December 10th, in India, back home, albeit 11 and a half hours ahead of this current season time in US, without daylight saving, was the wedding reception of my elder brother, a family function that involved intense travelling, juggling between two metros, exposure to the temperament of two different cultures amalgamating. It'd have been much fun to attend the wedding that happened 4 days before too, but its not that I didn't wanna go. The chair of my department thought that 'weddings' weren't emergencies or 'special' cases during which an early exam could happen. I had nearly managed to push him further on this regard earlier, till the hurricanes played spoilsport with all my plans. I was DESTINED to listen to the commentary of what was happening around only on the phone, something which I had least expected, much earlier. Close friends made it a point to attend the wedding, though. But who can replace me? ;)
Actually, who can replace anyone?
Rhythmica - IISc's band, the band on which you can expect a blog shortly, has given me a lot. Heck, it even brought the best critic (or should i say worst? :P) to one of the shows, and the critic gave a thumbs up to the quality of music that could be produced on stage. Strictly speaking, I'd only one good solo song throughout my tenure at IISc. The amount the band gave me back, without me giving anything at all is probably what was destined to happen too. I was flabbergasted at the way things could be looked at, and trust me, it was the best band I'd ever been in, till now. I'd be wrong if I'd say it doesn't pinch me when I'm not a part of the shows Rhythmica organises. I'd have to satiate my desire and frustration by telling myself that I've come here for a reason, and I know that I'd roll out something off my stable, pretty soon. Or atleast, I hope so.
The day after it snowed, (it actually snowed through the wee hours of monday morning), the snow settled on the rooftops was melting, which further plummeted the temperature. It was like the sun was just there, without any credibility on its part to make us believe that it can actually cause convection and heat up the cold air. Standing in the sun didn't do anything good. Standing, by itself was not a good option that day. I was walking. I probably had 4 layers of clothing on, gloves, and a beanie, which was barely sufficient to keep me warm. I'd to chew gum willingly or unwillingly that day, to keep my face from getting jammed. Jammed because of the extreme numbness my exposed parts were experiencing. I zoomed out from a camera on top of my head in stages, and saw brilliant white matter strewn in the first, large buildings and an unrecognisable me in the second. The further zooms made me look at stuff from a totally different perspective. I saw myself, 15000 miles, 24000 km from home, walking on a strange land, a land in which I wasn't born, the land away from family and friends, where you'd to fear mugging, live amidst racial discrimination, run away from hurricanes, stay as a loner most of the times. One of my friends once said, "Aye, you like only the place where your friends are." I'd never found it difficult to make friends. My ego, that day didn't accept what she said, but I realised it later, she was right on the dot. I don't know how or why, I know she was.
A recently read write up by one of my friends on a trek they went to, was so breathtakingly pictorial in my imagination that I felt teleported to the places at times. I literally felt myself listening to them talking, reacting, feeling those exhilarating experiences with full vigor.
It makes me wonder. All this for nothing? Or all this for something? The time I'd to spend with people close to me, replaced with exam tensions, projects, presentations and now, vacation which simply bores me to death.
It makes me wonder how things shape up in life, without a slightest inkling toward what would happen later.
It makes me wonder, how you need to survive to live, how you need to change yourself to adapt yourself.
It makes me wonder how good all this would do to oneself. How the land of opportunities would bestow its luck or fortune or how soft a stone it'd give me to carve a mesmerising future out of it.
