Aim? Achievement?

Tsk tsk. That part where I lament for having missed yet another month. But what the hell, I really didn't even notice time flying by.

Anyways, hello to the blog world. Aah. It feels good to write again. I'm not implying a hiatus of a year. But one a month is kinda widely spaced apart and no matter where I write, its not like I make an online account of it. Ok, i'll simplify that. I missed writing. :)

Thought of some random rambling to do tonight, here. I know I've missed out on accounting many a important detail that happened this year so far, and gosh, its already been 1/3rd of this year.

I was wondering on my way back from college today. That reminds me, I always loved traveling. Never had I imagined I'd have to travel this long everyday. Destiny heard it in a different way, I guess. Oh hell, I must've lamented hell lot of times over my traveling. That was not what I intended saying anyways.

Achievements. Ambitions. Aims. Its all a very clichéd thing that all of us have heard, few of us have 'achieved' or few of us have 'tried to'. Be it anything, in any field. All said and done, sometimes, it feels like utter nonsense to me. Its not like money where most would want to make a million more after a million, or a trillion more after one. But achieving something is different.

Its like you plan for a really long time, the time scale depending upon the plan, exponentially related, and in most cases, a careful execution. Be it in love, in music, in art, in any form, maybe not so much time in research, or you'll be too late for the train there. But my point is, you plan to reach a goal. Its all hunky-dory and exciting, maybe at times challenging and demoralizing, but a strong minded person would still get there. What next?

I get lost here many times. What do we do after we achieve? Make new goals brushing aside what we already have is the right solution I can think of. Maybe that is the only way out of it, for a person who likes challenges. For, the others might simply revel in the momentary success and forget what to do next. That is when it gets meaningless.

Achievements are again very relative. Modesty and honesty apart, I really haven't been to that state where in I think I've to get to a different level. The first level aim is itself growing as wide as the atlantic (or is it the pacific?) that makes me wonder every time if I'll get there ever. Maybe with doing many things and stressing myself out to the point where my body and mind demanded rest, I've learnt the hard way that no matter how good one is at multitasking, he has to be equally good or even better with having patience. Its no child's play managing umpteen tasks. Expectations only play spoilsport.

So, there it is, a feeling of completing a blog. An achievement? Depends on how you look at it. Haven't been writing since 4 years or so for nothing. It all is relative eventually, I still maintain.

Hello 2012!

Well, it doesn't feel good to not having written something in Jan. The same sickening feeling one would get to go to school on a Sunday or having a holiday on the first day of the week. On a second thought, it doesn't feel good to start the first blog of the year on a negative word :D


Lemme try and redo this then.


2012 February. THE month of the leap year. Till now, I must say, I've had a great time. First long drive by car. First music festival (in that scale) in India. [I'm not surprised I didn't write about Storm Festival yet, took me freaking 8 days to get out of that hangover]. First year anniversary of being an academician. Naah. Doesn't suit my image. Yet. :) [Not since I got rid of the pony]


With no apologies for not having written about Storm Festival, which I intend doing soon, by the way, I'll probably start rambling now about how the year passed and the like.


It feels great to have completed something. That said and done, I've never really maintained that I've completed learning something. Technically speaking, one can't finish learning, IMHO. Be it even 50 years of doing the same thing, there's still something that is unexplored. Like what the band and I, on separate instances discovered during composing songs. I mean, in the initial stages, I'd given up just because I thought its the same 7 notes that can be played around with, how much different can it be. Today, I like to think that I'm in a much better position. High hopes? This year would probably talk more about that.


Yet, the human mind and the human attitude gets a sense of triumph on completion of something. Say a loan. Say a research paper. Say a song. How radically different each of these are is what I immediately realized. Most people I guess would dread completing another year of their lives. I don't. I mean, how different will it be if not for the number of years. After all, its nicer to think that you are more experienced with age. Probably a typical thing one would say after coming to terms with it. :)


This one year of completion has made me realize that my topmost priorities - Research, Music and Workout, [If you are thinking if I even have a life, I very much do] though different, have the same effects when given a lot of time and dedication. Hell, anything in life will pay off once its done with proper dedication and effort. For example, the first time I travelled to college, I'd headache. Can't believe I've travelled for about 30,000 km just for work. Not counting the other trips. So these few lines served as just a space eliminator.


