March! (pun intended)

Barely. Just Barely.
I'd almost given up, and to augment my laziness, the internet responded a little slower than usual when I'd almost closed the page till the familiar layout showed up :). I must really stop treating blogs like a last minute bill payment, honestly!

But with gym, music, work and other mission'S' (:P) that I'm trying to scrape through, (still), none of them have become regular as yet. Guess I am losing my managing skills or the travel takes the most of my energy. A 3 day workout (at least) has probably seen light of the day (week) a couple of times. Music classes, which I'd been planning since a long time ago, will have to wait till I get back from The US of A.

Oh yeah, that reminds me that I didn't mention. The wholly ugly process of the US visa! I never even had a wildest dream that I'd go through the dreadful process again. Have heard about a lot of rejections off late, will get to know about mine in less than a week now.

Haven't been able to meet a lot of friends, haven't been able to record stuff, haven't been able to keep up promises, haven't been able to meet a few of my goals, but I should say, I'm loving it. I mean, all this happens at breakneck speed. More so, coz I work on Saturdays too. So technically, its just one day in a week that I get to do the most, and people say try and concentrate on one and accomplish it, but I say, I live once, let me try my hand at all of it, as long as I enjoy doing it.

The horrible part of all the 'missions' is the hair washing part, which, simply put, I've no idea how I'm managing with the temperatures going as high as 35 odd, and all the traveling. Well, so far so good. The day I decide I have had enough, there are loads of compliments coming in, so, I believe its ok!

Anyways, I'm off. Hope the next blog wouldn't look as forced. 

The turn of events, if one may say so

Ah! Respite. Finally. :)

I'm employed. Can't really say I went through turmoil for ages, but whatever little I went through, its best if its kept to myself. All in all, I can just say that I'm glad things went this way. There were decisions that I could have taken, in a fit of desperation and frustration, but maybe something inside told me to wait it out, which I did. The rest, I must say, just fell into place. Maybe divine intervention, maybe destiny.

By the way, I'm now Assistant Professor at Jain University. The campus is huge and very nice, about 55 km from my place. There are many best parts about the job, travel included. 55 km would probably take about 2 hours, one way. But there is the college bus, which eliminates the need to drive. The timings make life so easy! The college operates from 8.30 AM to 4.00 PM. :)

The college, the facilities is something I'm yet to explore, but the fascinating part of it is the research going on. I'm in a department called Center for Disaster Mitigation, working on Fire. Mostly safety and the like. There is this huge lab that is being constructed which, ideally should serve for the whole of Asia-Pacific for testing materials for fire safety, one of the important aspects of safety generally taken for granted here in India. So, its the lab that I'll have to take care of, with a little teaching, due to start around 2 years later.

Though I'm all decked in formals, the presence of the pony draws multiple giggles, arouses interest and awe among the student folk. Surprisingly, though Jain prescribes a dress code, they managed to exempt me from it. But honestly, one (or rather, a group) should at the least hold a clandestine short meeting about my pony, unlike what they do now. I mean, its obvious for me and the people I hang around with that my pony is the topic of discussion. Well, way of life! ;)

Faculty and fellow colleagues address me 'SIR', which definitely feels weird. Guess needs a little time. Hell, it feels odd even when a coupla students addressed me SIR!

Well, adios for now, while I'll still grapple with my travel routine, college timings, managing music and my workouts, and most importantly, my sleep.

With half an hour for the day and the month to end, I am grinning ear to ear that I didn't miss February. :)

Random thoughts

Just a few days back, it was the New Year’s day. Didn’t realise its already the 31st! On one hand, had this strong urge to not write a blog, simply because there isn’t anything to write actually. But I realised I could actually choose to do that every time I wanna write. So, I forced myself to write something, just for the record.

Guess its an example straight out of what happens in life. I strongly believe, and I know most of you would also agree that people have tremendous potential and it clearly shows when they are pushed to the maximum.

(Excuse the philosophical rant,

courtesy: Now playing: Dream on - Aerosmith)

In the middle of typical mood swings these days. Today, I feel there is so much to do in life, so much that I’ve rambled on, when alone, that come to think of it, there is actually very less time to do all that. Sometimes, just because of the insecurity that sets in if I would be able to do all of it or not, prompts me to aimlessly drift away from the ‘set’ goal.

Music. Ah. Those 5 magical words. They give joy and another set of 5 letters. Bliss. Earlier,  not much earlier in fact, my rendezvous with music was just going to classes, learning the lessons with utmost dedication, minus any practical application. That changed pretty fast over the years, courtesy, the company I had, the musical repertoire I found myself attracted to. The next phase was spending a lot of time in figuring out how tunes were made, how they applied in other forms of music. How everything is a magical set of just 7 (or 12, erudite musicians) notes. This phase saw no emphasis on lyrics, whatsoever. I guess that is when it all changed.

