Success

The topic seemed so relatable in my head that I actually had to search if there were more than 5 blogs of the same name, but on the first scan I couldn't find anything. And so, I proceed.

This year going on a breakneck speed, we enter the last month in a few minutes from now. Or maybe this blog might spill over to December 1st. It all depends on the flow of thought. But today, I really felt like writing this. It is probably more of a self note rather than anything else. I'll be happy if anyone else relates to it. If you sense a solution coming out of this, you are in the wrong place. No solution here. Like someone wise (who I honestly don't remember) tells, the problem itself creates the solution. No one and no time can ever give you any solution.

Sometimes, we probably plan out how things should pan out in life. I'm not talking about a day to day plan which is quite tiresome to do, but you know, like milestones and the like. And life as we know it today - I'm talking post 2020, has changed. A considerable lot has changed. Yeah the basic outlook stays, the basic uncertainty baggage that life is tagged with also stays. It certainly however seems like the cabin baggage upgraded to check in. Sigh, someone reading this must think I was a globe trotter. No, I'm not. 

Anyways, when you have made these plans and goals, in all earnest sincerity, work starts toward that goal. There are going to be obstacles. Some that stretch for minutes, some that stretch for years. The true potential of an obstacle is still yet to be explored I feel. But all said and done, more often than not, the plans mostly don't realise. Either the obstacle becomes strong, or a diversion takes place, or one could even realise the goal was itself not worth pursuing. In all the cases, it seems like life wants us to take a path of discovery. A path of self learning. A path which teaches us that the route to the goal is more important than achieving it itself. Now starts the main thing. What is success, really?

The societal stigma of associating success with materialistic stuff is extremely cliche by now. Come to think of it, state of mind can be a success. Or should I dare say, should be the only success. We all know the complexity of the brain. Controlling it to a fairly satiating degree to orient toward a certain something is doable. Life also takes along with it other baggage - Relative success. Something that is as individual as each person's biological clock. This, sadly becomes a matter of concern in the world. At 37, someone could be a CEO of twitter (that just happened today, btw) and at 37, someone might be taking music lessons, trying to learn something afresh. Not all of them have to have 2 kids, a fancy house and a stable job. While people try to paint it with a term of relative success, it is actually relative fanciness of how a person chooses to spend his money. 

Of course it is not all that straightforward. And a lot of other aspects come into play. But what I'd like to tell is that make the journey. Make as many journeys you can. The goal can change. The goal can waver. Hell, it can do a full 180. But during that phase, document your journey. That's the most fun. Could be frustrating now. But it is all there, going on for a reason.

F = m*a

Yes, a little refresher for the Newton’s second law of motion. Rate of change of momentum is directly proportional to the force applied. Now, apply to that to something not physical. That’s the state of mind, especially when you are forced to sit in a place and chill. At least, that’s how my mind works. Come on, you can’t blame me now!

So well, after January, I meet the blogger when May is almost over in a few hours. Guess there was nothing much that happened which triggered an action to write a blog. Or again, I probably forgot with all the written documentations and deadline reports. Maintaining so many documents is a pain in the ass I tell you. Things the mind makes me do. 

I was just discussing with a friend on how my mind is weirdly a Newton aficionado. All creative ideas happen only when I’m quite busy. Not worked up, but busy with work. But take the work off of me and the brain becomes a rotting hell. The creative juices just refuse to flow. I’m not sure if I’ve to train my mind to get busy with other things itself, rather than waiting. Maybe that’s the way to do it. Pursuing a creative art form I think is very challenging. Not about the talent. It’s about how much you can do with what you have. 

I recently (re)discovered an ancient thing. Dedication is more important than talent. And if you have even the slightest liking (love the gerund) toward what you are doing, you’ll find a better way to do it. Not necessarily easier, but a better presentation, a better view. That’s what a consistent plan does. 

While all this sounds so good… Jeez, maybe I need to write in public more often so that there is a change there too. Change is the only constant anyways. Allocate different environments to different things that you do. Especially with the new normal, and the uncertainty looming large over if the old was ever normal, maybe, just maybe, it might be a good thing to train my brain now!

2021

 So the happy new year has happened, although it remains to be seen how happy this one would be.

After quite a lot of expectations about 2020 and considering what it actually turned out to be, i think it was a very small lesson for the entire world which gave big learning on not to actually expect out of anything, out of anyone. The expectation about something upcoming makes one wait. So kinda takes away the whole ideology of living for now. So, all that said and done, it is finally goodbye, 2020.

As a flashback, the customary flashback, a group of friends and I went to Goa exactly a year back, hoping that our vacations would become more consistent and regular. Apart from that, the only other thing that was fruitful was the discovery of a lot of home hair care stuff. This, while also watching the new version of Mahabharat, something that would go on to create a strong influence on and in my life. Other than that it must have been trying to not lose my shit and grappling with the crisis. Oh, and also the teeny weeny start of playback singing that happened toward the end of the year.

New projects, new ideas generally don’t come to me when there is a lot of free time. You’d think it would be a piece of cake if it works like that, but no, destiny obviously has other plans. The busiest day is the day a zillion ideas come up. When there is not enough resource to even document it. And luckily if its documented, the free time tells my brain that the idea was fuck all anyways. So, its kinda back to the whole state of mind. It’s like the lesson learnt. When you want something to happen so bad, it actually doesn’t. 

So now did I want 2020 to end and 2021 to begin? Ha ha. It’s more like a new day from now. That’s the only thing that might save us all.

Let’s see how time progresses.