I must have summed up whatever happened, in a typical year ending December blog, have forgotten. But its very tempting to do it again, will resist the urge.


Made this list of things to be done in 2012, maybe with special interest to all dates before 21st December, but couldn't manage to write one blog a month. Really, if the doomsday happens at all, people won't even get fossils of my dedicated blog entries. Its time maybe I started engraving.


So lets see how much of my wish list is realized this year. Will surely keep the blog followers updated on that. Let me complete the negation with which I started this blog. That way, we'll have only a non negative entity floating around in the next blog. Why the hell didn't I start learning the guitar earlier in life? I mean by the time I discovered what I really relish, my mind runs faster than my fingers!

Here it is again!

Here it is. That time of the year. When the whole world revels, a few sit back and relax, a few ponder over what happened in a year that seemed so short.

I know for sure, yet again, I'm not in the first category. When someone asked me what my plans were for the new years, I'd told, as I recall, 'Plans generally go kaput. Let's see how it goes.'

Well, they did go kaput, to an extent. :P

Anyways, I'm at home, as usual, this time around too. Nothing's much changed this year. Hell, it moved on faster than any of the years.

Eventful? Yes, definitely. Few worth telling out on a public forum, few, clearly not. A detailed account can be searched about in my earlier blogs, for really patient people once they are back from their hangover.

I have this strange urge to get all philosophical this time around too. But I'll hold myself back. Don't want to sound like a 50 year old already, considering the alliances I've been getting (so far, at least).

I'll probably welcome the new year with music. I don't see any better way to do it, as of now. Till then, a movie probably.

But I'm more excited about what 2012 will bring about. Importantly, the December 21st part of what has been doing the rounds for quite sometime now. I remember being as excited about it, the first time I got to know about it. Can't wait to be a part of history. I think I'll be one of the very few people to be disappointed if nothing happens as per the Mayan end of days. Nevertheless, this year will see a lot of unfinished stuff getting completed, of which I can assure I'll keep the blog world updated about. Hopefully, I'll do something that I've never done before this year.

Here's wishing all of you a very Happy New Year. May you all have a good time (partying, for today and,) throughout the year. 

And life goes on..

When its been quite long since I'd have rambled and written something, I generally go back to see what I've written. The mere thought of Jobs and his effect still makes me shiver and wells up my eyes.


But, life goes on, so will Apple, atleast for 5 years or so. I wish them all the luck.


Anyways, November is almost over, and like a dutiful blogger, I was determined to not miss writing one. Life's been pretty hectic, but fun, nevertheless. 


I attended my first conference, not sure if it was the first I attended, but for sure the first in which I participated, as in, presented my work to an expert audience, waiting for them to shred my work to pieces that can't be collected later on. Surprisingly, of course with assistance from my guide, my work wasn't shredded to pieces, it was not lauded either, but it was not shredded. I discovered a very different approach in the way conferences and people are dealt with, compared to how it is done in the US. Not that I went there again, but interaction at such a level hadn't happened here, for me to relate to it any earlier.


The conference was at the campus of IIT, Roorkee, which we reached by train (phew!). Easily one of the best campuses I'd have ever seen till now. It looked like a pukka student atmosphere. Missed my hostel days, those night walks, those endless midnight talks et al. Its hard to believe sometimes that I'm back in college, on the other side of the class, as one of my dear friends put it across for me.


Haridwar and Rishikesh were two places we were able to go to, owing to time constraints. Rafting on the Ganges was probably one of the most humbling feeling I've ever got. I mean, we've read about the river, know that people worship it, know of the mythological significance it has in an Indian context. Not that I'm an all believer, but still, the word means purity to me. Standing there all decked up and ready to raft was an unexplainable feeling. I sometimes think I dwell too much on the psychological part of the effects of inanimate objects, I'm trying to figure out why. Maybe its the inkling to write a song. Maybe. Rafting was fun, indeed, but the news that came to me later that day wasn't. 


