Purpose

Sometimes in life, it could be sooner or later but in due course, I guess we all get a one idea, a one thought that would make it seem like that's our purpose to be. It might so be that the said thing is a little unattainable, maybe fantastical, or might just have a lot of hurdles that are kinda difficult to be solved by one person alone. Yet, there is this trepidation and a weird sense of excitement that the mind knows. There is some gut feeling, or some push that the mind gets and you get into it.

The story till here is fine. The person achieves whatever he wants, its like a slap on the face for his detractors and his life's purpose is resolved, right?

Wrong.

Purpose. The very inspiring thoughts that one might get about something one is passionate about and definitely wants to achieve despite having obstacles aplenty. Purpose. The fleeting thoughts of possible futile trials to get something that one wants. You know, life has never been and I don't think it should ever be about getting what one wants. Its always the journey. The path you take to achieve your purpose is actually your purpose.

A bunch of people might try (in vain) to portray success as a very inspiring thing. Its not success that's inspiring. Success becomes extremely banal in comparison with what goes to become successful. Perseverance, discipline, goal, failure, persistence, faith, love, support and dedication are inspiring.

Next time someone comes to you and tells you about success, you know what to do.

But without purpose, all these fancy words are nothing but just words. So, even if its a fleeting thought, give it some thought. Yeah, the fact remains that the whole world might not feel its a good idea, but hey, its your purpose. Maybe you were destined to follow that path, not the world. Just remember that the road isn't tarred. Don't tell the Karnataka government, they'll concretise that too. Enjoy the rough ride anyways.

Complacence

With a one week not very rigorous training session at cult.fit, I realised that it is a good choice. The workouts are mostly different, and there are lot of things to choose from. First criterion is to get some physical activity, true. I mean, if you aren't getting any activity done, that is. Post that, its to make sure you get what your body wants - this, keeping in mind any injuries, disabilities (physical only). Then it is to scale it up. Few are fortunate to not have any injuries or not have any heart condition that requires or necessitates a workout. But in either case, thanks to my good coaches that I'd found at the right times, cult is just taking it a step higher. During my individually monitored workout sessions too, I was trying to make sure the body gets as much variety as possible. But the thing with someone barking instructions to you and someone who seems like they are brandishing a whip is that you push. You push yourself to do one last rep, one last round, one last pushup. You scream, you hurl expletives, but eventually, you do.

Why is a variety necessary? The body, from what I've understood can take so much abuse. But when there is a regular workout that it is subjected to, it starts to get used to it. For example, it knows that every monday you'll train on your shoulders. So, it starts taking things lightly. The body anticipates like it has a brain of its own and says - Ah, shoulders Monday today. I know what to do. Throw in squats the next Monday and before the body realises what's happening, half of your workout is done. So, keep the body on toes. Throw in cardio here and there, never at a routine. Routine. That bloody routine.

Well, the body does decide to chill when you throw routine. But what's at play here? The brain. The part of the brain that controls all this, more specifically. But its that routine that has to just disappear. While I was thinking of wreaking more havoc on routine with regards to workout, I realised (or was made to, over beer) that the brain sits satiated almost all of the times. Think about it. The mundane work (which I've so effectively broken routine of), the mundane chores, basically a routine. Few of them like me were brought up in a way to practice a routine. That's what makes one dedicated, they said. I followed that too, like an innocent pup. But dedication and routine is something that's not even related. Routine bores you. Routine doesn't do anything good. Persistence does. Dedication does. Its a very bad thing if kids are brought up to practice a routine. I mean, what would excite the brain? Why would the brain not get bored of it?

Risk - Calculator or Taker?

So, what is it that is the biggest mystery of life?
What is calculated, never happens.
What is expected, never happens.
What is planned for, never happens.

Then what does? Life does happen.

It is the intricacy that binds together all the uncertainties that forms life. Some people just learn to wade through the waters early on. Some people wait and make sure they take swimming lessons, have life jackets, have backup plans all set and then wade. All those plans to just wade. Not even swim. I think these people would take forever to actually swim. And to take swimming lessons, fulfil another prerequisite, and to fulfil that, yet another. But who set all these prerequisites? The foolish brain. Why? Fear.

