of course, I didn't wave! You take me for a fool? :P

Having travelled and probably more because of being in the US for a while, it was quite common to give way to the people walking by, stop for them to cross you, say 'excuse me' and smile at times. The moment I was in Dubai, I failed to realise that I was getting close to Indian border. I was expecting a huge airport, modern facilites and awesome ambience. What did I tell earlier? Humans fail to learn from their mistakes. The facilities of the airport, whatever modern it was, was plainly masked by the unruly and impatient crowd. Hell, I even saw quite a few firangis jostling their way through the crowd and going full steam ahead like all hell had broken loose. It took me 5 minutes to come to terms with this. Stench and filth masked whatever ambience the airport was built to provide.

The world tour and hopping at each major airport had left me exhausted by then. Dubai is a favourite and famous shopping destination. It's been that for quite sometime now. My legs failed to respond to my brain and there I sat idle, for 2 hours, waiting for the flight to Bangalore.

This international journey was probably the smallest in this course, but seemed the longest. Bangalore was a 4 hour journey from Dubai, and the time was well kept up by the captain. Brilliant crew, courteous stewards/stewardesses, awesome ambience. Emirates was a nice experience. I reached Bangalore on the morning of 12th June.

Almost 28 days later, with no sense of excitement to leave home, whatsover (obviously), I'd to leave, to complete an year more of coursework. My flight was at 1730 hours on the 7th of July. It was by chance that I wore a bright red shirt that day, to fly in Kingfisher Airlines, (whose crew wear red) to Delhi, one of the best, no, probably the best domestic airline ever. I wouldn't say that confidently, because, this flight remains the only domestic flight I've ever flown in India. Needless to say, I was super impressed. Let alone the reasons for which Kingfisher is popular, they had TV screens behind the headrest of each seat, the first class passengers had a blanket for themselves, and pav bhaji was served for all! I agree, the choice of channels on the TV wasn't all that great. But it'd quite a few channels - one each for news, movie, music and some 'comedy time'. It served the purpose. I was pleasantly shocked. The choice of cutlery, videos for safety vests, all these on a domestic flight!! Hell, it wasn't even there on the 3 domestic flights I've flown in the US! I felt happy that Vijay Mallya was taking Indian Aviation to the next level :)

If the arrival to Bangalore was a world tour, the departure was a baggage adventure tour! I'd to re-check-in my baggages in Delhi, switch terminals from domestic to international, go through security check and all that shit. All that is good. Only, the collection of my baggages, going to a transfer counter, taking my luggage manually onto a bus which would further take 15 minutes to transport us to the international terminal, find the counter for 'American Airlines' amidst one million carriers there, answer some 'silly but important' questions for a lady who was with 'AA' and spoke in such a high speed that I wondered how many takes she took to memorise the questions, go through immigration, seemed a hassle. With only an hour left of my 4 hour transit time, I went around the airport, grabbed a fruit juice and waited to board the flight mentally preparing myself to undergo the torture of sitting in the same airline that has no TV screens, rude crew for 15 and a half hours. The flight from Delhi, went straight to Chicago.

The crew was better than the ones in the flight from Chicago to Frankfurt, and they had TV screens too! I felt sorry for being judgemental of AA in only one flight route and changed my opinion about them. The long journey was not as bad as I thought it'd be. I'd Matthew Reilly for company, with his '6 Sacred Stones'. I was lost in it, totally, when I was not sleeping. Much to my amazement, the flight reached Chicago an hour ahead of schedule. Unfortunately, the immigration offices would not open till 5 AM, so, we were asked to wait for a full 45 minutes in the flight. With quite a few pages still left of the novel, 45 minutes of adventure filled fantasy was only a bonus that I'd not asked for.

Got down at 5, done with my immigration, picked up my luggage, went through customs which the officers didn't bother checking, (akin to what happened in Bangalore), I was wondering how the fussy-finicky US government let the Swine flu test pass. They checked each and every passenger in Bangalore for Flu! Anyways, I transferred my luggage to AA domestic, and boarded a 10 minute train to the domestic terminal. This didn't seem even half as big the hassle I underwent in Delhi. I'd four more hours to kill in Chicago and was hoping that rain wouldn't play spoilsport. My flight to Houston was at 10 in the morning. So there I sat, with my novel, the climax fast approaching now, I didn't wanna be disturbed. My brother called up from Canberra and reminded me to remind myself that I board the flight and not get carried away in the book. With Reilly, such a thing happening is not very surprising.

This flight took 2 hours, a half hour less than it was supposed to. No problems, no qualms, no complaints. I was barely paying heed to all that :P

Finally, I reached Houston, and my room mate was there, in the same car to pick me up. Had it broken down again, I wouldn't have bothered much, neither would I be as tense as I was, the previous time. Grabbed something to eat en route to Beaumont, to the (love to say), Bed Bug free house in Beaumont.

Where destiny takes us...

2009-05-18T06:36:00.003+05:30

I was wondering what I would write a blog on, till I came across a very interesting Kannada article. I don't know if it spoke of the current apathy of us, the people, or was it mocking us that though having the potential, we are not realising it. By 'US', i don't mean to seclude or concentrate or for that matter, contain ourselves in any type of linguistic barrier. I refer to the common public, the 'WE'.

The article spoke at length about how there has never been another Bill Gates, another Lata Mangeshkar, though the potential for anyone being anyone is high. It spoke at length about how even after having immense amount of talent, we generally fail to channelise them into the right direction, the direction that would lead you to pursue the path of your role model.

It spoke about how in the US, kids, after a certain age are let free to decide and chose their own career, in comparison to the common state of an Indian student, who generally succumbs to pressure from the dad to do his engineering or medical course. The tone of such a sentence was so whining that I wondered if the author himself underwent through such a process, himself.

Not surprising. True. I Agree. If you'd muster up enough courage to stand in front of your dad and tell him that you'd become a rock star, or a classical musician, or an artist, I'm very sure that it'd be met with immense amount of scorn. Again, not surprising at all, considering our conservative society. There are very few people who would actually say, "Go ahead son/daughter, go and live your dream." There are tonnes of things inter-related to this. I'm not saying that its wrong on anyone's part to enforce. Yes. I'm not. These are very much dependent on how much that stream would have to offer, for a person to maintain his 'social status' or simply, to earn his bread. A country smitten with piracy where in people wouldn't want to spend on anything, wouldn't buy your paintings. The technologically advanced India would take snaps of that painting on a high tech 7 MP camera on a mobile phone, and hundreds of people would use it as wallpapers later on. :-) There is no thought process involved about how the painting originated or how you got it.

When CDs of international artistes don't get sold in the music stores, there is no way that the public would be interested in buying a CD of a band unknown hitherto. If the band manages to stick around for a while, like for 10-15 years and makes a good name, fanatics would rummage through the debris trying to find the first album. But finding it online would be easier, don't you think? ;)

All these factors are discouraging. Discouraging enough for someone to not take up other forms of profession other than the 'safer' ones. But tell me something, there is no fun in life without taking any risk. Throw a few twists and turns in it, it becomes all the more interesting. Any good driver wouldn't want to drive a supercar on a straight road.

Now, for Bill Gates or Lata Mangeshkar, the best way to put it across, would be to take the safest stance of telling that both of them, when they started off, didn't have much competition. Honestly, I don't know of many people who thought of wanting to start an operating system who were successful (by hook or crook) [sorry, it was too tempting to not say this] or a singer who 'supposedly' made sure that no one else sang in the movies she was a part of. But hey, both of them were revolutionary. People don't look at the process. People look at the end product. The process is what appeals to you, or what your guilt haunts you, later in life. You choose it.

Come to think of it, you don't have to become 'someone'. You can be you and do something. Such persons are cited all the time to gain inspiration, if I can say so. Well, luck and destiny too have a major hand in such matters. Not all can establish a software giant like Apple and stand up to a company that once, 'reportedly' refused to hire Steve Jobs.

The imperfection of perfectionism

2009-04-02T05:18:00.003+05:30

Meanings, perspectives and philosophies of life are just so personal. Anything one does is always relative to something, or someone, though life would be much more hassle free without comparisons.

God has different meanings to different people. Few people consider idol worship a mere foolishness, few people consider it sacred. Few people say love is God. Few people say there is nothing called love. People in love themselves have different definitions for love. For some, its the meeting whenever the other person wants, without understanding what he/she might be going through, for some, its the connection that works even after days of not talking, for some, its the one hour phone call, every night whispering sweet nothings.

We'd have surely heard of expressions like 'That's the perfect tea I could ever drink', 'She's the perfect friend I could ever have' or worse, 'I'm a perfectionist'! Backstreet Boys even made a song which was 'The perfect fan'. Now, being perfect is not wrong. Its just not attainable. Its simply not realisable. What we've adjusted the word to be in our world is only on a relative basis to another person's actions, or words, simply because there is nothing like it that we've experienced before. In a group of ten people, it would be easy for a seasoned music composer to pick the best - no, the perfect guitarist. By relative, I mean, that what one needs to understand is that there could have been some hidden potential in any person which would have propelled him to this level and given more time and self boosting, surely, higher levels could be attained. Its only that the realisation that has to occur. To whom? I don't know!