(Now playing: Aaromale - Alphonse/AR Rahman)

When I learnt what words and expressions in songs meant, I didn’t stop listening to songs that I don’t understand. Music still has taken precedence over lyrics, obviously. Talk about music not being native to any language.

Maybe around 7 years has passed since I started with these phases. Today, I’m a part of a band, and I can say I’m proud to be one of the founding members. What started off as a thought of just creating instrumental pieces changed over time, and proper ‘songs’ were born. Someone recently asked me, ‘It must feel really great no, after composing a song? It’s more like you’ve achieved something.’ No, it honestly doesn’t. When I listen to songs that I’ve already recorded, I think what can be made better in it. More often than not, I get lost when composing a song. I just stop working even if I’m getting ideas and distance myself physically from it. I let it evolve and come to me. This could last from anywhere between few hours, a day or more than a couple of months. Achievement is still something that scares me, especially with something like music, coz what do I do after I achieve?

Today, I’ve a setlist of songs, all waiting to be recorded. Can’t wait to listen them happen.

(Now playing: Feel my love - Vinay Shanthagiri/BlendzZ)

When I listen to a song, a flurry of thoughts get in my head. First the complexity in it, then the expression. When I hear a spectrum of wavelengths of different instruments, the only thing that occurs to me is how much dedication is required and how many hours of practice that artiste would have probably put in to play it to such a degree. At that particular moment, everything, every single thing in life seems bull crap. That is the divinity music has.

Back to some Maiden now, maybe, or, here goes....

(Now playing: Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin)

Ciao!

The end is near :)

Not to end the year on a pessimistic note, but with the year ending in a few more hours, 4 and a half to be precise, couldn't resist the title :).

All's well that ends well. Sometimes its true, sometimes, its accepted out of desperation, sometimes to assuage oneself. But what the hell, all's still well that ends well.

2010 was eventful. Now that I made that statement, all processors in my mind are busy scurrying to find what all 'events' did happen.

Lemme try going backwards.

Today was exceptionally brilliant, with the above statement really making sense and what a finale to the year! Most importantly, what a superb way to celebrate the year eve. For the first time in my life, today, I entered a studio, a recording studio, had musicians play to my tune, recorded with a fantastic sound engineer, (can't say the best, coz he is the first one I worked with). It was an overwhelming experience. I'm sure more emotions would flow, with other instruments coming in after a few more days. Found myself sitting satisfied after a few runs and few track recordings. I think this, till now has been the best new year eve celebration.
(Its actually easy to 'read back' what happened in the past few months, I must have it all written down ;). But let me resist the urge. Few more paragraphs and I'm done.)

There was the bidding farewell to few of my closest friends in the US, the Graduation Ceremony, the thesis completion, the 'almost just missed' defense, the concerts - AR Rahman and Iron Maiden, the trips - Galveston, San Antonio and South Padre, the first anniversaries of both my Mac and the M-Audio keyboard :D.

It always seems a great deal talking about it, all at once or just summarizing the only 12 months that went by. To live each moment, so that it becomes memorable for the next is what many fail to realise.

Suddenly, its all very humbling.

Let me keep the blog short for now.

I wish all people I know a VERY HAPPY AND EVENTFUL NEW YEAR. Hope the year ushers in new awakenings, new sensibilities and new opportunities. I'm no party animal, will stay indoors tonight, I guess. To all revelers, take care.

Life back home!

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Its been a month. Well, more than a month since I came back.

No A/C. No silent streets. No high speed internet. No constant alcohol parties. But, I don’t feel like a stranger in my own house. Probably the only things I miss now are the internet and a few friends. But nothing life threatening. :)

Friends, more so because of the impromptu discussions that would start without a preamble. Because of the impromptu movies we would start, no matter what time it would be. It was a little similar to hostel life. It was fun.

After months of frustration and practically assuming that there was no point wasting time in waiting for the market to pick up, I took the risk, and came back. I’ve heard from people that its much better here, but I’m yet to experience it. I know its a matter of time.

Only how long ever that takes, gets frustrating with each passing moment. Again, as always, there are two sides to every story. I either wake up everyday and crib about my state or see new things beyond what is apparently seen. Like someone said, (honestly don’t know who) ‘One would reduce his vision if there is a lot on one’s mind’. :)

One misconception I’d was that I could barge into any company and just pester them to give me a job. Apparently, the farthest I can probably get is only till the security, which would do no good. Hell, they shooed me out of the Chemical Department of IISc., asking me to mail them first and then come ‘only when called’ :P.