The day you let go of fear and wade, the day you learn sometimes you need to fly before you can walk, is the day the fear disappears. The fear just doesn’t go away with time. It doesn't go away with taking more lessons, it doesn't go away with pushing things away or equipping yourself better. It only comes when you beat it. Like how the slogan of URI formed - Ghar main ghuske maarenge.

No, honestly, that's how its done. Maybe at the end of the day, the person who waded will win. Maybe the dude who prepared will win. But that's not the concern. That's actually not anybody's concern. The journey is what counts. It’s also the preference. Some people change.

But what's right and what's wrong? What kinda risk has to be taken? Who calculates all these? Does life happen the way the people who make calculated risks want it? Doesn't it present itself in all the uncertain glory it is meant to? Who's the winner now? The risk, the calculator, the taker or life?

:)

What's the grass like on your side?

A very oft repeated phrase. Something that says that what you don't have is always better. Grass is always greener on the other side. How greener?

Boy, am I on a roll or what. The third blog in the same month is probably a never before done feat. But change is good. Thankfully, not greener.

This thing about lamenting and hoping for a better tomorrow kinda thing is quite annoying, I must say. I mean, its not a particular person I'm pointing toward. There is one aspect of living for today. Which I think is minutely connected to the grass being greener. You could also choose to treat them as separate streams too. But I'll tell you how they can be corollaries of each other.

In the wake of hoping for greener pastures, we neglect the already green pasture right in front of our eyes. Funnily, this reminds me of the hot debate on the internet about some stupid dress. (Only for the colour, nothing philosophical there, duh). Anyways, its like the shade of grass I've is not green enough. Although, it has the same if not more potential than the new one I'm eyeing, right? Wrong. Well, actually right, but in the wake of situational pressure or current temporary tough times, every fucking thing looks as green as it could ever be. The job offer you get after you just report to your job. The hot chick's photo as an alliance proposal after you get married. This is all classic repent worthy but meaningless practical examples. Nothing is greener. In this context, I'd like to get black in the picture. If something is black, it's black. Nothing can be blacker, right? Green, in this reference is that. I don't think there can be anything greener than the pasture you have in your hand right now.

So, while hoping that the other patch is greener and wanting to jump there by abandoning ship is not a solution. It never is. The situation forces the mind to conjure things like that which obviously alleviates the tension or the negative feelings, but the mind is quite a wanderer. If you let it wander, that is. Wait. What controls the mind? Hmm!!

Give up or pursue?

I don't recall when the last time I was all charged up to blog. Maybe the last few times I was charged up alright, but being the typical me, I must have pushed it saying if its important, it'll come back to me. Yeah. I do that a lot.

The thing about being charged up is nice. Especially after you are not in such a good phase, mentally. (Glad I don't have to mention physically, gladder that I don't have to update this with a recent pic). One of the least expected things happens out of the least expected situations. More than that, its how you choose to apply it with what's happening which is what makes it beautiful. Life's all about relating things and coming a full circle, right? (Yeah, I do this too, a lot).

So like most of the blog entries I make, the subject that's addressed is generally a feeling about myself. In a way, it is trying to vent out pent up frustration sometimes, or just document it with no specific intent of the world to see it. Its more of a recounting my own writing ability which I generally do with the older blogs.

So after thinking last night - 'If you know something is never meant to be, should you pursue it or give up?', which didn't fetch any answer, I came across a Facebook memory. A post I'd written in 2011. It said - 'If you want something badly, you'll get it. If you have tried real hard and still not got it, it means you've not tried hard enough.' Add to that a few other realisations about dependence and other similar shit. Perfect blog recipe. Yay.

The point is, no one decides if its meant to be or not. Sorry, I mean, no one else decides that. When you say it's not meant to be, you are already accepting defeat. So with a mindset that its not going to work out, there is no point pursuing it. Fine, the universe conspires as a whole entity to get what you really want is a nice Shah Rukh Khan thing. But it will hold true and a lot of water to it only when the feeling is reciprocated with a certain degree of action. If you want to be 5 times better than yourself today, its obvious that you've to at least work 5 times as much. Just hoping that you'd get 5 times better than yourself tomorrow is not enough. Its of course, a conducive environment to make sure you get shit done, but standalone, it is of absolutely no value.