Its easy for someone to go to a 99% level. That is the perfect level that the common folk addresses and relates to. But how satisfying is it for that person? No one but the creator is a full 100%. Man can probably go to a close 99.8%, a genius to 99.9%. Everyone cannot be a genius, that forms a different discussion altogether. For a person to go to a 99% level is not very difficult. One could grace that position by immense hard work, or by sheer luck. Once that is reached, and the person wants to elevate his/her position higher, it is like doing a full 100 to go high a notch of 0.8%. It is probably because that is why it is called going close to perfection, and its something that is extremely difficult to attain. People who attain 99.8% in their life wouldn't care if they are known by the world, if they'd be rewarded for what they've done in life. The problem is with the people stuck in the 90 odds. They want to achieve something unheard of, of which the whole world is proud of them. Not quite uncommon, is it? ;)

For me, a composition that I make would be perfect, in terms of the music grammar (Ego or self contradictory? :P). Howmuchever I know in music, it limits me to actually figure out whats wrong, unless told by someone. Making a song is different, it should be able to speak for itself, without any explanations. When that happens, hopefully, in a matter of few years, I'll proudly write another blog that I went up a 0.1% ;)

For a person, who's been praised by all, who's been envied by competition, who's slammed the critics down with his work, it is quite but natural if I say that a feeling of wanting to do more would be brewing up inside his grey matter. Well, that's for people who seek improvement, I don't wanna talk about people who are already PURRFFECT and can't improve. I can only sigh in despair as to what a sad life they have.

Why do things happen? Why? Why??

2009-03-18T08:30:00.006+05:30

I don't know. Its probably a thought that all of us get sometime or the other, a fleeting thought, or a thought that makes you ponder over life. [Listening to Bombay theme as I write this just makes matters more apt].

There are so many ideas in my brain to write. Don't know what this would turn into. I may interlink all the brainstorming I've done also, like what I do most of the times.

Things happen when you least expect them. His highness Murphy is mostly responsible for almost all the awkward moments one would have to spend during the course of life. God comes a close second, maybe. (If you believe in him, or her, that is) [Song change - Tu hi re!]

I'm not sure if you'd have experienced this. Not wanting anything to happen from the bottom of your heart would make matters accelerate in the opposite direction. When Murphy's laws come into force here, I wonder who coined the 'Jab tum kisi bhi cheez ko dil se maangoge, to poori kaaynaat koshish karegi ki woh tumhaari hojaaye'!

Which of these is stronger? My desire to learn the violin, the passion to achieve something in life or Murphy's power? Is this all just a realm of fantasy? NO. I really don't think so.

There is a reason behind every single thing that happens in the world. And I, having experienced things first hand, am a true believer of it. I can't remember how back in time I need to travel to relate to what is happening now.

I started singing in 89, sometimes with force, sometimes for fun, but never with that burning passion of wanting to go on stage and get the audience clapping. 2009. I make sure I get my daily dosage of riyaaz without which I feel my day is ruined.

A guy whom I was jealous of for being popular in school, becomes a very good friend, later on and makes life so much easier. Back in the early 90s, I thought that the guy who made me feel insecure would never meet me again in life!

A teacher under whom I was learning music refused to teach me because of internal conflicts, which never made me stop looking for music. Today, I like to say that though I'm technically not even half as sound as it requires me to be, I'm better!

A friend with whom the first (and the last) fight was over sharing boiled potatoes, (a real violent one, I must say) a fact that his mom and I till date, laugh off. A relation going strong for 20 odd years.

Makes me feel old sometimes.

A band mate once said, 'Time flies'. I was jobless and I guffawed at it then. I think of it now. She told me this around 3 years back. How time flew, I don't know. I can still remember sitting outside the 'mini-conference hall' in college, 8 years back, with her and with another guy who's a well known musician today, getting ready for a mini concert then. We barely spoke that day, we speak almost every week now. Who knew that a band would be started and she would be one of the founder members of it?

True. Things happen for a reason. Be it small instances, big fights, small misunderstandings, anything. Its more important for a person to see the brighter things of life. The choice is always what a person makes. The situation can change earth to sky, based on the choice one makes.

An aquaintance turned friend's friend turned closed friend stumped me with his speed and attitude. I was in one more of my phases, not knowing how much sensitive I was being. An year's break affected me badly which is when I pulled myself through. I pulled myself so much through that today I'm able to laugh at myself for having cried earlier. I don't repent doing anything in life, I'm actually an experienced soul. I changed, thanks to him, but we didn't. :) No song that I write gets ahead without his approval. No idea of mine is complete without his bolstering. He's a friend, everyone should have.

When I tell I understand what you are going through, I don't mean to say it just to comfort you. I've hated myself, I've loved myself. I've been arrogant, honest, impatient, ridiculed, praised, afraid, fearless, monophobic, turned over to enjoy every bit of it, in love and depression, sickly sentimental, bossy, almost everything, till now. Its for no other reason that I'm what I'm, now than all these put together. A 'person' who happens to know me since I was a day old and suggested that I've this name to my parents just recently told me that now, even when people tell the most surprising thing, I can manage to remain calm and not show any expression on my face. He'd never thought that it could happen with me. Well, I'm a Scorpio. My face dare not disobey what my brain says! :P

I'd never thought I'd do Chemical Engineering. I'd never expected I'd make so many friends. I'd never expected I'd do anything in music. I'd never thought I'd do postgraduation. I'd never thought I'd work at IISc. I'd never thought that something about everything I see would inspire me in life. I'd never thought I'd ever own a Yamaha synth. I never thought I'd have a desire of learning so many languages and understanding so many cultures.

I'd never thought that a person whom I knew played the guitar. I never realised how well he played. I never expected us to start a band, discuss compositions and make decisions. Of all of it, I really didn't know we'd be jamming across time zones. All these are things that have happened when I least expected them to happen. Its does look like Murphy wins over in most situations, atleast true, till now. Things do happen for a reason, and its nice that they happen when you least expect them to.

Life in the US!

2009-02-21T04:44:00.004+05:30

Yeah, since I came here, I'd not made a written note of how things are here, so, thought would pen something down and open the world to the doors of enlightenment [:P]

Its been 6 months so far. I came here in the early August. Finished one semester, and gettin' slowly deeper into the second. The classes are ok, I mean nothing to actually tell that "Oh God! Masters is so grilling". In fact, it probably is at the same level or lesser at times, in terms of coursework compared to the poor VTU - the Visveswaraya (Yes, I did get the spelling right) Technological University, under which almost all the colleges in Karnataka are affiliated to. I'd have expected post graduation to be atleast more challenging than the work atmosphere at the Indian Institute of Science. My research project there was far more research involving, and comparitively strenuous, well, atleast when the gasifiers ran and we were required to stay in front of the heat and dust for 12 hours a day, taking readings every 15 minutes or so. The analysing part sprung up later. It was like a strong building being built on basics. It was fun. Seriously. (Oxymoron? NO!)

I do research on air quality here. The general laziness in lifestyle forces me to complain and whine to do work. Though it is probably one quarter of what I'd been doing back at work, and no way strenuous, with super equipments handling most of the work. I'm required to put filter papers in an equipment and leave it for 8 days. When I go back, Voila! I get the results and I take the samples and put them in another machine to analyse (I just started work, and haven't gotten to that part yet, but still) Convenient? Yeah. Totally. Do you know what is happening? Yeah. Totally. Tell me, lets see. The machine is doing the work, can't you understand that much? :P

No wonder people grow to such proportions in this part of the world! There could or would be other reasons for that, but I'd like to attribute this as one of them. :)

Beaumont, South East TX, is a village off Houston, some 89 miles off. The university here, is on the outskirts of such a village. I've seen people branding India as the land of casteism, where in people of inferior status are looked down upon. Yes, I agree. I won't prevaricate here. There are problems, regional, communal, cultural, casteial (??). There are also the good things that few people, few educated people understand that there is nothing of the sort and dismiss it off. It is also a pity that few educated people tend to get absorbed into such cheap, vulgar distinctions that I wonder why they are called educated.

In the United States Law, everyone is treated equally. Every person is given equal opportunity irrespective of where he is from or what caste he is.

This is what I'd heard, till I saw.

If casteism in India is Brahmins, Bunts, Subsects and Other Backward Classes, caste in US is Caucasians, African americans, Asians (the word by itself is expressed in such disgust, by the way). It is no different. Caucasians are the priveleged people who hold the most prestigious jobs. African americans - the sect of people popular mostly in South East Texas, states of Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi, who are known for their aggressive nature and mugging talents. Asians, comprised primarily of our North India border sharing country - China. I saw chinese people and was stunned. They go totally out of the way to comprehend a topic, or create something new out of it. Each minute detail is studied. If you thought Indians were hard working, learn from the Chinese. I'm sure you'll be lost half way.

Beaumont is a sad place. I see buses rarely, and I see that trains in texas, are so fast inbetween cities that they take 24 hours or more to go to a place that is barely a 8 or a 9 hour drive. My bed bug-cockroach-weird insect laden house is very close to the college, saving me the time to walk across for a long time. Saving time? Sorry! Wrong expression :)

There is not much to do by saving time, apart from the groceries which we religiously buy at walmart every saturday or sunday, or the nearby washeteria where we go once in every 3 weeks. This area is supposedly having a low security. Not to brag about my bicep's size, but a person of average strength like me can break open my house door, without much assistance. Neighbours? Never seen them. Surroundings? Bad. Fear constand mugging at nights, or just gettin beaten up black and blue, or sit up whole night killing bed bugs or scratching the body. Yes, I'm in America.

