State of mind

Well, hello there.

So it turns out that this is the first blog of the year. I was so hoping that I'd open my blog to find a couple of entries already in Jan. But, it turns out that they just ended up as being plans after all. With a gleam of hope that I'd miss my Feb entry by hours, I immediately rushed to open the screen of my MacBook, but seems like it is right on time to make my first blog entry!

I wasn't lying about making those plans of writing blogs. There was Pravasi Diwas that happened in Bangalore in January. I was a little too perplexed with the way things unfolded during those few days around that event. Greenery everywhere, even planted with due care in the underpasses. Like I heaved a sigh of exasperation about how much of effort would go down the drain for some excessive ornamentation of our 'Garden city', which really did, sooner than expected. This was to form a blog in entirety. I don't know how, please don't ask me. Maybe out of sheer frustration, I'd have ended up typing fancy words at furious speeds.

But without planning (like many times), today, as soon as I wrapped up my now-a-relatively-little-bit regular vocal practice (of which I was mighty disappointed), I just thought to myself - I could take it to two extremities. I could sulk that I'm out of touch and ruin my mood, or I could say it was just one of those days when things didn't turn out to be that hunky-dory. Now, this, too is very subjective. It really depends on the state of mind during that part. But, how many times really have we actually rued about things that have happened and not found a way to brush it off saying, 'its ok, it was just a one off incident'. Reminds me I was cribbing about something that had happened for atlas weeks after the incident till I actually convinced myself - with great motivation from some wonderful people around me of course.

I remember telling a friend recently - a quote that I read somewhere in a very disturbed state of mind. You know when you are all a little upset about something, you are trying hard to get rid of it because its affecting your efficiency and all that. So, I was a little preoccupied with some thoughts when I saw this - 'If you are upset about something and really can't do much about it, close your eyes for a minute and think if it would affect you in some way in the next 5 years. If it would, you better pull up your socks together and do something about it. If it doesn't, then you have your answer.' Some quotes like these at the right time can make wonders. In your head. 

We are all human after all. We all err. We all are meant to. Or else we never learn. We never get motivated. Have you ever thought that motivation doesn't come by looking at videos? Neither does persistence. Neither does a state of mind. This reminds of another incident that most of you would have read about - the cockroach story. You know a lady freaks out in a restaurant when she sees a cockroach at her feet. The dude next to her freaks out too, and as a chain reaction, all people start scampering and shouting. The poor cockroach, oblivious to all the commotion is trying to find a place and running pillar to post. A waiter comes along, confidently picks up the cockroach by the antenna and throws it out. What was on display here? The waiter's ability to not get affected by the cockroach, because, duh, it really didn't mean to affect you in any way. So, similarly, state of mind is created by us. We are upset because we let ourselves become upset. We are happy because of similar reasons. We get motivated when we want to, and the days we aren't, we blame it on something silly. Its never an external force. Its all us. Its all inside us.