In that regard, the second post makes a lot of practical sense. Again, who defines how hard you have worked? Only you do. You are allowed to get tired, you are allowed to make mistakes. But coming to terms with adjustment is something that's not permissible. Not in my lexicon at least. I think its like those reps that you do, only till failure. That's the only fucking way out. For everything.

September 2019

There.

Just 1/3rd remains now. 2019 has been on a leash it seems like.

And as true to history, September did begin with both bitter and sweet. I think this should be when I should celebrate Ugadi. Or maybe not, because it happens (quite literally) in any case. Also, the month has somehow seen the celebration of the one deity that is supposed to clear all obstacles in your path, so, well, that's that.

So far, lot of things have happened, but yeah, life's survived. In the wake of the resource depletion that's plaguing us that's a real bad thing, but what can you do. You can control only that much and wait for nature to take revenge. Need to bow down to societal laws, sadly.

Anyways, before I set out to a rant and start seeming like a mad man, I will end this entry here.

Peace.

of Stupidity of man (or woman)

Pre Script: "or woman" is in brackets not because I'm sexist. "of Stupidity of man" is a reference to a song.

(The shit you've to clear up. Duh!)

I came across an interview with Will Smith sometime back. He was talking about the influence of social media on people. He made a very funny, yet strong point during the course of the interview. "The thing is - earlier, if you were stupid, you were stupid all right, but no one else knew about it. Its not like that anymore."

I think by the passing day, this feeling is growing to be stronger and stronger. With people posting all kinds of nonsense and preaching all kinds of 'life leading' strategies, politics, defaming just any random person but with special affinity toward celebrities or their kids, it makes me wonder if this is what the world is headed toward. Because this is after all a mere reflection of what constitutes the world.

There is not one post that triggered me into writing this. I'd just have let it pass. But, people have an issue with everything. An actress does a photo shoot for Calvin Klein, they have an issue. I mean, CK is not popular for making sarees. A star kid wears something twice, they have a problem. The situation gets even more complicated with politics. Its like half baked information being fed to social media and some wise ass comments on it with his two cents. Someone retaliates because obviously the person who made the point can't have the last say. And then there is a whole bunch of people who try and preach and kinda enforce what they think has to be done to live. I won't be surprised if its just so superficial that the people in question don't even know an iota of how to do it themselves.

Well, who am I to judge? I'm nobody. I can judge and actually keep it to myself. I don't have issues with changing trends. I don't have issues with changing priorities. I don't have issues with changing jobs. What I do have issues with is perseverance. Meaning. And to a certain degree, discipline and dedication to what you stand for, or once stood for. Tomorrow just because stand up comedy is gaining popularity, if I choose to do stand up comedy and go about telling that I'm the best in the business, I'd myself be the comedy without having to do an act. Its one thing if you discover a flair for it within yourself, but are you really helping yourself by forcing on to your self to be something that doesn't come naturally to you?

Again, I know that people have been making a living out of social media. Internet has always been a very powerful tool. I'm not against marketing or putting yourself out there if that is what you are looking for. But just think before you post or comment. See if you find it stupid in your head. Taking risks and creating a path hitherto unknown is good. Just see how much deviation is it from your reality.

Belief system

There. Just once a while you come up with a sequel to one of your blogs. Maybe a corollary, more so.

No, its not about the belief that 'you believe in what you've to do and half your job's done' type of belief. But its a rather funny type of belief that has kinda been thrust upon us. What do I call it? Lets see if the blog suggests some idea toward the end.