Weekends are a total no-no for teetotalers like me. Watch people drink, see some movies and pass those 2 dreadful days. I miss the improptu trips or treks that were planned on thursday night and executed on friday evening in Bengaluru.

I'd stayed in India, in Bengaluru, in the same house for about 24 years, and knew the locality pretty well. There were incidents of robbery, but nothing, (thank God), close to the vicinity of our house. The last week, i heard what i'd heard in movies till then, in the middle of my sleep at 4 AM, which made me look at a guy coolly climb on his red SUV and drive off. Gunshots. 4 of them. Not a cry, not a sound after that, no cop cars, no nothing. The few hours of my sleep was spent in thinking, what if the angle of the gun changed? Yes, I'm in America.

One day, I'd left my book in a lab. A freaking $70 book. Convert that. ~Rs. 3500. Holy shit! Quite as natural, I freaked out. To add to my woes, I realised that I don't have the book with me on a saturday, when the lab was closed and when my mood was to study the subject, to face an upcoming examination. I spent the whole saturday thinking about what to do, and the whole sunday vowing that I'd learn to be extra careful and not forget such things. The next day, I go to the lab to see my book sitting right where I left it. I was overjoyed. I was more amused. Had it happened in India, I'd have chastised myself for losing a 3.5 k book and would have definitely taken care to see that it goes into my bag, next time. Here, I know that if I leave it again, I'll get it back. You getting the state of mind? People here get the easiest of things. Sometimes, the easy way of doing things helps. Not all the time. To know in what position one is, it is necessary to think of how worse a situation could he/she be in.

All the way I knew I was a celebrity and there would be some numbers of girlfriends flocking around me. I was wondering which nationality I'd have to choose and you know, go ahead! Things aren't as nice as you think they are, unfortunately. So thought of proclaiming that I'm single on the internet would help [:P]

That is the 6-month update I thought the world needed to know about. I'm still going strong, not losing will power and multi tasking. My Indian attributes are way too strong to be encompassed by something American. Hell, I don't eat chicken still!

New Year!

2009-02-01T08:37:00.002+05:30

Another New Year, another year went by. Kudos to me for having tried to write one blog atleast for almost all months in the previous year [:P]. Resolutions? No, I wouldn't want to put them in public view, but there are quite a few impressive ones!

No, really!

I somehow manage to draw inspiration from both real life incidents and from movies. It depends on how strong the feeling is and how strong my affinity toward it is. I just hope I don't draw inspiration immensely after seeing Troy or Saw. Hmm! Now, that would be really grose! SAW??!! ;)

I recently saw Luck By Chance. It was a good movie. Reminded me of Page 3, Fashion and the like that exposes the inside story. I've had my share of the tryst with a slightly weaker versions of the same, not that the movie opened my eyes or something. But, as always, Konkona Sen Sharma blows me away with each performance. I don't wanna bore you and elaborate on the story. The ending of the movie was with she roughly telling, "I don't go to a 9 - 5 job every morning, but I do something that I like to do." Now, if this wasn't enough, she also adds, "How many of us actually get to do that?"

That is a very interesting proposition. It is different when you start liking what you do. Few people do it for force, few people do it because their ego shouldn't get hurt (count me in this), but how many of us get up early in the morning, and tell to ourselves that we are not working, but we are doing something that we really like doing?

It is merely a reflection of what we choose, how we choose it and why we choose it. For me, to enter full time into music wasn't feasible because of obvious reasons. I'm still keeping it part-time and working and doing my own research on what I never knew till date, juxtaposing it with my Master's degree in Chemical Engineering. It doesn't matter to me if I make that work of mine public or if I get noticed and get lauded for that. Not that my PG degree is at stake or something, or not that I'm doing it out of sheer force, but on a lighter vein, I thought that atleast my band wouldn't have been affected by recession. :P

Most of us get so involved in things and make our lives so complicated that we don't even find time in our busy lives to think about such 'trivial' stuff. Trust me, it'd be a lot more helpful and you'd be doing yourself a favour if you thought about it, and did something about it. Again, think about it if you like to, if not, this blog won't have any purpose :)

Oooo.. Makes me wonder!!

2008-12-30T08:00:00.004+05:30

It was another day in Beaumont, TX. Or maybe it wasn't. December 10th was when Beaumont was witness to snowfall, an occurence that happened, last in December '89. I'd two options, like old times - I could rue about global warming and crib that this shouldn't happen in this part of the world, where it is so humid, I mean, it just wasn't supposed to happen, or, I could join my friends and play in the snow. Play prolly sounds too kiddish, but it was fun. Trust me, it was. Throwing snowballs, getting hit, drinking hot coffee standing in the snow outside our house was fun. I was in shorts, braving the cold, which let me running inside the house and out, to keep my feet alive. I could've changed myself into something warmer, I didn't want to.

December 10th, in India, back home, albeit 11 and a half hours ahead of this current season time in US, without daylight saving, was the wedding reception of my elder brother, a family function that involved intense travelling, juggling between two metros, exposure to the temperament of two different cultures amalgamating. It'd have been much fun to attend the wedding that happened 4 days before too, but its not that I didn't wanna go. The chair of my department thought that 'weddings' weren't emergencies or 'special' cases during which an early exam could happen. I had nearly managed to push him further on this regard earlier, till the hurricanes played spoilsport with all my plans. I was DESTINED to listen to the commentary of what was happening around only on the phone, something which I had least expected, much earlier. Close friends made it a point to attend the wedding, though. But who can replace me? ;)

Actually, who can replace anyone?

Rhythmica - IISc's band, the band on which you can expect a blog shortly, has given me a lot. Heck, it even brought the best critic (or should i say worst? :P) to one of the shows, and the critic gave a thumbs up to the quality of music that could be produced on stage. Strictly speaking, I'd only one good solo song throughout my tenure at IISc. The amount the band gave me back, without me giving anything at all is probably what was destined to happen too. I was flabbergasted at the way things could be looked at, and trust me, it was the best band I'd ever been in, till now. I'd be wrong if I'd say it doesn't pinch me when I'm not a part of the shows Rhythmica organises. I'd have to satiate my desire and frustration by telling myself that I've come here for a reason, and I know that I'd roll out something off my stable, pretty soon. Or atleast, I hope so.

The day after it snowed, (it actually snowed through the wee hours of monday morning), the snow settled on the rooftops was melting, which further plummeted the temperature. It was like the sun was just there, without any credibility on its part to make us believe that it can actually cause convection and heat up the cold air. Standing in the sun didn't do anything good. Standing, by itself was not a good option that day. I was walking. I probably had 4 layers of clothing on, gloves, and a beanie, which was barely sufficient to keep me warm. I'd to chew gum willingly or unwillingly that day, to keep my face from getting jammed. Jammed because of the extreme numbness my exposed parts were experiencing. I zoomed out from a camera on top of my head in stages, and saw brilliant white matter strewn in the first, large buildings and an unrecognisable me in the second. The further zooms made me look at stuff from a totally different perspective. I saw myself, 15000 miles, 24000 km from home, walking on a strange land, a land in which I wasn't born, the land away from family and friends, where you'd to fear mugging, live amidst racial discrimination, run away from hurricanes, stay as a loner most of the times. One of my friends once said, "Aye, you like only the place where your friends are." I'd never found it difficult to make friends. My ego, that day didn't accept what she said, but I realised it later, she was right on the dot. I don't know how or why, I know she was.

A recently read write up by one of my friends on a trek they went to, was so breathtakingly pictorial in my imagination that I felt teleported to the places at times. I literally felt myself listening to them talking, reacting, feeling those exhilarating experiences with full vigor.

It makes me wonder. All this for nothing? Or all this for something? The time I'd to spend with people close to me, replaced with exam tensions, projects, presentations and now, vacation which simply bores me to death.

It makes me wonder how things shape up in life, without a slightest inkling toward what would happen later.

It makes me wonder, how you need to survive to live, how you need to change yourself to adapt yourself.

It makes me wonder how good all this would do to oneself. How the land of opportunities would bestow its luck or fortune or how soft a stone it'd give me to carve a mesmerising future out of it.

What's life without a dollop of Inspiration in it?

2008-11-11T08:25:00.002+05:30

Oh yes!

This is a very connecting phrase in almost all our lives.

Inspiration to do something. Motivation. Wish they sold it somewhere. Alas, the practical scenario seems a little away from that ;).

I'm sure most of you, (like me), would have had someone to talk about how life turns banal over a little period of time, boasting of the same routine day in and day out. We'd need something new to just push us up and leave us in an excited state forever. The solution to that is pretty simple. It lies in the realms of the grey matter! :D

No, seriously!

Be it wanting to learn the guitar (the number of people which I stopped counting, eventually), or heading to the gym, (no references to anyone in particular :P), anything not in particular, but with a sole desire to break the monotony - all would either fetch a 'faithfulness rate' of shameful numbers or wouldn't be started, at all. Both - disgraceful :).

The whole thing being that if you wanna look at the open book as open, it is definitely open. The entire success-motivation thingy lies in the realms of the grey matter indeed. It is totally unfortunate that one doesn't realise that there is something good to learn from every bad thing that happens. Heck, even the bad looks BAD if you look at it 'bad'ly.

