Guru

Guru brahma, guru vishnu

Guru devo maheshwara

Guru saakshaath parabrahma

Tasmay shri gurave namaha

After a couple of failed attempts to write that in Devanagari, I lost patience. I couldn't find the damn half ra. Didn't like it, but had to do it. Its not every time that an idea to blog lasts for 3 days anyway :).

Guru. We all have read enough, few fortunate ones have had the opportunity to interact with one in their lives. Please note, I'm not talking about teachers. Anyone who teaches becomes a teacher. More so in common terminology. Among few things in common between teacher and Guru is that to be both, there is no age requirement, neither there is a rule that only the relatively younger should be obliged to enjoy such a privilege.

Teachers we all have had. Throughout our schooling, throughout our lives, in our family, among friends and well wishers. For that matter, life is itself a good teacher. We make mistakes, correct them in due course and say life taught me this, life taught me that. In effect, I think its time that's making one teach oneself.

Guru is an epitome of awesomeness. A Guru is a visionary. A Guru is the one you are lucky enough to know and wish you knew how to think like that. The first few lines of this blog in Sanskrit say that a Guru is nothing short of God. In fact, it elevates the Guru to the combined effect of the trimurti Gods - creator, protector and destroyer. I think I must have recited the shloka some thousand times in my life, but haven't ever given such a thought to it. Well, better that I did it anyway. 

A Guru, in my opinion is extremely necessary for life to be moulded in a certain way. There are acclaimed people who have taught themselves and achieved immense success. While there's no denying their success or doubting their path to success, I think a Guru would give a fuller meaning to life. No matter what stage of life you are in, having a Guru is probably the best thing to happen. The sad part is, when we are young, we accept it more easily. Partly because of innocence (ignorance, if I may) and partly because at that age the brain is just accustomed to receive, process and reproduce humongous amounts of information. As we grow up, all sorts of filth fill in the mind blocking all clarity. Again, it doesn't mean that it happens with everyone. There's arrogance that comes in, there's ego, there's insecurity with growing age. All this because of the Guru. When I say its because of that entity, it is only because a Guru is the one who can torment you, harass you, laud you, motivate you, demoralise you and troubleshoot your problems. Accomplished people can do all that in one go too :). Once you are grown and about 30 or 40 years old, the sight of a much older man shouting at you is not the nicest scene you'd want yourself, or your family and kids to see you in. That said, I know of people who blindly put faith in the Guru, follow his words to whatever extent is possible, to a sad state where something called as self thinking gets obliterated. I don't believe in such kind of a worship. Few might call me mad, but I'd say no matter how good the Guru is, no matter how hard you are trying to impress him, no matter how hard you strive to get an appraisal, it is to be done with a certain degree of reverence, no doubt on that. But it has to happen with some self indulgence.

Guru is generally termed to people with high qualification and who have such kind of an ability to get you out of, well, basically shit. General work culture and our ignorance (the kind that stays with us after getting old as well) will more often than not lead us to helpless situations. Guruless people would get into depression, the others will just seek advice. Gurus are also termed to entities who practice the divinatory arts. Well, the terminology couldn't be more right. Its remarkable how a Guru can mould you and make the impossible possible in just a few sittings.

If you've not found one yet, keep looking! 

Success - Purpose. Why? How?

Probably one of the few times when I'm writing as soon as an idea was born. This way, there are two possibilities. The usual stuff with impulse is that its either awesome or plain crap.

A tinge of philosophy comes and plays in my mind when I say success and it somehow relates eventually to our purpose in life. What was the purpose with which we made it this far? What is the purpose for which we have been doing things in life, and what is the purpose for which we are all yearning to be successful?

A rather humorous discussion one of my bandmates and I were having about a fortnight ago - purpose. He suddenly suggested what if we were all accidents and there is an entity that looks down and sniggers - 'Fools - you are trying to look for purpose. I wanted to do something and did, it was accidentally you' :).

That apart, I learnt in the first year engineering (Feel employable, 2002, anyone?) that we do not celebrate smaller successes in life. I still remember, we were asked to jot down things we have successfully done since morning. I was blank. The host then said, you've woken up successfully, you've brushed successfully, you've come to the programme successfully, etc. I could only guffaw. I guffawed then, I guffaw now.

