Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Of all materialistic stuff, or maybe not

Well, one of those days when something strikes you and stirs you up so much that you can't not make note of it.

Years ago, one of my gurus was teaching me a raga called 'Todi'. The most remarkable thing that he told me then was that people can do an alaap in this raga for days. I was, by then singing light music and couldn't have thanked my carnatic roots enough for helping me time and again. I mean, with that kind of a maturity level, you understand what it meant to work over a raga, its nuances and essence over days. I was astonished, I still am. It can be done is alright, but how the hell do you do it!

Today, nothing much has changed. Although, it was a different raga. Madhuvanthi. Its a brilliant composition by St. Purandaradaasa, set in this raga that is mostly responsible for this writing. The thing with art is, the more you discover, the more humbling it is.

The kruthi itself, karuniso krishna is a cry to lord Krishna, coaxing him to shower a little of his blessings to his staunch devotee. I'm not a strong believer of God as a mud idol. I go to temples when there is a concert arranged, or when I need peace of mind. God, for me has always been some entity that reflects in truthfulness and honesty.

What this particular raga did today was something that happens to everyone, sometime or the other in life. You practice religiously the previous day of class, not being scared that the guru would reprimand you, but because you want to be in a fairly relatively comfortable position when trying out different sangathis in front of the guru, which never really works. Despite being fairly satiated with efforts, you start singing, and suddenly, you realise the essence you left un-captured in your rendition. It would either be the bhaava, or sadly, the shruthi itself. 

Then it occurs that music is an ocean. Its not as easy as making 50 lakh today and buying a Range Rover. You feel like getting more inspired and listen to more works. Feel orgasmically drawn to something magical. Sit down to practice. Realise that so much potential is hidden to be tapped. In terms of understanding, in terms of exploring. That humbling experience is something that only art can provide. I feel its more like the passionate folk pursuing their PhD. I know for a fact that research, as it is, is an art and those passionate don't pursue it for money.

On the materialistic side, you have all, if I may adulterated versions of it. Most done for TRP (Target Rating Point) [I swear I had to google to see what it meant], or for pride and glory. But honestly, in today's competitive world, and the short term attention span public has, you get the acclaim and name. It stays for months at the most. Then? You are lost in the imbroglio. Oh, and you don't even make enough to get the damned Rover.

As art lovers in abundance, its the responsibility of artists to stay true to themselves and yearn for the humbling experience atleast once in a while. You don't have to walk barefoot for it. 

As for gurus. They are simply not called so. When people say, you can pick it up on your own, don't learn professionally, trust me, they are wrong. A spiritual connect can't be offered by 'learning on your own'.

Well, so much for now. Somehow after bouts of such thoughts, I wanna do so much in life. But the day ends, gotta travel 58 km in the morning to work. This is life. Its all about striking a balance. 

Saturday, 25 January 2014

Dream?

Is it a dream?
Is it a dream if it appears when you sleep?
Is it a dream if you are obsessed about it?
Is it a dream when you feel you've not gone anywhere close to where you'd to?

I Wish!

Honestly, what is a dream? The lucky ones (read destined) achieve it. The rest are just led about randomly by fate into some kind of imbroglio, and assuage themselves that its one of the right ways they were 'destined' to take. Few faithful associates assure them that they are right.
Who's right?
Who's wrong?

Is it a curse to be talented and try your hand at what you want to do? It isn't.
Is it a curse when you achieve something and try harder for the next big thing and fail? It isn't.
Is it a curse when destiny throws an opportunity at you and a googly with it, and makes sure that you get bowled. Never bowled over. But you've got to bow down and accept it.

Its only not a curse when you don't dream about it.
Its only when you are not obsessed about it.

Confused? :)

Dream. Dream with all your might till its realised. Well, this thing by itself has turned out to be my obsession for the past many years. Dreamt, yes I've. Worked, probably half toward it. I can attribute a multitude of factors to it, but no, the big picture is just that. I've not worked hard towards my dream. Now, would I be able to achieve it if I worked as good? Who'll answer that?

Maybe dreams won't remain as such, neither would perspectives. Human nature of wanting to achieve everything. Wanting to perfect everything. Wanting to emulate the perfect human beings that they consider God. Greed. Its nothing but greed. Greed of dreaming too much. Greed that consumes oneself and percolates into the system, pushing one to believe that its just too much. You've to take it easy. You've to breathe. You're normal.

Is it a comforting thought from whatever driving force controls you or is it your brain accepting defeat. Give up? No, we say. But what do we do after all?

So, what does a normal human do now?
Dream, still. Because a person who doesn't dream is in my opinion missing out on all colourful stuff. All colourful stuff that makes your life, well, colourful.
Its good to dream, because it is in those dreams that your visions are hidden.
Its in those dreams that your beliefs are hidden.
Its in those dreams that your obsessions will find their way to light.

For ones who've found their dream, its a road of peril till they go on to achieve it.
For ones who've not, its a road of peril, for, the confusion they'd have to go through is immense.

What to dream about comes from another simple but extremely powerful entity.

Belief.

A person who really doesn't believe in himself, really has no reason to exist, after all.