Ask a poet, or a 'self claimed amateur lyricist' like me, and we'll tell you, that there is something in everything. Something about which something can be told. When such is the rule of nature, it is just being lazy on one's part to not realise how much one can get inspired.

We made a song on Inspiration. Better put, we made an instrumental. The only one so far, by the band. The first piece to ever be composed by us. Pumped us with lots of energy and made us conjure up things hitherto unknown. My brother, named it Inspiration. He felt it groovy, unexpected and peppy. We didn't say no :). Come to think of it, listening to that raw version with Vinay playing, totally immersed into the tune, Aravinda's careful notes, Kiran's voice here and there to change 'this' and do 'that' actually pumps us up each time we listen to it. No later jammings produced the same effect.

I take inspiration from the number of CDs we'd release, that feeling of wanting to explode in a studio with what all has been (and still is) building up in my mind, that feeling of satisfaction, that feeling of wanting to know almost everything at work, that intellectual gratification, that innate quality of wanting to be the best in everything I do, (rather than just sayin it :P), that feeling of wanting to drive an Audi, those desires, those dreams.

Dream on! [Aerosmith's my favourite song. I wrote a few lines on similar lines ;)] Dreams should feed your perceptions with inspiration, rather than just remaining dreams.

Success can be the biggest turn on in the world. It is a pity people fall for much different things :P :P

Music!

2008-11-01T07:02:00.003+05:30

Yeah. I so wanted to write something on music. It'd have aptly been 'The journey through music' but I somehow (thank the stars for that) realised that the word 'journey' has been so oft used in my blogs to being classified as cliche.

And I feel like praising myself today (its not wrong to praise myself once in a while, is it? ;)), so anyone who cannot stand my self-eulogy, or direct referrals to people, may skip reading this blog. Yeah, I intend to credit all the people (most, if my memory doesn't permit all) till now, and talk about their influence on me too.

So, we have a plan! :P

It is something I'd not have dreamt of, around 19 years back. Something that doesn't seem so old, since it is picture printed in my mind. I can still smell the fresh paint! Titanic was called the ship of dreams! :P :P :P

December 89, by the numerous praises on how good my pronunciation was, when I'd been reciting the numerous shlokas in Sanskrit, taught by my first teacher, I should say, my Grandmother, I was made to join Carnatic Music Classes, under the tutelage of Mrs. Manjula, the lady who stayed across our house. Classes and practice went on, complementing each other, at an age where in I didn't even realise that something was going to happen to me, as an effect of all this. Something, indeed.

Time progressed, my next teacher was Mrs. Lalitha Panthulu, under whom I completed my Junior level music exam. Learnt under Mrs. Uma Shambhoj next, when my mind slowly started opening up to how modulations can be made and with what finesse. Of course, by now, I'd started to earn envious looks and expressions from almost all guys at school for being in large groups performing songs, where in the female population was dominant. I didn't disappoint them. You pervert mind, I meant the audience.

There were considerable number of people now, who knew I'd sing. I don't remember, frankly, if they complimented me on singing good or not, but there were quite a few people who thought I was synonymous with the word music. I saw my slam book of the Tenth standard in school, recently, and I see many of them having written that they wanted to see me as a singer! Maybe I did sing really well then. :)

Tenth exams, I discontinued my classes. After the exams, I didn't go to class regularly. I didn't free myself from music though. Not that I'd some blossoming new found interest, but I just didn't. Don't know why, still.

A couple of group songs, zonal level competitions happened during my 2 years of college after tenth. The only 'mention-worthy' event during this time was my organising of a group, taking us to the state level competition at Belgaum. (The northest, I'd travelled, till then)

With sheer force from parents, and my grandmother in particular, I was compelled to practise music at home. I make a mistake in any note, my mom could realise something going wrong, though she couldn't tell what it was. I really didn't like being forced into practice. Music should flow shouldn't it? ;) Little did I know that it was majorly because of such rigorous classes at such an early stage in life, were the accolades, the certificates and the prizes for singing.

That break from continuous practice sessions, that break from music classes and that break from Bangalore, when I scooted off to Tumkur, for my Bachelor's started a brand new chapter of my life. Not that I found some teacher there, but I rediscovered something long lasting in myself in that phase. Those 4 years. It was during this time that I got an opportunity to sing with SP Balasubramaniam, on a kannada TV show. It was during this time that I more or less found out that I was indeed blessed with some kind of a boon that safeguarded my voice without considering the fact that I, then and now, don't take 'that special' care for my voice.

Attitude changed. Outlook changed. Started listening to stuff. I started analysing songs. I vividly remember plugging in my earphones and walking around the hostel corridor at 3 in the night, deciphering a song from ParthaaLe Paravasam, wondering how it was made, how it was arranged. I just don't know what made me think so, but I knew something.

Everytime I heard something superlative, I could feel my adrenaline pumping. The same thing that pumps your blood when you drive fast or satiate your sensory activities, which involves being on the same track of a moving train, and scampering away so that you aren't crushed, walking on a railway track some metres above the ground fully knowing that in case you slip, nothing can be found.

I started changing my style of singing. Started going with the flow. SIT played a major role in changing me overall, giving me the STAGE so many times and making each performance of mine, a memorable one.

Prithwijit Ghoshal, my classmate at SIT thought of making me listen to Heavy Metal, for fun. I was in my phase of confusion and frankly, I don't know of any other classical singer who would have appreciated Heavy Metal at the first hear. I didn't feel it was noise. I felt a connection with it. Not something that made me change my liking toward music or my loyalties. But I just didn't feel noisy!

One of my journeys (there we go, again) from Tumkur to Bangalore, incidentally was with Nani, a person who would later become a co-lyricist, a member of the critic panel of BlendzZ, and a person who would change my outlook to a considerable extent, and one of my best friends. For the entire stretch, I remember singing songs. I'd never sung so much continuously. I was witness to a great sense of enjoyment with all his clapping and dismissal to my anxiety that it would cause disturbance to the rest, in the bus. No one complained. Nani knew no one would. The one song that slapped me right in my cheek during this entire travel time was Nani's singing. I'll be very frank. The way he sung wasn't even close to it being categorised a song. But the whole expression in his eye is what i'll remember till I die. Oh re taal mile, by Mukesh, was Nani's favourite number then. I was awestruck by the glint in his eye while singing. I realised that there is much more to a song than just notes and rhythm. There was a cute mini-concert arranged for me in the first year hostel, at his room, on the eve of my first birthday there. It was close to fifty songs. Nani had written down the entire order, and there were about 40 - 50 people clamoured in his room, and I was given a chair at the center! This was of course, by far the most I'd sung.

Venkatsubramanian. I've not tortured anyone more than him. Yet, I don't know what made him come home to give me Safriduo's latest album. The guy who re-introduced me to Western music, and introduced me to Scorpions, which later grew on to become my one of the 'all time favourites'. I can never forget those endless loopings of Salaam Bombay. We discussed about those violins for I don't know how long!! Nani and I went by bus, Venkat and I spoke non-stop in train. It was all about Sivamani, AR Rahman, how on earth songs come out, how on earth they are conjured at all. I'm quite sure that my classmate who accompanied us, Sarada went crazy. She never travelled with us again.

[It is gettin' into a long blog, again. So typically me :P]

If I tell i'm a fan of AR Rahman and quality music today, I've to, unassumingly, credit that to Karthikeyan. This guy made sure that I heard all the music that he's, and we've had endless discussions about how songs are, how songs were, how they could've been and stuff. Karthikeyan. He was generous enough to write a couple of songs for the band.

Shantanu, unfortunately, [don't know for whom, though :P] wasn't in Tumkur with me. He nevertheless, observed change in my singing. He and his mother are the supreme critcs, I'd encountered, till then. I frankly don't know how they manage to do it, everytime. I know him for such a long time now, and he knows how my mind works. This guy can actually categorise the music based upon who would like it, how much they would like it, what would the critics say, and how better it could be. Trust me, there is nothing more than this that a critic can do. I called him the supreme critic for no reason. :P

While I'd been singing at school, competition at that stage is so rampant. Trying to prove better than the other person is a common thing that happens in school. I'm happy that amidst all this brouhaha, I made good friends with Harsha, who also took classical lessons with me and gave me inspiration to an extent, and Sinchan Dixit, with whom I gelled so well on stage. We would start songs at the same time on stage, as if someone gave a cue, without a count. So much was the understanding we shared that, a group of 50 people were split into 2, one under me and the other under her. When the groups combined, there were no musical clashes! Magic! ;)

One person, besides Shantanu whom I know since birth, [well, almost] and still share the same camaraderie is Kiran Lingappa. This was rather strange. We didn't even know when we were friends, we didn't even know when we became close. Of all the above mentioned critics, this active critic counts my mistakes as I sing, and unfortunately, the fingers on his hand won't suffice. When he likes a song, he moves all mountains to make sure that it is put across in the right way, and when he doesn't like a song, he tries to make you realise how bad it sounds. He liberally moves around with chords and notes when we sit down and compose and leaves a lasting impact on what one hears, later. Kiran Lingappa. I'd like to call him one of the co-founder members of BlendzZ. He's been there since she started and has seen it all. THE Perfectionist.