I don't mean you mustn't celebrate success. But celebratory rites are different for different folk. I mean, you won't catch me celebrating my first bass riff, my 1053'd laptop charge, that my iPad drained out its battery or that I completed a novel.

Slowly, over time, you come to realise that purpose and success are so interrelated. They are like blood brothers, if I may. You get a brainwave one day that you are destined to do something in life. That's your definition of your purpose. You work toward it. You work your ass toward it. Just having a strong will won't do, I know. I know the hard way. But again, its only the will that can carry it across and make you push yourself. The will to become a photographer, say. Or the will to get creative with each passing phase of life. 

Success then, gets relative. Also elusive. Not to most. To purists and perfectionists. I know with musicians, its a degree closer than other folk - they work on a song, revisit it and cringe that they could ever work on something that bad. So there, the pedestal you are aiming at keeps moving. The simple purpose then becomes, 'How to get better?'. Maybe THAT is the underlying purpose of all of us in life, which we realise when our friend, the 'purpose 1' gets activated.

Of course, when you are chasing your purpose and its only you who keeps changing the definition of success, (but nonchalantly tell others that success eludes you), there is a strong possibility of turning either way. You won't stop till you reach and that is an extremely admirable fighting spirit to display. Or, you simply won't know when to stop. Which can obviously lead to a mental breakdown. Its not like rating yourself higher. Its simply putting yourself down and pushing yourself to unfamiliar limits and arena.

Maybe the 'Celebrate small successes' part was this. It all makes sense now like a puzzle. Also, the 'dream - like' success (that mostly form main parts of inspiring stories) comes to you only when you are ready to take it. So till then, its the purpose and the undying spirit to pursue your purpose.

Random rambling - v2.32

Well, again, one of those days where I realise I've to write, but I just don't know what to write. Its like I start off with a working title and then I modify the body of the blog to suit the working title :P.

I get lost off late, (such a pity) whenever I think I've to write a blog. I'd promised myself that come what may, I'll be creative enough to come up with some topic - either something I hold close to my heart, or something about current affairs that could spark a debate or a controversy. Not that I'm (fully) aware of either, now, but I don't know, its somehow just slipped. But I promised myself today (again) that I'll write. I mean I should atleast keep writing if I intend writing a book as some people opine.

Book or no book, which is still a faraway thought, I thought how it'd actually be if I managed to write one anytime in life. For one, it would start once I complete the album. Two, I don't have to depend on studio availability or featuring artiste's availability. Three, four and five, it makes matters easier when you are fully in control (Yes, I do have OCD). Six, I need to decide if I can humour people or inspire them :).

I was thinking of a topic to write a book. The very fact that I'm putting it up on a public forum is for people to give me ideas. I think I'm less perturbed by the insecurity that someone else might write a book. No! I'm pretty sure individual treatments are unique. So, shoot off if you guys have any ideas.

On that note, I'm probably not as confident as my linguistic skills with my music. Perhaps, I'm, but I don't know. Maybe its because its all an extremely elaborate procedure that has (successfully, so far) drained our energies to magnanimous levels. How else can you explain a debut album in the making for 1 year, 10 months now? Well, on the flipside (really, a flip side?) we atleast love what we have (almost) come out with.

With a dearth of topics to blog, I sometimes feel I've lost touch with writing. Be it songs or blogs. Free mind is a virtue in matters of such regard, but free mind is a matter of well, the mind to say the least. All I mean is every creative process should be such that when you embark upon a wonderful journey playing around with music or words, your mind should become free. It is all because of the divinity imbibed in art forms, which is also the reason that is evident when art sees a form from an evolved person.

Well, before I start to aimlessly rant, let me retire with this short blog for now. Lot of exciting new stuff happening which I can't wait to share. But more on that, soon.

Let me end on a note that I put on twitter a few weeks back - Nervousness is what robs excitement of its charm. So live it, enjoy it and live it large.

And then, we lived through 2012!

Alas, what a sad state of affairs. I'd high hopes on something exciting that was impending to happen, although I kinda knew it would all be a big bogus like how the people of Massachusetts (tough spelling, that) would start flying by 2000, all because of 'pralaya' - the ultimate (supposedly) destruction.

Well, with not being sorry and with new aims, new ambitions, new hopes starts a new year, yet again. Happy 2013 to you folks.