After Jobs' death, I was shocked by 3 other deaths. All people whom I revered if not idolized. All people whom I loved and respected, if not worshipped. All stalwarts in their own might. Ghazal maestro Jagjit Singh, Bhupen Hazarika, the voice that still resonates in my ears, and today, just today, Ustad Sultan Khan. Bhupenda passed away the day I rafted on the Ganga. The song that he had created, the song that brought about a wave of something over me, back in my engineering days. The song that Nani and I would discuss about, for a long time to come.


Jagjit Singh ji was the life of ghazals for many. I shamelessly admit that I'd not heard of many of his ghazals, probably owing to my extremely poor knowledge of the language, which would result in totally being unappreciative of the nuances of finer words and the way in which they were used. I loved his voice though, that deep baritone is equalled by few.


Ustad Sultan Khan was another different but remarkable singer. I first heard him in Piya Basanti. Discovered that soul is the most important essence of singing, even if you have the most melodious female voice singing along with you. Discovered the Sarangi because of him. Sang Albela Sajan a zillion times, which made me get selected in a number of places. 


I mean no offense to anybody, but these weren't people whom I idolized. I respected them and learnt immensely, but it was not heart shattering, because I've not been able to make myself aware of the entire database of their potentiality. I shiver with trepidation when I think what would happen when people whom I adore, worship and consider indispensable prove me wrong in matters of longevity. Not that there won't be a similarly talented being on the planet. But that there won't be anybody as close with dedication and passion, a rare quality these days.


So, life does go on, on and on. It takes sometime after the initial grief to realize that life's indeed so unpredictable and lets get on with it, take reigns, let the horses control it sometimes, but enjoy and live it to the fullest.

Jobs!

I really don't intend to make this a eulogy, I'll really try not to.

My first tryst was with the Powerbook G4 or G3, I don't remember. My brother had got it from Australia in mid 2005 sometime, on his vacation. I didn't have a clue how to use the machine, I guess that is exactly why I was flummoxed. He let me use it purely for Garageband, and in the next few hours, I'd recorded bits of 3 songs. I'm not saying I was a wizard, I'm not saying that was the best software I ever used, but I'd say boy, it was fun using it.

6 years later, I own 4 of apple products, God has been very kind in that regard. I follow each minute detail of apple, their product launches, press conferences, the WWDC, its almost uncontrollable excitement, every time. The like I've only experienced when I'd to propose to my ex girlfriend, or when I'm on stage, ready to deliver my first song.

I can't even begin to say how my respect and admiration for Steve, grew, over the years. The way life took its course on him, the way he took back the reins of his life, the way he stood by (sometimes irritably), the way he innovated, just about everything. Maybe, most of the things. Its actually unfair to sum up his achievements and his vision in a few words, by somebody who just admires him, knowing nothing about technology and marketing.

Just a few days back, before the iPhone 4S released, I was thinking that all great people we have today are old. They created their own mights, in their fields. We all look upto them. It was a very disturbing thought that they were old and vulnerable and if I may, fragile. It would surely create a void, in their absence. Voids aren't always good. Even if there are people ready to fill in, it'll take an awfully lot of time for me to imagine them filling a void. They could create a new aura instead. But voids remain.

Least did I expect Steve Jobs to fall in that category. I mean, its unreal. Though he has battled for life, for quite a long time, as per media reports, I had always assumed that he is weak, as he looked during the launch of the iPad 2. But never had I assumed that his end was this near. I was glad he took over as chairman and made it publicly known that he won't be able to do justice to his earlier position. Still it didn't strike me. Maybe Steve knew. Maybe.

I have lamented quite a lot that I had never been able to experience the nerve breaking excitement that I'd (partly for Tim) during the last iPhone 4S event, earlier, to witness the iPod being launched in 2001. But I've youtube atleast, that has documented it. For which I can't thank enough.

I've heard people exclaim in awe, I've heard people rue about apple's policies, I've heard Jobs himself say that death is the only thing that we all share. But let me reiterate, its really unfair for someone like me, in fact, I'll take the liberty of saying that its unfair for any of us to summarize his achievements, his visions, his inventions and his aspirations in a few words, a few hours after his death. Its hard to imagine that only 4 years back, the phone was reinvented. Maybe there was a touchscreen akin to iPhone earlier, but its not about a new product. Its all about a new idea for an old product. I don't think it was ever easy to challenge a behemoth like windows.