I've made a lot of friends till now. Some of them instigated purely because of music, some of them, starting with music, some of them instigated combining both. Chetan is the classic example for this. This guy surprises me, each time about how diverse and variegated his musical ability and talent is. I'd generally get to know any person's preference over a period of time. But Chetan reminds me everytime, as to how wrong I can be. He's there in the audience at almost all the trials conducted, but misses the real show sometimes. I get down the stage and see him. He'll be all smiles, there'll be some satisfaction, but then he'll start off. That line, this line and stuff. Send him an own composition, which you are sure that he'd like. For all you know, he'll dismiss it off as banal! I remember Chetan complimenting only on 2 of the songs we've composed, ever, almost out of 10 - 15 that i'd have made him listen. Makes life difficult with him around, for people who complain.

I was in 2nd year PUC, and I have had a clear memory about a female flautist. It was so unnatural then. Got in touch with her later and started BlendzZ. A very good friend, weird, just like I'm :P. Critiques almost all the parts of all the songs sent. Its hard to convince her. You'll feel she's convinced, but then, she'll start that 'oh i don't know' tone of hers which makes you feel you've gone nowhere. Aravinda K Srinivasan. Simply wants the best everytime! :D

You need to have driving force to do anything and everything. The main driving force to start off BlendzZ, for me, which I'm sure was reciprocated in the same extent from the opposite direction was the one and only Vinay Shantagiri. By far, the best guitarist, I've ever jammed with till date. By far, the best composer who has worked with me. We compliment each other so well which just surprises us, each time. He puts in a new chord when jammin sometime and I slam down on a corresponding note almost as if by cue. BlendzZ, is incomplete without the co-ordination between Vinay's simplicity, reflected by his tunes, and my wavering, hard to reproduce notes. It is this note that coincided between us and propelled us to start a band.

My next teacher for Carnatic Music, Chintalapalli Srinivas, was a major source of inspiration and encouragement for me to perform. His knowledge database enriched my learning and put in loads of creativity, with spontaneity.

Easwaramurthy, my ex roomie, my tamil teacher, made sure I got the words right, all the time

Sharath, my roommate for 3 years, made me realise that I need to improvise to survive.

Harsha CR, the computer genius, reminded me each time that I need to take a risk, and gave me the 'in your face' opinion about any song.

Naveen Prabhu, the guy responsible for our band having a name, keeps reminding that I'm a rockstar and I'm my own competition. Well, his opinion. I just wrote it. [:D]

Prashanth Shukla, who was kind enough to sing with me at SIT, during a coupla shows, made it really memorable and enjoyable for both of us.

Karthik Rao, the guitarist from Nevermind, who just doesn't give up trying, till you actually sit on his head and tell him not to do so.

Shankar Shastry, the spontaneous guitarist, again from Nevermind, who comes up with improptu leads and fast lyrics.

Mandyam Jairaj, the boisterous Indian percussionist of BlendzZ, without whom things are lifeless and boring. He just starts playing a rhythm when we are lost in space thinking about how we could do something. He is a bundle of energy.

Amith Nadig, the celebrity, the exponent. I don't have much talent, nor the knowledge to talk about this guy's talents. Hear him to believe him. I wouldn't be surprised if you'd have already heard him.

Almost 19 years into music. A part of 4 bands till now. Raaga Incorporated, BlendzZ, Nevermind, Rhythmica. Blending of genre. So much fun till now. Quite a bit of writing songs, stage shows and composing songs. I have tried to think of all I'd to tell in this. Didn't wanna leave anyone go. I know its a big one. 19 years has quite a bit of story to tell. What do you think? ;)

Hurricane IKE

2008-09-30T09:31:00.003+05:30

I can be a pragmatist and say that this is just another hurricane, what happens will happen, no matter what. I can be a philosopher and say, the world is giving back to us, whatever nature of treatment it got from us. I just chose to run.

All the hype and hooplah surrounding Gustav came to an end, rather disappointingly, and I happened to see the news one day at the gym. Weird as it looked, IKE, a new hurricane [H for Hanna died in the waters] was on its way to the US mainland. Time progressed, the experienced and the learned didn't really follow the news, for what Gustav played with our minds.

Ike turned out to be slightly major in all aspects. It dangerously went close to Haiti and Dominican Republic being a Category 5 hurricane. It was headed toward the US coast, the questions were only how it would sway and how big it'd be before hitting. The Gulf of Mexico, trust me, is very flummoxing.

Ike entered the gulf, and blew up like a huge balloon, covering up around 80% of the gulf! It had a diameter of some 850 km. Pretty small huh? ;)

We were told a day in advance to vacate the city. Like we did the previous time, we thought we'd abide by the college's decision, as we didn't repent much for the fun we'd the previous time :D. The day of registering, we find out that the college had limited seats on the buses, more so, coz around 1 million people were evacuating this time. Quite understandable. That literally left us stranded there, with nowhere to go. Luckily for us, Moraiah asked us if it'd be fine for us to jump in the back of her truck, and follow the college buses. Accommodation wasn't a problem to wherever we were going you see.

Nacogdoches, TX. {Pronounced 'nacadoshes'} The destination for this evacuation. Stephen F Austin State University, some 200 odd km from Beaumont. Took us exactly the stipulated 2 hours, 40 odd minutes. I sat in the back of the truck. Nice fun. With Moraiah speeding up to as much as 90 mph, my hair could have put Markand Deshpande (of yun hi chala fame) to shame. Apart from that, my hair managed to get quite a few 'impressive' looks from people of all ages. It was more fun now :).

This place was ok, food as usual sucked for me. B-L-A-N-D and unhealthy. Nacogdoches is apparently the oldest town in TX. It looked so. A lot of people here and there, unlike Beaumont. No wifi, no cots, no blankets let us quite a little discomforted in the place. 2 days in SFA, we saw on TV how bad Ike had grown upto. Texas was barely visible! Houston, Galveston, Surfside beach were under super threats. Toward the evening, Galveston was pounded miserably. By night, it finished its purpose. The videos looked scary! The next day in Nacogdoches was interesting. I was almost displaced by the wind and rain - here, a place around 250 km from the coast! It almost blew me off!!

Our college was a little damaged. No power and water in the whole city of Beaumont and parts of Houston, IAH was grounded. The power company put an estimate of 2 weeks or more for total restoration. The unbearable cold at the basketball court in which we slept, that tasty food, limited clothing, no laundry. Sounded quite a lot of trouble to me. Under such situations, at such places especially.

My cousin and I decided that I go to her place, at Phoenix, a 2 hour journey by flight. Hurdles? How do I get to the nearest airport at Dallas? Greyhound - the bus service that takes you between cities. To my dismay, there was one greyhound from Nacogdoches to Dallas, and had a strong possibility of getting cancelled due to obvious reasons. My cousin found out that it was there, and we decided that I get out of SFA at 3 ish PM. The bus was at 4.30 PM. To get to the bus station, I'd to take a ride. Moraiah :).

After what seemed like a 'lost way' and a long drive through the woods, we found ourselves just ahead of the bus station. Turned back, and finally landed at the bus station ten minutes before the bus left. The guys were loading the luggage. Rushed in, bought a ticket for myself to Dallas, hopped on to the bus, and was off.

It took a whole 4 hours, with one bus change somewhere in between, to arrive at Dallas. The roads, as usual to US, were fantastic, and the bus station in Dallas was right in the centre of downtown. It was a sight to see. Tall buildings, breathtaking lights, wow!! But no people anywhere outside, at 9 PM! The shuttle service i was supposed to take from there to the airport was apparently not there at that time, and the best way to get to the airport was by cab. There was no other way! I'd paid $40 for a 4 hour bus ride, and paid $60 for the cab, to take me to DFW airport, a mere 30 minutes away!

Stayed at the airport overnight, saw a few movies on my laptop, boarded the flight the next morning at 6. Reached Phoenix, finally. It was so much like home there. Food!! Home food!!Temperature, was berable, unlike the harsh AC there! Much relieved to go there, I must say. Laundry, I needn't had to worry about not having underwears ;)

My cousin, her daughter and my brother in law made sure I made the most of my evacuation trip. Went to all types and sizes of malls there, it was a nice exposure for my mind and senses. Outdoor malls, where mist was sprayed coz you couldn't put an AC there! It was nice. Had loads of fun! The school at which their daughter studied, visits here and there. Found out a lot about stuff I didn't have a clue of. The following monday, she dropped me off to ASU. I've to tell, it looked more like a town, than a university. I got lost a couple of times too! It was huge. Had a sneak peek at the dept., spoke to some people, had my lunch that I'd got from home, took a city bus and went to Arizona Mills, a factory outlet kinda thing. Phoenix is very picturesque. Seems pleasant, till you feel the heat :D. Saw a 3D documentary there on whales and sharks, roamed around the place and she picked me up on her way to home. The next morning, I was out of Phoenix.

College was staring on thursday, and it was a wise option to return on the tuesday. Arrived at Houston, at around 2. The guy who picked me up wanted to wait for one more guy who would arrive at 10 PM. We hung around in houston, went to a huge mall called 'Galleria'. By now I was exhausted gaping wide open at how large buildings can be. Galleria, till date remains the largest, I've ever seen. Visited an Armani showroom there. One of the bigger mistakes in life, at this stage. I'm clad in shorts, and enter the showroom with such elan, that I'd to know would be shortlived. The female opposite is clad in a suit. I tell her that I'll check things out myself, saw a blazer for $3,125, and a shirt for $500. Vowing that I'd never enter an Armani showroom again, I stormed out. I mean, not now, not in this stage atleast! Went out to eat to an Indian restaurant there. Went to the downtown, and I forgot all my exhaustion and started gasping and gaping again. The parking lots were so well designed! Sheraton - Hyatt - Hilton were side by side in the downtown :D.