So, its more or less akin to what I had been doing in the US. The only breather is that there are umpteen people who can be talked to and pestered here and there is a much lesser percentage of people ‘fake-promising’. Atleast, so I hope.

[What coincidence! Now playing: Send me an angel - The scorpions]

Nothin much happening otherwise. Musically, we did jam more than a couple of times. We jammed quite a bit, the only period of lull being the last few days. Got my Creative 4.1 speakers repaired, on which I’d lost hope altogether. God Bless that electrician! Feels out of the world to listen to Maiden on these speakers.

Met almost all my friends, felt nice. Not very nice since most are either getting engaged, in the line to get married, married, or celebrating their wedding anniversaries. :D

The best part has to be the food. Ten days of my coming here, had a friend’s house warming ceremony to attend. That was my first rendezvous with sumptuous food. Another house warming ceremony followed. And just recently, there was a big reunion of sorts during one of my friend’s wedding. About 15 of us, most of whom I got to see after 4 years. Felt great. Glad I didn’t miss it. :)

All in all, I must say it feels great to be back. The driving, the pushing and shoving, the food, the sweets, the people, the noise, the crowd, the weather, the dust, the pollution, everything.

Hope something happens on the job front soon! After all, a person who loses faith really doesn’t have anything more to lose.

Aboard the flight!

I’ve always wanted to say this. Aboard the LH 441 from Houston to Frankfurt (though it isn’t my aircraft, it sounds nice when read aloud :P), I am doing what I wanted to do from a very long time. The only thing is that this would be published as soon as I get access to internet.

Any other circumstance, any other day, I should’ve been extremely elated about the fact that I’m over the North Atlantic now, about to land in approximately 3 hours at Frankfurt, en route to Bangalore. Not today. I didn’t say I’m not excited, but not as much. For one, there is the anxiety of not finding a job back in the US and going back to India for good. It is anxiety but not repenting on my decision. I was never too keen on staying here in the US for a long term. Just didn’t know how long the ‘short term’ would last for. The second reason why my excitement is getting masked is because I hate bidding goodbyes. Few relations made, have withstood against the test of time and as most of us would have experienced more often than not, few would just obliterate in oblivion.

I’ve never opened my laptop in a flight. Just thought it was clumsy to type in such a small space with so much constraints. Moreover, I didn’t have anything life threatening nor thought provoking to an extent that I make a record of it. Today is however different, though it is neither. Maybe a little of the second one.

No matter how bad the place is, no matter how much I cribbed, no matter how much I expressed disgust, no matter how much I relished just the thought of getting back home, few people just change the short span of time spent with them that all of a sudden, nothing matters anymore. 

This happened of course, to a greater extent when I left hostel. 4 years of engineering, 4 years of fun, everything just seemed to go away in a jiffy. Memories are all that remain. I so wish that I’d taken more photos. Now that I look back at the photos that I’ve, I remember more, maybe each single thing associated with each photograph. Maybe that is the beauty of a photograph, maybe that is why its said that it ‘captures the moment’.

The same thing happened when I left India to go do my Masters. Coming to the US in hope of a better life was the only way I assuaged myself. You know, Masters - ‘apparently’ a big deal, then finding a job, making money and the like. Come to think of it, though it all didn’t happen to an extent I’d expected, (the greatest mistake of mankind - Expectation) there were a few people, a few incidents that I’d probably never forget. I was just skimming through my photo albums on my iPod and that is when I realised how important photos are, in anyone’s life. From the trips and shows in 2007, to the various airports I went around, from the first snowfall to the hurricane evacuation adventure, about 4 graduation ceremonies, the first fun trip to San Antonio/South Padre (boy, what a trip!) all the cars I drove, the parties at home and basically all that. Hell, I don’t even know if I’d meet all these wonderful people I’d been associated with, for these 2 years in my life again. Again, there would be few relations which will strongly brave the odds thrown around by time and few will just collapse over time, but it will always remain etched in my memory.

Only qualms were the bed bugs and the cockroaches which I don’t think I’d miss to that an extent. :P

Probably the best statement that I’ve heard in these two years is by one of my room mates, Dhrubo. We would have these engrossed discussions about life, about how people change and stuff, about how things that happen are so unreliable and the like. At an apt juncture, he just said, ‘A person who tries, never fails.’ I can’t forget that. It just came at the right time and was effective enough. 

I’ll miss being a part of all those discussions we’d have endlessly, Dhrubo and I initially, till we shifted to another house, when the rest of the gang joined in. It was fun. 

Anyways, I still have about 2 hours to land in Frankfurt. Maybe I should be excited, maybe. And boy, someone was right. This is the first time i’m flying Lufthansa, and the legroom sucks. Can’t imagine how someone tall can sit here!