While there are beliefs that you abide by, there are some that are mere societal 'laws', if I may even say so. These laws are dumped on to you and easily, some 97% of the populace blindly follows it. While a section of people get offended when someone eats cows or pigs (which is further complicated by adding another entity that has ruined the world - caste, but lets not get there today), the same people refuse to believe that by not eating meat, they are just living in a false assumption of not killing a living being. The vegetarian section quite similarly consumes all parts of the shoot and the root, quite similar to a non vegetarian consuming legs, breast or liver. You need to survive, you need to eat. Period. But no, one is made to believe that the other is wrong. Some harmony can't exist. Faces have to be made. Disgust has to be expressed. Why? Because we have freedom to do so. Freedom or the lack of it, which curtails the very essence of it, when there is someone waiting to express their opinion on what you want to feed yourself. "Oh, you are a Brahmin, how can you eat beef" remains the most absurd, hilarious and foolish statement that is of a typical classic blind belief system.

The other day I was sitting at a temple by myself. It was a semi rural area on the outskirts of the city. Being an atheist, or, rather, after converting myself into one, I went to the temple only because that was the only place available to sit down in the swelter. I am a converted atheist, so I know the whole deal with footwear and temples. Yet, succumbing to the societal forced norms, I don't act very cranky and mess with the system that way. If at all I enter a temple, I take out my footwear. Mind you, this might seem normal to you till you start questioning it. Only once you question do you see the most obvious reasoning, but let's just leave it at that. So I was sitting by the side of the inner chamber, which was the wall facing the road. It was quite dusty and I wasn't planning on entering the sacred temple. So I chose to leave my footwear on. It was about 30 minutes later that I was questioned by a passer by, a younger guy (perhaps). "How can you leave your footwear on when you are sitting in the temple?" It was a question that was not posed to anticipate a reply. It was a question that came out of anguish. How can a person not take care of the footwear when he's in the temple premises.

So all the god believing people have a set belief that the god they worship is only in the temple. What makes these people roam around in footwear wherever they go? Don't they contradict the saying that god's everywhere? Again, if god's everywhere, is he not in the footwear? Is he not in the mind of the person who designed the footwear some thousands of years back? Is he not in the mind of the person who 'harms' religious animals? Is he only in the mind of the person who is allowed to kill poor mute plants? Isn't this all a little too much imposed by the society rather than anything else? Much like caste, religion and the other bull crap that is plain disgusting?

Of existence

Hello 2019. Yeah, well, it's been a little over 60 days, but what the heck.

I was thinking off late that when people say something stopped happening or they stopped working toward something, did they really mean to do it? There is also the oft used - 'Life happened'. Which is a little cliched. Because if you gave up on what you wanted to do to live life, it kinda contradicts the whole thing of living.

Seriously, what is it that happens. Yes, we all get busy, we all tend to get out of touch with friends - definitely wanes from what it would have been earlier - in the good times. But the one thing that I think must stay with a person is the fire that was ignited at some point of time in life. Today, in my current state of mind, I'd strongly assert that age is a number. Earlier, maybe some 4-5 years back, it was an escape route. Once you see things happening to you when the time is right, the term age just dissolves itself into time. Its one thing if it makes one wiser with experience. But then there are the others too, which makes you think why such dumb fucks are still favoured by the universe and why they are still kept alive :P.

Anyways, coming back to the point (if there was any), life does happen. Life throws responsibilities, life throws unanticipated deaths, life throws unplanned pregnancies, life throws uncalled for bankruptcy and so on. This might seem like a veil of unnecessary things just waiting to pounce on you as you grow older and claim that 'there is no time'. But yeah, life can't be as carefree as it was in college. Life has to happen. But how much are you capable of adapting with it. How many of us are willing to take huge risks in career post 30? How many of us are happily single and still have an active profile on dating apps post 35? How many of us have a physique and the stamina that can put a 20 year old to shame, at 40? How many of us can become style icons at 45? How many of us taste success in what we want at 50? Notice the 5 year gap? It wasn't accidental.

Life happens, when you make it happen. By alienating yourself from what you want, by giving into peer or family pressure, by being bogged down by additional responsibilities, by assuming that its too late now is not life. Its existence. No wonder then, that people experience mid life crisis when they are 30. Or is it existential crisis? Wait, should it happen only at 30? Wasn't age a number?