I forcibly restrained myself from writing something on the last day of the previous year. Because I've realised there are a few things that seem monotonous. Things maybe monotonous, but till you find out different ways to do them. I generally rant on the 31st December. Writing will be all philosophical. At least that is how it has been, so far. Not that I wanted to spare the blog followers, but I was outside, hogging on cheese, waiting for the clock to strike 12, with one of my oldest friends. Well, that was nothing like having a celebration by a beach, but was quite something!

2012 had been good. Professionally, musically, socially. Tiny steps taken in each direction will still count as the way forward. With pre-PhD exams, artiste recordings, fire tests, new dimensions of jamming, with a chunk of the education loan cleared, couldn't really have asked for more. Well, honestly, didn't have time to ask for more.

New songs were made, almost-done songs were scrapped, album saw a remarkable progress (more on that later, when the time is right), learnt stuff like crazy. Have become more conscious about how a particular tone sounds, although I still maintain that I cannot say for sure if I can make more songs or have anything left in my senses to do so. Getting out of my comfort zone and jamming with people hitherto unknown, trying to sing western numbers was a major self confidence booster.

Professionally, this February, I'd be completing two years of working at Jain, in a profession that I never wanted to get into or pursue any time in my life. But that's the way it is. I love what is happening and how. I sometimes think its also a part of the shouldered responsibility to contribute my part to the dwindling Indian Research Fraternity. I must thank my stars for getting me people who guide me, and boy do they do it so well! And then there was teaching, (where I unknowingly emulated Tim Cook) :D.

Well, a few resolutions made didn't work out too well, I must admit. Though monetarily its all self sufficient, not quite enough for what I've in mind :P. Workouts were extremely sparse, a routine that I'm hell bent upon changing and working towards. Photography and biking have to still wait. The emotionally high moment was finally getting my own bass guitar toward the end of the year, after suppressing the desire to play it for 5 years or so. Loads of stuff remain to be learnt.

All in all, if I can manage to lament at all, it can only be my non elimination of usage of backspace while typing, still knowing only a couple of words in French, and just two trips in one year.

Well, happy 2012 it was and happier 2013 it will be. Er, happy or not, busier it will be for sure. Hope it might be as productive.

Ta!

'Happy'ness

The pursuit of happyness. What a wonderful movie it is. As I write, I feel like wanting to watch the movie. Maybe the love for the innocent script, or the current feeling, I don't know.

Happiness. What is it? The love? The desire? The achievement? What? Maybe it is all of the afore, maybe its just one of the states of mind one is in when not in equilibrium, perhaps? 

People tend to get happy for doing things that maybe others might not have done. That sense of achievement. People get happy for doing things what they had probably promised themselves that they would complete, that feeling of serene tranquility, right after victory (of course the type that doesn't involve bloodshed).

But what is it? Money can't buy happiness, we have all learnt. It so happens, more often than not that you are happy only till you achieve something. What beyond that point? Do you breakdown? Do you retire to a shell of reclusion? Do you celebrate? Maybe its all a perspective.

Happiness is so many things, according to what the dictionary tells me. But is it the ultimate goal of life? Staying happy? Or is it becoming happy? Is it bigger than money? Is it bigger than what we are here for? Is it just a mere amalgamation of the two? 

Any day, probably I'd have wanted to answer this. Not today. Today, I'm questioning. Because, its not that easy. With variety in life, with umpteen choices and countless options, I know in the current state of mind that staying or being happy is just a phase. A phase where in your probably wouldn't worry about tasks to complete, or should I rather say, put them on the back burner, perhaps? Or even act as if nothing is wrong. Its all a perspective. 

When you are unable to make a decision, you vent out on blogs like these, or try doing (and maybe failing) what you love doing. I think I should just let it pass, for, the phase of questioning too, needs a system restart.

..of being pious?

Strange. Very strange that I don't remember writing about one of my favourite topics ever, in 3 (4?) years. But yeah, at least I made up my mind to write something now. After probably having many countless discussions, I choose this day, Vinayaka Chaturthi to write about this!

Well, hello to everybody. For starters, wish you a very happy festival, though I'm not sure how to do that. I mean, its not like its new year, or birthday or a marriage day. How can you wish someone to have a happy festival? Does it mean that the other days should not be happy? How lame.