The BitterSweet symphonies of September!

I'm glad September is almost over in this part of the world. What did poor September did to me? Actually nothing. Frankly, I am not superstitious or anything. I don't believe that there is a lucky pair of clothes or a lucky date as such. That said, Tuesdays and Septembers are always special in their own unique ways. I was born on a Tuesday, and more often than not, out of sheer coincidence, either my final practical exams at college, or the date on which I pay the exam fee or some such important thing would happen on the Tuesday. If I went on Monday, there would be some problem or the other and it would surely work, the next day. Tuesday is still special to me, though I don't initiate any thing consciously on that very day. It just occurred to me now, that the planetary ruler of Scorpio is Mars, and Tuesday is named after Mars.

September. Ever since I was a kid, I simply detested September. For one reason, the freakin' month seemed to take forever to end and wouldn't let October start. I was mighty kicked about my birthday in October but it seems funny now to think so, because my birthday is almost in November :P. The super brain that I'd, failed to notice this. The other thing being that September was the month in which most inactivity was rampant. I'd no friend who had a birthday in September and I didn't know of the birthday of one family member which was in September too. The moment October would start, I'd get all excited. October seems like the best month to me, for obvious reasons.

Only now I repent that I've not had any written account of all Septembers in my life, but I couldn't. I don't think I even knew about blogs till about 6 years back and my first blog entry was probably (had to check) in the OCTOBER of '07. October is such a 'happening' month. It of course reduces one year of my life every time it comes, but I somehow choose to not credit it for that :P.

Just recently, owing to my utter state of joblessness, I went a little back in time to see how the past Septembers were. Turns out that till as back as my memory can go, September has always been Bitter - Sweet. Now, this could've happened in any other month, for that matter of fact, in every month. But I care about beloved September :D.

September 2010. I'm at home in Beaumont, about a month's time after Graduation. The job market hasn't helped me in any way, so far. Sitting at home applying and calling companies all day long hasn't been too helpful either. Most people who've been through this would agree that its at least a little harrowing. With absolute house arrest, socialising, oh, one day, even getting out in the sunlight seemed very strange. That is when I decided to get out every day, at least once. But, on the brighter side of it, September 2010 also had AR Rahman coming down to Houston, giving me an opportunity to see the man himself, live, for the second time. September 2010 also was witness to me taking risk, something I wanted to do, but never mustered enough courage to do so. Situations forced me to. I'm talking about booking a ticket to Bangalore, to go for good. Was that decision Bitter or Sweet? Time will tell.

September 2009. 13th of September '09. One of the things of my big wish list saw light of the day. At 9.30 AM that day, I got my MacBook Pro. One year down and yet, touchwood, it looks new. One of the best things I've ever owned. Also, by then, my now famous dental episode had reached epic proportions and not finding enough options to treat my teeth here, I'd to rush to India for 3 weeks, after stopping eating for about a week or more. On a personal front, this trip was much better than the previous one in July - August. And importantly, I got to meet two old and very good friends that I'd not been able to meet since a very long time. Nani and Harsha. Most friends with whom I'd been going on treks were in Himalayas, and I made sure I met with them too.

September 2008. I was still fresh and new in the US. A month old. We were just back from an evacuation during Gustav. The news next day in the gym showed another hurricane, Ike, which would hit us in about 4 days time. The whole of Texas was asked to evacuate. We were rushed to interior parts of Texas. Houston lost electricity. There was large scale damage everywhere. Notwithstanding the ordeal of staying at a Gym during the evacuation, I flew from there to Phoenix, AZ. Adventures galore during this journey included getting lost trying to find the bus station, traveling to Dallas alone, which was about a 4 hour drive by bus, getting to the airport from deserted downtown of Dallas and spending the night at the airport. It was nice of course, once I reached my cousin's place.

September 2007. I was working at IISc. SIT and IISc have been the best phases of my life, so far. Hope more add on later. On the personal front, September was an emotional upheaval.

September 2006. Fresh after graduating, I was at home, jobless. I'm sure we'd started the band, but can't remember how good we were doing. Maybe, I should say, we were grappling to take a hold of the band, all of us.

That is all I can remember and that is the most I can go back in time. Wanted to have a written account of this so that I can add more to it in the September of 2011. Not that I would forget, but its nice to read it later on.

I'd still say if I probably look at other months too, I can draw something out of it. This 'grudge' against the poor 9th month is probably uncalled for. Who knows, maybe the best things in life later on may happen in the very month of September. Hell, even my birth - day 'Tuesday' could deceive me later on. Only time will tell.