He was arrogant, he was a taskmaster, he was someone whom you probably don't want as your boss. But he was a genius, he was brave, he was, is and will be admired by generations to come.

September

Ok, this was meant to be my first full fledged blog posting using an iOS device. (a)JM.

September, my most dreaded month had almost, on a couple of times lived unto its notoriety. But I'm forced to change my opinion now. It was bad timing, all the while, for 4 years or so.

Apart from sunny days after a rainy/cold spell in September, (though I am not supposed to say this having been out of India for 3 Septembers), my (current) usual rendezvous with influenza, risen petrol prices, there is really nothing much I can find to complain about September. Alright, I know I'm being too picky. But I already said, September isn't too bad after all :)

On the contrary, its a little productive ;). Our lab facility was inaugurated just a few days back. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to reveal much on my (personal) webspace. But it was something big, and it went on well.

Life's as usual, with busy and interesting spells packed in. Learning experience never ends, guess that is how its like being in the academia. I'm surprised with the speed things are unfolding though. Life's changing gears, maybe similar to the Q7's 8 gear transmission, need to catch up to the speed.

Have been out of reading for a while now, had a really busy schedule. Just started reading Bill Bryson's A short history of nearly everything. This, (you'd know if you've read) is probably the only book of this kind that'll ever come close to being actually p-r-e-s-c-r-i-b-e-d for a curriculum. I mean, its so novel-like. To top it all, its like a sequel to all those history channel videos I've always been fascinated about. Please read it.

That's a wrap for now, will keep the blogworld updated about my next favorite month coming up. Even when it was more than 2 months away, it already boasted of the Metallica concert on a special day followed by my trip to Roorkee. Lets just hope it doesn't fail like September did :)

Au revoir!

The Amphibian

Amphibians. The class of vertebrates that are capable of living both in water and on land. Two radically different scenarios. Why were they made?


There were animals that could just stay on land, there were the ones that could stay in water, swim in all their glory. But, why were, (If I may?) organisms that could exist both on water and land created? Pardon my ignorance, but even if there are human inventions of that kind, they have not been as popular as the Car or the Ship.


The human mind is programmed to do so much more than what is actually done. When entities like amphibians have existed since the Devonian period, much earlier than the human race, merely the human mind should be much capable, rendering everything else pale in comparison. If amphibians were bestowed with a complex body structure that enabled them to stay on either media with equal aplomb, the human mind, over period of time of course, realised that humans couldn't do it and developed accessories and apparatus instead.


The human mind. So creative, yet so destructive.


For reasons unknown to me, a large section of people restrict the potency of the brain to just what is most obvious, what is easiest to do and what the general human perception is. Mind you, it is again a perception devised by the same human mind. While I agree with the principle of doing one thing and sticking to it throughout the life in order to better it over due course of time, it, sometimes sounds monotonous to me. What is more exciting to me is when you can squeeze in enormous amounts of work and creativity in quite a few areas and still, deliver. 


I'm not saying that its an individual thing. The human mind has seen enormous amounts of creative waves in the form of Leonardo da Vinci, who, wiki says, was an engineer, mathematician, artist, musician, painter, sculptor, architect, inventor, scientist, anatomist, cartographer, botanist, writer and geologist. Phew. Now, I'm not sure if wiki is to be believed as a credible source of info, but I remember having read somewhere about his inventions. Giving benefit of doubt to the great artist, I'll take it that atleast 7/8ths of that is true.


Now, I know I'll invite a lot of flak because there are people who have proven their worth in their fields, without insulting their field or other fields. There are numerous people who have proven time and again, that with determination and passion, anything can be achieved. Maybe my perspective toward life is different. But let me reiterate, my potency is not very different. I believe that in a small life of 60 years, if you'll have to look back, there should not be an iota of remorse for not having done something, especially if that something is dear to you. There'll be many things dear in life, which is again a perspective, and purely a matter of choice.


Which is why I envy the amphibian. I'd not say they don't have enough commitments or responsibilities. I'd say they have theirs, I've mine. But I don't think they'd have a complex mind, as complex as their body structure. Welcome, the human mind. The supreme entity that creates problems, emotions and at the end of it all, resolves everything.


P.S. Its very tempting to check this for mistakes, but for the first time, I'm posting it without (re)reading.