Let me clear a few airs right away. I'm not someone who doesn't believe in God. There are most things that science can explain to me, but for the ones that clearly lie in a limbo, I owe/blame it to God. I'm not being blasphemous here, neither am I extremely pious. I just opine that God is a supreme super entity (if I may, at all) of positive energy. Driven by science, that force should clearly be balanced by something negative. We have been forced to learn and understand that in event of such a confrontation, only the good will win. God knows what'll happen (pun intended).

I am not against worship, idol worship or anything. For me, God of all religions is still the epitome of supremacy. I say a silent prayer if I pass by a temple, mosque or church. That way, I don't care what others have to think.

In the hindu sect, there have been many Gods that have countless temples. Lord Ganesha is worshipped so that every work started goes ahead smoothly, Lord Saraswathi is hailed as the Goddess of learning and arts, Lord Anjaneya the God of strength, etc.

God is hailed as the all pervasive, all knowing entity. It has always occurred in my mind to think how big would this entity be. Would it (or he or she) look down on the universe as a speck of dust? For me, its more of a belief. I believe in the existence of God. In those moments when I really want to build muscle, before going to gym, I pray to Lord Anjaneya :D. No, seriously.

People are seen to pray before exams, before results, before marriage, etc. My doubt is this. God is all pervasive. He knows what you do. He knows of your intimate moments, your private moments, what crap is filled in your head, what you dream, what you are inside when you pretend to be something else, what secret desire you have, what fantasies you have, how often you wish well or wish ill to others, and basically all stuff that you probably won't even talk to your confidante about. What is the whole point in praying and asking for a boon or vardaan?. When I prayed today, like the many times it has occurred in recent times, I thought of apologizing for any sins committed. Then instantly, I realised God knows about it, he knows when I've been sorry for doing anything bad. I didn't want to ask for anything for myself. Because I realised that God knows what I really want, and I'll get it if I deserve to have it.

Is this confusion because of philosophies of life or of growing up or of not having belief? I don't know. Having said all that, I would say again that its not that I won't go to temples. I can't be rebellious that way. Maybe I don't want to be. I pray to God every now and then. What to ask of God in a prayer is the exact time I get lost. I see acts of when a person does something he's committed to with utmost sincerity, getting rewarded; that boon that a few artists are blessed with who can just play around with art, or the way in which science itself unravels its mystery, as all Godly.

Again, maybe its just me. Maybe the high degree of philosophy makes me write all this. It would be interesting to see how people who read this would react.

Let the debate begin.

Peace!

and things go on....

I hate to say this, but it surely seems like a whiff of writing, or a spree, so as to say, which just lasted for about 3 years or so. I've never not written for this long. Maybe twitter is aiding me to not to. That's what they refer to as microblogging, I guess. But that's what is a perfect excuse. :)

Anyways, hello to the blog world. Things haven't changed as yet, if anything, without seeing the light of the day, many things are simply piling up. Not to mention the amount of stuff that I want to do also keeps increasing by the day. Hell, we live just once, why not do what all you can in this life? What if i'm a mule in the next birth? :D

This happens to me every time. Whenever there is a new album I download, I'm so hooked on listening to the technicalities that my brain refuses to take in anything else (or give out for that matter). After a really long time, I have a new hindi album downloaded. Yes, I shamelessly admit that I download stuff illegally, but also admit that if I like the stuff, I pay and get an audio CD. But a recent revelation that the audio CD quality is in fact, better than what I'd thought it would be should make me reconsider that. I am getting extremely critical of the kind of music coming out these days though. Also, my music system has not been serviced. And honestly, the only time I get to listen to music is in the bus, on my headphones. I think i'll have an eargasm if I listen to an audio CD on my music system anytime now.

Coming to that topic, I really hope I make sure that its ready at least by the time our mastered copy is out. I'm also happy that the album is shaping up well. But it feels so inconsequential when I actually make a statement saying that the album has been in the making for about an year and a half now. It could be lauded or trashed in a few days after release, but hey, I'm happy we tried. I read somewhere that the route is more important than the destination. Maybe its a Rahman-quote. That reminds me, all musicians I adore/admire/idolize is more than for just their music. Its probably the process by which they have made songs, made music so far in life. That is what is inspiring. Inspiring not only while on stage or while composing or arranging. Inspiring in every walk of life. Such is their impact.

With this random rant, I think I've satiated myself for having written in this blog after 4 months. Hope will have or will make up something concrete for the next blog.

Au revoir!