My mouth started paining. Everything in this trip was good to my eyes. Dallas, DFW airport, Phoenix airport, Phoenix, Tempe, (where ASU is), Houston airport, Houston downtown, ARMANI.

Girogio Armani. I'd dreams about the clothes i saw, the first time ever, and I've just added that to my list after I buy a Lamborghini. Shouldn't the clothes match the car? ;)

Back in beaumont, I found out that the trees outside my house, 3 of them, fell in opposite directions. All fine here now, after an eventful trip. If not for anything, atleast, I travelled alone, which was a lot of fun. I got to know so many things. Lets see where time takes me next.

Rock you like a hurricane!!

2008-09-03T04:07:00.002+05:30

Little did I know when I sung the evergreen Scorpions' song on stage for Rhythmica's Tonic, in June earlier this year, that it'd really come running and rocking like this for me :D.

Yes, for starters, hurricane Gustav, the major hurricane that was supposed to hit the US Gulf Coast, let all of us hither thither, scampering for a safer place. Of course the fact remains that this, happening in a few days time of my class starting here, at Lamar let me a little bothered.

Gustav was playing with our minds. Let me use present, for obvious reasons - I don't wanna enrage it again :P. It created havoc in Dominican Republic, Haiti, Jamaica, Cayman Islands and strengthened consistently over a very slow period of time before attaining a superior status and making a landfall at Cuba. Needless to say, Cuba should have been devastated. A majority of the oil rigs of the US, in the Gulf of Mexico were shut down and oil prices soared up. There were predictions that as Gustav - (I really wonder who names all these hurricanes. Gustav means, 'staff of the Goths', by the way) would enter the Gulf, it'd intensify to its highest attainable degree, the Category 5 status. Now, the last time such a hurricane hit New Orleans, which is about 270 miles from here, flyovers in Beaumont were under water. When I got to know that, I really knew I could panic. I mean, it was valid to panic.

My normal brain could also realise that it'd mean, getting air tickets to my cousins' place at California or Arizona would be far fetched in terms of availability. And since the oil prices soared, you didn't need a genius brain to guess the prices of the flight tickets. The airport that is close to Beaumont is under a flyover's height, so, technically, the airport would be shut down before the city receives havoc rainfall.

I'd to get to Houston to board a flight. On a bus. From the bus stop, a cab, to the airport. Then see what flights are empty. Then board whichever was. Then reach either CA or AZ. I thought its getting way far fetched than what I'd imagined and cancelled that plan. One of my very good friends - Nani arranged for accommodation at Arlington and let me decide for myself about the way to go till there. He works FAST! I chat with him at eerie hours of early morning from Beaumont, to Bangalore, and he arranges for my stay at Arlington! It wasn't difficult for me. I mean, Arlington is a 5 hour drive from where I stay. I could easily hop on to a bus and ride off. By then, the college declared a shut down on the Tuesday and there were rumours that they would take us to Dallas, which is closer to Arlington! I'm sure there was some connection breach when we were chatting ;).

So, by Friday noon, it was known that Gustav would hit, and it would hit real bad. So, we were told to evacuate and if we required the services of the university, we could board the arranged buses by 5 PM. After long hours of registrations and waiting, [love to say this] at 6:20 PM sharp American Standard Time, [;)] we left. Took some photos in case the roof would get blown over our house.

There was traffic that fateful day! We were being taken to Huntsville, which is some 113 miles from here, and ideally takes some 2 odd hours. We reached Huntsville at 1 AM. This was because of the traffic purely, won't say AST here :P.

We stayed at Sam Houston State University. Man! What a campus! I was wondering why I didn't know about this university till I heard that it doesn't offer Engineering as a major. Such a pity! SHSU also comes under the Texas State University System apparently, so, it was a sister concern for them to take us in.

I expected it to be a refugee camp. Frankly. What else would you expect when you drop in, in numbers exceeding 200 to a university at 1 AM? YES? NO! Once we got ourselves registered, they put on a pink (why pink on earth, I still don't know) band on our wrists, that was water proof, which was a permission for us to use the facilities SHSU students could use, albeit with a very few restrictions, which were understandable.

American food! Yeah. I wouldn't say YEAH! Coz, you know what I'm talkin' about ;). But the best part was, you could actually eat till your stomach was full. Since I'm an exotic food lover - [subbu coined that term], I thought of trying all the food from beef to turkey to fish to pork. Somehow I couldn't convince myself to eat pork. The rest were ok. [:)] The eating hours are odd, with lunch at 11 and dinner at 5! AT 5? Yeah. At 5! But added to this, was the unlimited free snacks that were given in any required quantity from 7 AM to 11 PM. Anything from water, cold water, fruit juices, snack bars, chips, honey-buns, et al! We could also ask for a toiletries pack, which would have a toothpaste, a brush, a comb, a mouthwash, and a deodorant. We could also ask for towels, soap, shampoo and hair gel. Not that it was humid like in Beaumont, but for cleanliness freaks like me. As though we require to do all that when we are in the AC 24 x 7 :P. I went to check out the showers on sunday. The men's locker rooms. We've seen that in movies. Open showers and all. It was good! And what do we do after all this? Go to the basketball court where all the guys were put up, recline on the half-couch, half-cot-something and plug in your laptop to the free Wi-Fi of the university. You wanted to sit and surf the net? No problems. The university was generous enough to provide us with around 10 laptops, at one end of the basketball court, with internet access, needless to say. There were basketball courts, for people who would play, and swimming for people who could swim, I'll also mention soccer, rugby and pool. [Yes, I was imagining how much you'd have played, chetan ;)] Oh, and whenever we walked around the dining hall, which was a little far from the place we stayed, we got.. Ok, I'd say I got some female attention because of the pink band (now I know why pink :)) and I'd end up talking and explaining them that we are EVACUEES from Beaumont. Phew! EVACUEES!

Meanwhile, the hurricane had subsided, (unfortunately :P) and a meeting was called to tell us that we'd be leaving Huntsville to Beaumont. And seriously, none of us liked to leave at all! It was an evacuation trip - sounds like a road trip or something! In the wildest dreams wherever I've imagined of living a royal life, I'd never imagined I'd be treated like this, under these circumstances, where in, the people arranged shuttle services from the basketball courts to the dining hall, on monday, when, few showers were expected toward the evening! A shuttle for a 5 minute walk!

Anyways, we're back, back in Beaumont. The place looks barely touched by the hurricane. So much for all the hoopla about it. Gustav is currently a tropical storm, somewhere over Dallas, and Louisiana was saved of the bitter experience.

The journey

2008-08-10T04:37:00.000+05:30

Having visited as many places as I can count on my hands in India, I have now set my foot on American soil, albeit this won't be a visit for recreational purposes, ONLY, atleast so do I hope. :)

Well, to anyway comment or report on how things are here, or how I feel them to be, would definitely take more time. Having arrived 4 days back, and with a startling no one to see and talk to, apart from my room mates at the temporary accommodation I'm put up at, (really nice guys, i must say) i may find blogs, a nice medium to express my thoughts more. :)

Anyways, I thought the best thing to talk about would be my journey from Bengaluru. Ah.. feels so good to make a mention of that name! Bengaluru. :)

As I said earlier, one can count the number of places I've visited in India, and that doesn't include any place that I'd gone which required me to fly. Which means, this was my first flight. I don't know why, I wasn't EXCITED about going to US, or flying for the FIRST TIME or anything to a great extent. Nevertheless, I'd butterflies in my stomach, probably ten instead of hundred. :P

My flight from Bangalore was at 0955 hours on 4th morning. I'd booked a taxi, which arrived home half an hour before 0530 hours, the time I'd told him to come home. Mahindra Renault Logan. A very very spacious car, I must say. Fitted all my 3 suitcases with great ease. We left home at 0545, and thankfully, there was a very sparse traffic throughout. Bengaluru isn't that very active, thank my stars for that! The driver made an extremely good usage of his ability and the car's capacity, and put us at the airport at 0615. Some flyover, which I wonder was the trumpet(!!) near the airport, was exceptionally good and provided a fantastic view of the airport.

Went in, after admiring the architectural mastermind of providing some 70% natural light into the airport, at all times. This aspect was indeed, the way it has been talked about. As for the rest, i won't know. This was the first ever airport I saw, went inside and checked in, and had absolutely no problems. Wish they provided it with more coin booths for the people waiting outside though. Since it was early in the morning, there were not much people around, and it left me with enough time to critically examine the airport. It left me a little bored - the way they had not projected anything native about the state or the place. I mean, it was only structure and structure. A little more indianisation is what is required of it, I felt.

Anyways, having been told that an irritating ear pop would occur as the flight would take off, I made it a point to have hard boiled confectionaries in my pocket. I boarded the flight. SQ 501. Singapore Airlines. Sat there for some time that seemed like half an hour and the flight started reversing out of the apron. I, immediately put in a candy into my mouth and waited with bated breath for the flight to take off. It taxied and taxied, my god, it still taxied till the candy totally melted in my mouth. Put one more quickly. After all the taxiing, it took a brief moment to stop and then it sped. I clutched on my seat. It kept on speeding and I was constantly looking at the monitor that showed the flight statistics and the window, (oh, I'd a window seat! :)) and it sped till it touched a 200 km/hr and then it took off. It kept on climbing for a long time. The scene from the window was good. I thought of saying breathtaking, but no. It was good. A good 4 four and a half hours later, we landed at Singapore.

YES, YES, and YES, the airport is more than what everyone has told you about, and whatever you have heard about it is very true. In one word, its HUGE. H-U-G-E. What was breathtaking was this airport built a new terminal, and made train routes from the other terminalS to this, published a book on this new terminal, made everything from a swimming pool, to gardens, to theaters even to a live piano recital. You need to see it to believe it. Its beautiful. Unfortunately, the city tour registrations were closed and fortunately, i'd to spend my whole 9 hours at the airport. :)

Flight SQ62. 0215 hours. Singapore to Houston was one more journey I looked forward to, coz the flight would probably move through the airspaces of around 20 countries. This flight took a different route to Houston. It went over Moscow.

By the time SQ62 took off, it was night and a delight to look at Changi International Airport's night view. The journey however, was boring. My body and mind had by then accustomed itself to something banal, and the food, the TV, everything started to bore me. Moreover, it was the incomprehensible gibberish that was used as a medium of speaking that drove me crazy. Russians had like stormed the plane! I was hoping we would be able to beat the sun to the time zone change, and that never happened. :P

We flew over Bangladesh, north India, maybe Nepal or China, (had dozed off by then), the many 'ISTAN's we have beyond our borders, and finally entered Russia. Moscow took eternity to be visible and then eternity seemed close, but the airport didn't! Clouds. Rain. Heavy Rain. Braving all odds, our captain landed at Domodedovo International Airport at Moscow and though we were bound to Houston by the same flight, we were supposed to get down, and board back, looking at the airport, all in an hour and a half. The airport was full of flights. Flights that were operated by carriers that I'd never, ever heard of. I was fortunate that there were a couple of them that I could atleast read! The flight taxied for a very long time till it finally stopped. My impression was that the airport would be very big. Alas, it was disappointing. The ambience. People all over shouting, talking in a language that put German to shame. It had all the world's tongue twisters in it, and it was mixed with murderous, cynical looks, mostly the types Sir Hopkins gives. Welcome to Moscow. No other airport in the world, i guess, would send "TRANSIT" passengers through a cabin baggage check, atleast not after landing. (Hell, they didn't do that in Houston!! AMERICA!!) The lady made me remove my belt and thankfully, it was limited to only my belt!

We thought of taking some pictures of these dastardly looking creatures, but what if that is also an offence there? We asked for permission (!) (I found another Houston bound Bengaluruean in the flight) and the female looked at us with such disgrace and contempt that clearly said, "What in earth's name do you mean by wanting to take a photo? You have the slightest clue where you are? You even have it in you to ask such a question? Scamper off before I put you under interrogation and have you arrested". In short, the look, was, indeed, TERRIFYING.

Without bothering to give a boarding call to passengers traveling to Houston, the boarding had started. OK! I know where I'm. No complaints! There was an interview! In a language that i could comprehend! English! American English! The guy asked me what my purpose of travel was, and why i was there and whose bag i was carrying!! (?) You could call that a Pre-Immigration Check! :D

Clear to board the flight, we went up hoping if the air-hostesses would have a same menacing look, but no! We were disappointed. The pilot announced that thunderstorms were expected in Houston, by the time we land, and we took off from Domodedovo amidst heavy rain. This route was fun. I can say with pride and great pride that no one would ever have travelled, ever, in such a 'world-tour' route. From Moscow, we went over Finland, Norway, Sweden, touched Greenland, (well, almost), over Canada, and finally the US. Houston is at the south of US, so, we travelled over most of the states and finally landed at Houston, a full 30 minutes ahead of schedule. There was moderate rain, but nothing compared to what we saw in Moscow. What I didn't know was the amount of torque people back home, in three different time zones went through, when I was watching Iron man on TV somewhere over Norway.

Thunderstorm. With my sisters, one at California and the other at Phoenix, by brother at Canberra, and my mom back home, all over their computer screens, spanning over various time zones were scanning the map of the USA, wherein a thunderstorm, a tropical thunderstorm had hit Beaumont - the place I'd go to, later in the day, from Houston, to my University, and within no time hit Houston too. I felt nothing en route, though having a window seat, i sometimes saw the wing go missing in the clouds as we came close to Texas.

Having flown over many countries that a person would probably never, in a first flight that too, I'd say that this journey was fun only during the take off and landing. The rest of the journey was a bore. I couldn't even make out that the plane was moving! Forget the speed!!

With that said, I'd get back, maybe in few days time and say how it feels to see NO people around, NO familiar sounds, and how humid and how scorching the sun here is, and how it makes me wonder as to why the sun sets at 8 in the night.

Are you glad?

2008-07-04T18:06:00.002+05:30

P.S.: (Of course i mean Pre Script :P) The first time i'm giving such a weird title to a blog [:D]

There are countless things happening throughout the world, at the same time. Family litigations, land feuds, technological advancements that would enable anyone to sing and make it appear like a seasoned singer, or the ones that allow you to take a sneak peek at the neighbour's house from a satellite view, endless allegations made by systems of bureaucracy across the planet, molestations, murders, accidents.. the list doesn't seem to end!!

Yes, most of our inquisitive brains like to know of all these so that we can be prepared. Prepared against what would, or what could occur to us. Time is unpredictable, you never know what can happen, right?

Knowledge apart, what one tends to forget in due course of time is how blessed one is. Blessed in terms of having a plate to eat, and importantly, having something in that plate, having water to drink, and a place to sleep. Alas, the very hectic schedule and timelessness coerces every individual to stop and take notice.

There would be someone at home to pamper and take care, that is when it is disregarded. Like it is said, the true value of a thing or a person is realised only when they are away. Only a person who doesn't get to eat everyday can describe how it feels like when he eats a stomach full of food. Only a child craving to have something he likes for a long time can tell how much he would preserve what he yearned for, from such a long time. Only someone who narrowly missed an accident would best explain what could have happened.

Luck depending, most of us are fortunate enough to have all goods in the life, but still end up complaining. Next time a morsel of food is wasted, think of the young children in remote places, who don't have access to even a quarter of what you have. If helping them is beyond the reach, one moment of prayer, another of thought for these poor little people can be done. At the same time, for the goodness of state of mind, it is necessary to think and rethink that how glad we are.

Bengaluru unplugged.. absurdity at the peak!!

2008-05-01T09:46:00.002+05:30

Initially, i thought matters like these were too trivial to even bring up a discussion forum about it. The headlines of today's edition of TOI proved me wrong.

There have been various suggestions, criticisms, little extolment about the various factors taken into consideration about improving the connectivity to the new international airport at Bangalore. For starters, (though the people around the world are aware), Bangalore, now Bengaluru, started the construction of an International Airport, in the north of the city, which is supposedly ready but, hasn't started commercial flight operations yet.

Connectivity has been a major issue since the BIA hit the headlines, because the airport is pretty far from the city. However, the municipality swung into action and decided they would do something better than what already is. Bingo. Magic box underpasses came along, with one operating already, along the road to the airport. It was delayed, the municipality was lashed.

I strongly felt and still feel, that the series of underpasses that have been planned would do a real magic, but who has the patience these days? We fail to realise that to get something, we need to sacrifice few things.

Anyways, the main HEADLINE that instigated me to write this blog was the reaction to the other airport in Bangalore, which is already operational. People wanted the other airport to be used for domestic flights, and the new one for international flights ONLY. Ok. This looks nice. It is a nice proposition. What followed, doesn't.

The central ministry gave a nod for this after a lot of dilly-dallying because of some contractual obligations. Only today I read in the paper that a certain section of people feel that 70% of domestic flights should operate via the old airport and 30% of it should operate via the new one. Why? Because it is difficult for people of North Bangalore to travel all the way to the old airport, for a domestic flight. Similarly, isn't it difficult for people of South Bangalore to travel all the way to north for a flight, that is say, individual of the 30% selected? This seems intolerably outrageous to me. Why don't they insist the government to provide them with helipads and airstrips on top of their houses? Could serve the purpose.

There is something being done for the betterment of people and all over, there is someone trying to pull it down. This sheer display of absurdity, in due course of time would only complicate the process and confuse the people. Didn't the people from North Bangalore have to travel all the way to the old airport when the new one wasn't done? All cribbing is only because one has a choice.

PATHETIC is all I can say about the proposal, and i'll see what I can say when some decision is made, now that more woes add to the melee.

Nostalgia............

2008-04-14T21:45:00.003+05:30

The way things happen these days has considerably changed from how they were happening earlier. I guess, desultory change is beginning to like me [:P]. Thankfully, of the many things that keep treading here and there, few turn out to be so eventful that one forgets if he/she has to thank the stars for that, or any person or the like!

I happened to go to this Telugu movie called 'Happy days' with a friend of mine - Kiran. Why is it mentionworthy? Simply because, i don't follow telugu that well, and the decision to go to the movie was made in a very short time. I somehow take a fancy toward fast decisions. There's no thrill in planning stuff you see. [;)]

The movie is a very good movie. In short, it was about the four year hostel life (that was like four weeks) during our engineering. I won't bother to talk about how good or sound it was, technically or the acting prowess of any of the actors, because, that is not what i intend to do, atleast not here. When Kiran and I got out of the cinema hall, there was a feeling.

A feeling, that i can still sense. In a jiffy, i could see myself, furiously moving up and down the hostel corridor, talking to all my friends, having the time of my life, all changes that hostel life made of us (please, don't minutely bother to relate this to the hostel movie, which i saw just a few days back!!), the variegated attitudes, myriad types of people we got acquainted ourselves with... GOSH!!! 4 years. FOUR years. Gone in a snap!

That day, i wanted to listen to "Those were the best days of my life" over, over and over again. I had heard it earlier, but, you can relate best to a song when you get the same feeling. It just gives you goose bumps when the frequencies match!

The impact the movie had on me was tremendous. Even today, after around 3 months of watching the movie, i can sense an urge in myself to revisit my college days!

Relations made, relations broken, misunderstandings, ego clashes, petty impish fights, bonding, a feeling of 'wanting to make a difference', midnight talks, skipping dinners because of them, waiting for fests to participate in them, taking responsibilities, mimicking professors, lamenting over results, the first mobile phone (for many), the incessant messaging, those novels in class, i can go on and on!!

Bryan Adams was right, 'those WERE the best days of my life!'.

Cut to the present.

People claim to not have time! I wonder how, i wonder why! Relations made fail to sustain, distance wears them out, distance, not only by metres, but also by communication cessation, barring the few people who needn't be in regular contact to maintain the rapport, few people in contact, also makes the misunderstandings, the clashes and fights look thin, in stark contrast; the feeling of 'makin a difference' still is, but, it gets classified as 'looks good, but difficult to do' category, no fests, no tests, no results, no midnight talks, no time!! Conversions of prepaid sims to postpaid, "Hey, when i can call and speak to you, why should i message?" Sounds familiar? Oh yeah, it does. How frequent is it being put to use? [:)]

On a second thought, the days keep rolling by, and it is upon the individual to make the best of everyday, rather than cherishing something already had. Its not wrong to enjoy, but, in the enjoyment of the memories, one has to remember that one needs to create more memories to enjoy later, which incidentally, is NOW.

Life is short indeed. Time keeps flying. Fun and enjoyment should rule over it, rather than cribbing and overthinking.

I made a mention about relations not 'required' to be in contact. They are special. When you feel that it is such a burden to maintain the relation, revisit your GoldEN days and see what you had, and what you have. You'll know what to do. Go ahead, don't wait for tomorrow to tell THE person how much he/she means to you. Don't let time get ahead of your thoughts!

Instant blog?? naaah.. ;)

2008-02-24T21:50:00.004+05:30

I've always maintained that every person on planet earth is blessed. Everyone can do some unique thing that no one can do. But the only thing is, how soon in life can a person get to know with what he's blessed???!!

There are inborn talents, there are hard workers, both, a rarity. I take the privilege of calling it a rarity, coz, one needs to be really blessed for having been bestowed upon with immense amount of talent. A person may intently feel to learn dance, and that, would definitely prompt him to do so. After having learnt and successfully having practised, if he doesn't apply his mind in what new he can do, then, its neither talent or hard work. Its just waste. TOTAL WASTE.

The world moves fast. These days I wonder if it has surpassed the speed of the rotation of the earth. Everything is instant. Instant coffee, instant water heaters, instant mix, instant, INSTANT!!! Things have to be fast, shouldn't they? Of course yes, there's no time for anything. Time is so precious!!

Getting a little research done on superior "instant" technology wouldn't do much harm. The main problem lies when the "instant" travels a little deeper into our lives. Over a period of time, the entire temperament of the population has taken a toss. We need instant fame, instant money, instant mass recognition and what is being done for that? Sitting on a couch, watching the TV, with a bottle of beer for company, and maybe a little of this and that to go along. What did you say? Instant fame? Now those are some cool steps you are following. KUDOS!

Cricket fans, soccer fans get terribly worked up when something that their HERO does, upsets them. "Oh shit, he should've done it that way. He should've passed the ball to this guy, and the stupid ass did the other!" SHOULD. Hmm.. "Holy cow! They couldn't chase a target of 235? On that pitch? We've a horrendous team!" Dude, they did atleast that. What did you do? Sit here and comment, from a place that is 1000 miles away from him? Come on, if you know you have it in you, go ahead and become his coach!

Reality shows have witnessed a boom that probably software also didn't see a couple of years back. No doubt that it has produced one hundred singers, or dancers and allowed them to be exposed into the ugly world of spotlight. What I wanna know is, even the winners' names aren't remembered, what good will the runners be remembered for? Numerous judges, waiting to whip each others' asses on TV, get so damned impressed with quite a few that even the ones not having any opportunities themselves, promise the 'star of tomorrow' with a tonne of promises. What happens? Media hypes it up, the participant gets overly confident, ten days down the lane, he's gone.

My whole point is, if you have it in you, and you really think you can do something, do it! No cone else can! You don't need publicity to do what you do. How many of us require people to know that we brush our teeth? It just takes a little time for each one of us to connect with what we really want in life, and what we can do. And trust me, nothing in the world comes to anyone with a price. You need it, and you think you can do it, only doing it would help atleast a little. The price you pay? Patience, time, hard work, sweating, practising, anything! If that something is what one wants to achieve, that someone wouldn't want to take it the easy way. If anything you got is instant, the time for which it'll stay with you will also be for an instant. Someone rightly penned, "Hard work is the only key to success".

Name it as you want to

2008-01-15T21:51:00.000+05:30

Circa 2007
INDIA. The word is so synonymous with bollywood movies, rich songs and dances, corrupt bureaucracy, unruly traffic, all over, a total mayhem, pending court cases since god knows when, few cities that have displayed immense courage over serial bomb blasts, few cities that have adopted the stance of INDIA will remain like this, like it or hate it, few cities that have developed a sort of self sustainment, few cities that have risen to fame in their arena of specialisation

Circa 1830
INDIA. Quoting Lord Macaulay, in his address to the British parliament - "I have traveled across the length and breadth of the country and I've not seen one person who is a beggar, who's a thief. Such wealth I've seen in this country, such high moral values, people of such caliber, that i do not think we would ever conquer this country, unless we break the very backbone of this nation, which is her spiritual and cultural heritage, and, therefore, i propose that we replace her old and ancient education system, her culture, for if the Indians think that all that is foreign and English is good and greater than their own, they will lose their self esteem, their native culture and they will become what we want them, a truly dominated nation"

Hmm.. now, the part till the 'unless' comes is something!

We marvel at the EFFICIENT traffic system of countries having them. We blame our politicians and traffic police for not maintaining and streamlining the traffic. There are various engineers commenting on what or how better things could have been, if it were different. COULD! sigh!

We go as enthusiastic audience to an Enrique Iglesias concert, or an Iron Maiden concert (Maiden, man!). When Shubha Mudgal or Kadri Gopalnath perform, we're like, huh? who?

We need speed in everything we do. Instant food, instant water heaters, the darn computer is too slow, put more GBs of RAM into it, travel fast, so fast that keep going even when the signal becomes red, keep moving, and of course keep honking, [Duh! do I have to say that?] without even caring about the old folks crossing the pedestrian crossing.

Folks at home want their kids to be fast too. 'Be fast, and give me quality too. You won't survive in this competitive world kid! You need to do something great!'

Bangalore - The Silicon City of India, The next Singapore!

BALLS!

What am i coming down to? Attitude. All of us want more for whatever little we give. We hardly care about the traffic, coz its always easier to put the blame on someone else. Gives us a feeling that we are not responsible for what has happened. But where is this going? The downfall of us, the only people responsible.

I agree traffic is not an issue that can be solved by one person. You may like to follow traffic signals, [I'll say like, coz that is how its BECOME here] but someone may not want to. Why? coz no one is looking :) It bemuses me all the time how people manage to put up such a careless demeanor on their part. With the signal still red, people incessantly keep honking. Its like a time-pass to wait in the signal. Finally, it becomes green and what do people do? their hands are still on the horns, not on the accelerator! The guy behind this guy notices that the signal is already green! SHIT! Its green! Why isn't this guy moving? Come on! Come on! honk honk!! Now the guy in the front has already moved. This guy has so fast response to stimulus that he is still honking, instead of moving. Result? A Chain reaction ensues. Tell me, can the police help in this? Why don't people realise that moving at the instant of green helps, rather than honking? A coupla days back, i saw an old couple crossing the road. there was this huge scorpio wanting to take a turn, and this guy kept honking persistently! Why? Has time taken the sensitivity off the people?

These are questions and incidents that only we can answer to, or be held responsible. It becomes inevitably important that we take steps before the already fully grown tree starts developing diseases.

With Lead India going on everywhere, merely watching the small kid trying to do the impossible task of moving the tree alone, or listening to Mr. Amitabh Bachchan's inspiring speech, or just by voting for the contestants on the Lead India programme, we would not actually LEAD INDIA. This isn't a programme's title or a caption or a quote.

LEAD INDIA is a phenomenon.

LEAD INDIA marks the culmination of a hitherto developing nation.

LEAD INDIA is a feeling that should make others look upto us, and pose a stiff competition.

LEAD INDIA! Is all this possible? Am i being PRACTICAL? I wouldn't answer. I would wait for answers, in terms of actions.